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Where to retire?
Email | 21 July 2013 | Unknown

Posted on 07/21/2013 3:17:33 PM PDT by Windflier

Some uniquely American humor for a Sunday evening. Enjoy!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: funnies; humor; retirement; seniors
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To: carriage_hill

or you could retire to Texas where

1. A granny ax’s if you ever had fried ice cubes

2.Welcome to Texas....are you circumcised ?

3. Durin a bad weather day...someone in the café ax’s...was that a tornado or is Carter’s stomach still upset

4. New relocate argues that your version of the events of the Alamo are wrong cause they saw the movie

5. Hal Bundy never scored 4 touchdowns in one game


21 posted on 07/21/2013 3:46:30 PM PDT by advertising guy (.......... when Helen Thomas died........ Satan smiled and holler'd.....MaMa !!!)
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To: bigheadfred
Do NOT come to IDAHO. We are all armed to the teeth racists with no sense of humor.

That's not funny!

22 posted on 07/21/2013 3:48:41 PM PDT by eartrumpet
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To: MagUSNRET

I remember a few of them:

You can retire to Pennsyl-tucky where...
1) Pittsburgh is in the west, Philadelphia is in the east and Alabama is in the middle.
2) Scrapple, hominy grits and shoe-fly-pie are considered delicacies.
3) All the waitresses call you, “Hon”.
4) 3/4 of the state shuts down for 5-7 days during spring Deer Hunting Season.


23 posted on 07/21/2013 3:49:55 PM PDT by Carriage Hill (Guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk & spoons make you fat.)
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To: eartrumpet

lighten up francis


24 posted on 07/21/2013 3:51:58 PM PDT by bigheadfred (INFIDEL)
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To: Windflier

You could come to Massachusetts...

...but I can’t think of one damn reason you would...ever.


25 posted on 07/21/2013 3:55:31 PM PDT by bramps (Sarah Palin got more votes in 2008 than Mitt Romney got in 2012)
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To: carriage_hill

I have scrapple right here in my freezer in California. It got my luggage searched bringing it back from Virginia :-)


26 posted on 07/21/2013 3:56:49 PM PDT by Axenolith (Government blows, and that which governs least, blows least...)
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To: bigheadfred

“We are all armed to the teeth racists with no sense of humor.”

what about the men?


27 posted on 07/21/2013 3:56:54 PM PDT by max americana (fired liberals in our company after the election, & laughed while they cried (true story))
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To: Windflier

My dad said when he left Oklahoma they ate in the house and crapped outside. When he got to California they crap in the house and eat outside.


28 posted on 07/21/2013 3:59:28 PM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (If global warming exists I hope it is strong enough to reverse the Big Government snowball)
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To: RoosterRedux
I spent the better part of my life and career in NYC. No one retires to NYC.

I'll bet a lot of people get stuck there after retiring. I know that I wouldn't want to live there before, or after retirement.

29 posted on 07/21/2013 3:59:35 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: max americana
what about the men?

you been in hollyweird tooooo long...

30 posted on 07/21/2013 4:01:21 PM PDT by bigheadfred (INFIDEL)
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To: advertising guy
or you could retire to Texas where

6. You soon discover that the characters from "King Of The Hill" aren't fictional.

31 posted on 07/21/2013 4:03:07 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: Windflier

that was fun!

i live in northeast FL and can
attest to always carrying/using
an umbrella: rain and shine.
(that would be my Sponge Bob
Square Pants perfect for me
umbrella-—)


32 posted on 07/21/2013 4:03:20 PM PDT by krunkygirl (force multiplier in effect...)
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To: bigheadfred

Too late.


33 posted on 07/21/2013 4:04:05 PM PDT by MarkeyD (Obama is a victim of Affirmative Action)
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To: bramps
You could come to Massachusetts...
...but I can’t think of one damn reason you would...ever.

Youch!

34 posted on 07/21/2013 4:04:24 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: TigerClaws; Windflier

Round here “yall” is the simple plural. “Allayall” is the emphatic or inclusive plural. Yall refers to the two or three folks in front of you. Allayall means everyone in the group, not leaving anyone out And we don’t mess it up with apostrophes, either written or spoken..


35 posted on 07/21/2013 4:04:49 PM PDT by arthurus (Read Hazlitt's Economics In One Lesson ONLINE http://steshaw.org/econohttp://www.fee.org/library/det)
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To: Lurkina.n.Learnin

Sounds like your dad is a real wit. Interesting observation.


36 posted on 07/21/2013 4:05:49 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: advertising guy

LOLOL!

#4 reminds me of a MD couple who once stopped at the Farm’s retail store, after a tour of the Gettysburg Battlefield, and she said it was a shame the Germans won. Her poor husband just looked at the ceiling, and I gave her the several tomato plants for free, as a consolation. Heh.


37 posted on 07/21/2013 4:06:07 PM PDT by Carriage Hill (Guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk & spoons make you fat.)
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To: bigheadfred

38 posted on 07/21/2013 4:06:43 PM PDT by MarkeyD (Obama is a victim of Affirmative Action)
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To: MarkeyD

O M G


39 posted on 07/21/2013 4:06:51 PM PDT by bigheadfred (INFIDEL)
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To: krunkygirl
i live in northeast FL and can attest to always carrying/using an umbrella: rain and shine.

I lived in your state for about a year and a half. I remember being able to set my watch by the afternoon downpours during the summer.

40 posted on 07/21/2013 4:07:30 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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