Police: Man, hiding in cactus, suspected of sex while driving (only in NM!!)

The Albuquerque Journal ^ | May 28, 2013 | Patrick Lohmann

[CedarDave]

A 25-year-old man is facing multiple charges after police said he was drunkenly having sex with a woman while driving, crashed his car and then ran from police.

Luis Briones, 25, was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out Monday night, hiding in a cactus, after he crashed his Ford Explorer ... on Monday night.

Briones’ female passenger was found naked outside the vehicle after being ejected. She had deep cuts to her face and head, but was in stable condition when she was sent to the hospital, police said.

[Billthedrill]

I never hide in a cactus while driving and trying to have sex. I tried a gorilla suit one time. Wait, wrong forum, don’t hit the Post button, DON’T HIT THE P

[DJ MacWoW]

Click The Pic To Donate

Support FR, Donate Monthly If You Can

[Cyman]

Kevin Costner and Madeleine Stowe they aint

[IllumiNaughtyByNature]

Police: Man, hiding in cactus, suspected of sex while driving (only in NM!!)

Nope. Rule 34 says you are wrong and I will NOT google it to prove as much.

[mardi59]

Mothers
Against
Deviant
Drivers

[DannyTN]

I'm wondering what kind of cactus it was...might have been one of these:

• Fireball
• Johnson's hybrid
• Rattail
• Argyroderma testiculare
• Blondie
• Caesalpinia pulcherrima
• Calibanus hookerii
• String of Hearts
• Moonglow
• Red Burst
• Cylindropuntia prolifera
• Dinteranthus pole-evansii
• Echeveria "Glory"
• Echeveria "pulv-Oliver"
• Eulophia petersii
• Fouquieria purpusii
• Graptoveria "Debbie"
• Parodia scopa - Silver Ball Cactus
• Rhipsalis horrida - Mousetail Cactus
• Sedum sexangulare
• Sempervivum - Hen and Chicks
• Sempervivum "Oddity"
• Stenocereus thurberi - Organ Pipe
• Tunilla erectoclada

[Constitution Day]

WTFIIWNM?

[livius]

My favorite was the local official in Alabama who was finally arrested for driving with his - er, equipment - hanging out of the car window. He’d apparently been doing this for years and the police ignored the complaints until he did this to some woman more politically connected than he. .

But my main question is how he managed to do it in the first place. Maybe he was a contortionist in his youth? And he really thought the chicks would dig it?

[Joe Boucher]

Take more than a partial bottle

[Joe Boucher]

Take more than a partial bottle

[Monkey Face]

And which one of those is the “jumping cholla??”

[CedarDave]

LOL! Good one, thanks.

[martin_fierro]

AW HELL NAW

[Hardraade]

He was having sex while driving a cactus?

That IS weird. Almost kinky.

[rfp1234]

My vote goes to •Fouquieria purpusii

[Born to Conserve]

Isn’t this the subject of a ZZTop song?

[skinndogNN]

The guy was just trying to prove that he was a multi-tasker.

[Slings and Arrows]

Sex with a cactus? OUCH!

Watch out for the pricks.

[a fool in paradise]

Looking for a place to plant your cactus?

[GSWarrior]

Women should never practice on a man wearing cactus.