Mother Declares Her Children Are "the Biggest Regret of Her Life"

Shine from Yahoo! ^ | 4/10/13 | Rebecca Odes

[Slings and Arrows]

Let's talk about the mom who regrets her children. Last week, the Daily Mail published a first-person story by Isabella Dutton, a 57 year old mother of two who declared her children to be "the biggest regret of her life." Since the Daily Mail is possibly the internet's leading purveyor of "human interest in hating other humans" stories, it goes without saying that the article incited (and was intended to incite) a monstrous tsunami of scorn.

"A mother could never regret her children." It's a truism. But considering the life-altering effect of children on their mothers, it seems impossible that it could really be a universal truth. Isabella Dutton is clearly very unhappy. She feels trapped by the intense demands of her children, calling them parasites. I know lots of mothers who feel this way sometimes. But feeling like your kids are sucking your life force is one thing. Feeling like they "give nothing meaningful back in return"? That's something different.

Dutton believes she simply lacked the wiring for motherhood. She never wanted kids, but didn't want to deny her husband the experience.

[MoochPooch]

Unfortunately this woman reminds me of my own mother who died years ago, angry and bitter, from breast cancer at 53. She refused to see anyone — not even her sister. She had hated the world and hated her life. And she certainly did not like any of her 4 kids. She denigrated everyone, friends and family alike. My father, who was also dysfunctional but kindly, once said that if not for us kids he would have divorced her long ago. (After her death he happily remarried.)

I suspect my mother was a borderline/narcissist. Definitely disturbed — and scary. She had rages, would lose herself and get violent. She spent a lot of time sitting around depressed and brooding. Apparently she had wanted to be a “writer,” although I once saw some of her poetry and thought it stank. So I often wondered what it was she “gave up” for home and family. Basically she was angry that she was mediocre, rather than gifted or glamorous.

These kind of women are truly sad.

[verga]

I found out my father had died on Facebook.

I am sorry for your pain. I know what my wife went through, I can't even imagine yours.

[autumnraine]

I think humans can suffer the same lack of mothering gene that cats and dogs who abandon litters in the woods have.

[autumnraine]

Along those lines, I always got upset with divorced parents who called their ex bad names.

What you are saying to your children is that they 1/2 b*tch and 1/2 a-hole.

[wastedyears]

I worked once with a guy whose mother could only be described as pure evil. She tormented her kids psychologically, non-stop.

My third grade teacher was like that. Tortured me especially the entire school year. Always found a reason to single me out.

[rollo tomasi]

“F’ing kids always got in the way of my livelihood”.

[Eaker]

There was no pain at all. I knew from early on I needed to bide my time and get the hell out which I did.

I got the best revenge on them. My kids love me.

[TheOldLady]

Well, my dad was drunk when he said he wished I had never been born (when I was 15), but he was drunk every day, so it was nothing unusual.

[TheOldLady]

And so do your friends, Mr. Eaker.

[Windflier]

Well, my dad was drunk when he said he wished I had never been born (when I was 15), but he was drunk every day, so it was nothing unusual.

So sorry to hear that. My mom was impaired too, but it wasn't due to drink. She was just born that way.

[thecodont]

It's why I'm very careful about the things I say to my own kids.

God bless you for that.

[anton]

Well, if your legacies were horrible people and that was your greatest thing in life, you are a loser.