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Mother Declares Her Children Are "the Biggest Regret of Her Life"
Shine from Yahoo! ^ | 4/10/13 | Rebecca Odes

Posted on 04/10/2013 11:25:33 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows

Let's talk about the mom who regrets her children. Last week, the Daily Mail published a first-person story by Isabella Dutton, a 57 year old mother of two who declared her children to be "the biggest regret of her life." Since the Daily Mail is possibly the internet's leading purveyor of "human interest in hating other humans" stories, it goes without saying that the article incited (and was intended to incite) a monstrous tsunami of scorn.

"A mother could never regret her children." It's a truism. But considering the life-altering effect of children on their mothers, it seems impossible that it could really be a universal truth. Isabella Dutton is clearly very unhappy. She feels trapped by the intense demands of her children, calling them parasites. I know lots of mothers who feel this way sometimes. But feeling like your kids are sucking your life force is one thing. Feeling like they "give nothing meaningful back in return"? That's something different.

Dutton believes she simply lacked the wiring for motherhood. She never wanted kids, but didn't want to deny her husband the experience.

(Excerpt) Read more at shine.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Society
KEYWORDS: motherhood; napl
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To: verga
My wife was the youngest of five her mother said on a regular basis that she regretted having her, yet my wife was the one that took care of her father when he had Alzheimer's disease, and took care of her mother later in life. The same thing with a friend of mine, his mother said she regretted having him and he is her primary care giver

I don't know how I would deal with that. Sad.

I worked once with a guy whose mother could only be described as pure evil. She tormented her kids psychologically, non-stop. Needless to say, he was a chain-smoking nervous wreck.

61 posted on 04/10/2013 1:22:33 PM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas
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To: Responsibility2nd
Who was it that said....”My mother never saw the irony in always calling me a son of a bitch.”?

Ha!

62 posted on 04/10/2013 1:23:56 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: TheOldLady
Well, we have that in common. I ‘ruined’ my father’s life. Sigh...

Funny how some people don't understand the power of their words. Kids will often remember the worst things we do and say, for the rest of their lives. It's why I'm very careful about the things I say to my own kids.

63 posted on 04/10/2013 1:27:06 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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Comment #64 Removed by Moderator

To: riri

On the contrary, she is very tidy!


65 posted on 04/10/2013 1:29:17 PM PDT by Berlin_Freeper
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To: momtothree

Well said.


66 posted on 04/10/2013 1:34:58 PM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas
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To: Farmer Dean

recreational drugs and the modern feminist mother...


67 posted on 04/10/2013 1:35:59 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: skinndogNN

” After a certain age, children do NOT need you standing over them catering to their every need. They need to get out there. “

About 5 should be right. Wait ‘til they’re 7 and they get an entitlement mentality.


68 posted on 04/10/2013 1:36:27 PM PDT by Pan_Yan (Yes, it's sarcasm.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
I'd have traded with her in an instant. She could have been barren like I am - and I'd have had 2 kids I'd have loved raising.
Her brutal honesty is appreciated, but it's also cruel to the kids. I wonder how much time they've spent at NIH coping with their mother's regrets.
69 posted on 04/10/2013 1:36:47 PM PDT by Maigrey (Life, for a liberal, is one never-ending game of Calvinball. - giotto)
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To: Tax-chick

IMHO... I have known some people like this and you hit the nail on the head. She is incapable of showing true love to anyone. I could throw around words like narcissist or personality disorders but it boils down to what you said. She cannot truly show or feel love to her children or her husband. She probably had a vision of her life and it didn’t come true. Even if it did, she would be unsatisfied simply because she is incapable of feeling any true happiness. The people I pity, however, are her children. She just told the world that they are like parasites that made her unhappy. Sheesh.....


70 posted on 04/10/2013 1:44:47 PM PDT by momtothree
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To: mardi59

My 87 Year Old mother is being sued by by 61 yo sister and 58 yo brother over what she has to leave them in her will (long story)

It is tearing her apart and it is really creepy. Hopefully the judge will feel uncomfortable in this case,


71 posted on 04/10/2013 1:47:43 PM PDT by 54skylark
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To: momtothree
She probably had a vision of her life and it didn’t come true.

I wonder what she wanted, and why she didn't do it instead (or in addition) to having children?

I was going to be Director of the Internal Revenue Service and have an apartment in the Watergate, with cats. Well, the Watergate was razed years ago ... and I have the cats anyway ;-). Some days I'm not happy with my life, but I don't wish I had a different one - just that this one would go better!

72 posted on 04/10/2013 1:55:19 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Do you know why I love reptiles? It's because they don't play guitars.)
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To: anton

“... my children are the greatest thing in my life.. most people are just a bunch of losers...”

If you haven’t had children, may I suggest that you don’t. You see, people who love their children are contributing to the world. No, I do not work in a big, fancy office. No, I do not drive a new Audi or Lexus. No, I am not working on a cure for cancer. However, I am raising three children correctly. Three working, self sufficient, God loving/fearing adults will have resulted from my husband and I. When the good Lord calls me home, I can leave proudly and without regret. My legacy is my children and how I raised them. No library or town hall will carry my name. No school will have a wing named for me. However, my legacy will be true.


73 posted on 04/10/2013 1:55:59 PM PDT by momtothree
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To: Slings and Arrows

Some people are just messed up in the head


74 posted on 04/10/2013 1:57:35 PM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Tax-chick

I don’t think anyone is completely happy with their life. I don’t care if they live in a mansion or have a private jet. Life is difficult. I’m like you... I wish that my life was better in some ways but if I had to trade to someone else... no thanks.


75 posted on 04/10/2013 1:58:40 PM PDT by momtothree
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To: the OlLine Rebel

Does it really surprise anyone that there are all kinds of people out there, and that not everyone is a stereotypical mom?

Hardly newsworthy, considering some mothers kill their own kids.


76 posted on 04/10/2013 1:59:01 PM PDT by Williams (No Obama)
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To: momtothree

There is probably a mental health/personality issue here but I think you got it exactly right. Some people will never be happy, period.


77 posted on 04/10/2013 2:12:28 PM PDT by darkangel82
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To: Windflier
I don’t know how many times I heard her say that we’d ruined her life. Meh...

Nailed that one for me too.

78 posted on 04/10/2013 2:19:01 PM PDT by Eaker (Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. — Robert A. Heinlein.)
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To: verga
My wife was the youngest of five her mother said on a regular basis that she regretted having her,

Same here, but it was both of my parents. It also played out slightly differently.

I found out my father had died on Facebook.

79 posted on 04/10/2013 2:59:41 PM PDT by Eaker (Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. — Robert A. Heinlein.)
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To: 54skylark

My 87 Year Old mother is being sued by by 61 yo sister and 58 yo brother over what she has to leave them in her will (long story)

It is tearing her apart and it is really creepy. Hopefully the judge will feel uncomfortable in this case,

********************

That is so sad. I also hope the judge is uncomfortable. I know I would be. I don’t understand how they can tell her what to leave in HER will, but some people have no soul.

Tell your mom I’ll pray for her peace of mind and to let not her heart be troubled.


80 posted on 04/10/2013 3:18:15 PM PDT by mardi59 (IMPEACH OBAMA NOW!!!!!)
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