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Vendome Comes Out of the Closet
Vanity | 4/30/2013 | Vendome

Posted on 04/30/2013 12:34:36 PM PDT by Vendome

Okay, Okay. I've come to terms with myself and at great risk, I have announcement to make:

In these times of denial of oneself and suppression of your identity, it has become apparent that I must take a stand and being a man of convictions, not wanting anymore ambiguity in my life and to clear any confusion, least my life be co-opted by the homosexual lobby I am declaring my love for all things women(cept that talking on and on forever about what I don't know and the hugging afterward when I just want to go to sleep).

I Am A Heterosexual!

Yep, don't be surprised. I am guessing a good many of you knew this already but, there it is.

I don't find men attractive in any way shape or form. Not that there would be anything wrong that....

I know some of you may judge me harshly due to your convictions and sense of moral superiority, perhaps because of your spiritual enlightenment and I'm okay with that.

I will say that there have been times, in the middle of an argument with my girlfriend, I wished she was a man so I could end the idiocy being spewed. But, that just wouldn't be sporting, fair and besides, It's just plain gross.

I'll take the ear piercing shrills of the softer part of man over a hairy nipple anyday. Well, I'll clarify: there have been some pretty hot European women who needed to shave and I was attracted to them, for a moment.

Still, my Hetero identity and American snobbery won out and I never ventured relations with Bruna.

So, flame suit on. Excoriate me if you must but, I know who I am.

PS Laz, you are my hero but, that's as far as our bromance will ever go.

I like hips, lips and @#4ts...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: alot; i; love; vanity; women
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To: JoeProBono

81 posted on 04/30/2013 1:40:49 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: Norm Lenhart; humblegunner

82 posted on 04/30/2013 1:42:22 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: jmacusa

All kidding aside, The Nazi oppression of the Jews didn’t come all in a day either. People should read up on the Pink Swastika.

The end result of gays in power WAS the holocaust. Not entirely, but they more than moved things along. It will happen again.


83 posted on 04/30/2013 1:43:03 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Norm Lenhart

I’m not a girl. I have a penis.

My Wife, 5’8” 125lbs, has all the requisite female bits in all the right places. She would make a much better place kicker...

I know, it’s confusing to those inculcated in the Media’s favored gender roles, guy-guy/girl-girl... But it works for us.

We even managed to procreate. Naturally. No artificial insemination necessary. It’s true!


84 posted on 04/30/2013 1:43:29 PM PDT by Dead Corpse (I will not comply.)
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To: Dead Corpse
I have a penis.

Tagline material?

85 posted on 04/30/2013 1:50:23 PM PDT by humblegunner
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To: Dead Corpse

This is just bizzarre? I never heard of any such thing being medically possible on MSNBC. And they know everything!

Are you just trolling us with this wild story of yours? Pregnancy without a lab coat?


86 posted on 04/30/2013 1:52:17 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Dead Corpse

87 posted on 04/30/2013 2:14:24 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: Vendome

Delusions of Planters!


88 posted on 04/30/2013 2:18:12 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Kevmo; Vendome
I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body....

Dittos here. Can't believe it took the 8th reply for that answer.

89 posted on 04/30/2013 2:18:57 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

Hard to admit with all the hetrophobia out there.

It was a brave thing he did...


90 posted on 04/30/2013 2:21:19 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Norm Lenhart

All righty then.

I’ve had enough attention for my self actualization.

Time to go back to being nobody and anonymous....


91 posted on 04/30/2013 2:25:49 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: Vendome; Lazamataz

Nope. Coming out made you a celebrity. Laz is now Number 2. Revel in straight glory!!!


92 posted on 04/30/2013 2:27:12 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Norm Lenhart
Years ago, I punched a known queer in a store when he grabbed my butt after work. The owner said he was surprised it took so long for someone to hit him.

I was (wrongly) accused of having affairs with several female coworkers. We went out for lunch at our favorite TEXMEX restaurant and others saw us there.

93 posted on 04/30/2013 2:32:52 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

He’s lucky all you did was punch him. They sure do have a thing for flirting...with death.


94 posted on 04/30/2013 2:35:14 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Norm Lenhart

Well, back then we did not have a concealed carry law in Texas....


95 posted on 04/30/2013 2:45:05 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

I admire your restraint ;)


96 posted on 04/30/2013 2:49:59 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Norm Lenhart

Actually, that guy killed a man in the apartment below his with his .45 M1911 some years later. He had one of his few female friends and was showing it to her, took the magazine out and fired it into the floor thinking the gun was empty. Forgot to check the chamber.


97 posted on 04/30/2013 2:53:53 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

I don’t even know what to say to that.


98 posted on 04/30/2013 2:55:19 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Norm Lenhart

Well, he wanted to be on our unit’s combat pistol team. Glad he never made the cut. We were state champs when I was an E7 in the late 70s and early 80s.


99 posted on 04/30/2013 3:41:58 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

Double yikes!

PS...I envy you getting to serve under Ronaldus Magnus. My daughter is a Sgt in the AF now. She wishes she’d been born 20 years earlier for that reason.

I mean Im a hetro and all but at 3 I was still honin da mad skillZ...no’what I’m sayin? ;)


100 posted on 04/30/2013 3:48:23 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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