Posted on 04/01/2013 10:30:23 AM PDT by trussell
My 13 year old son just joined boy scouts. He would like to go to the camping trip next weekend and only has one outfit that is loaned to him.
He needs shorts (at least 3 pair needed), shirts (they would like him to have 3 or 4 more), pants (same as shirts, 3 or 4 more, boy scout approved socks (several pair).
He wears an 18 husky pant or 36/29 through 36/32. Shirts are XL youth to Medium adult. The troop will allow either the green BOA socks or black socks.
Also, any camping items that he will need. He has the toiletries. a sleeping pad and a canteen...but no sleeping bag or any of the other items on the camping list.
I'm not rich by any means, I've recently had back surgery and am unemployed. If you have it, and it's taking up space you want to clear out, please...consider helping my son.
Truthfully you seem to be making excuses. I am sure there are some members of your church that are not strangers who have some jobs he can do to raise his own money. As far as “breaking his heart” that is just nonsense. It is not like he has been part of Scouting for years and now is forced to miss a trip. Actually he now has a goal to go towards. There is great dignity in paying your own way and 13 is not to early to start
I’ve read through the 38 comments in the forum at the time I started writing this response so I am fully conversant with the various suggestions (all good except for those overlooking your financial circumstances), your responses/requirements, and the stated troop requirements. I will be responding from the point of view of being an adult Scouter for over 15 years in various leadership positions and the father of an Eagle Scout.
First, I find the “clothing requirements” from the troop to be way out of line for a weekend camping activity. Every troop does things a little differently but making sure everybody who could would be able to participate was priority #1 for our troop in central OK. Travelling in uniform was a unit requirement (don’t know about that insurance thing, could be new since I left) but uniform shirts were put away for most of the weekend until it was time to return home. Troop t-shirts were encouraged while official Scout pants/shorts were not a requirement, even when travelling — just wear pants of some kind and be legal in public.
Second, the comments from those about your son earning funds for the uniform are totally in line with Scouting principles that were in place in the 1960s when I became a Cub Scout. He may have to miss this weekend activity but there will be plenty more opportunities.
Our troop was in a suburban community with varying income levels and everybody had an appreciation for the cost of buying uniforms so the unit leadership tried to keep the wear/tear minimized. Just a new short sleeve shirt with the required patches would be nearly $30 and that was in the 90s. Full uniforms, bought new, were rare on most boys except for those that could get some from the unit closet or yard sales. Not even all of the leaders had full uniforms with all official BSA gear.
If this unit’s leadership values looks over participation, I’d say you should search out another unit. Call the local council and ask to speak to the District Executive for that district to discuss options.
This unit has every right to run as they see fit under their chartering organization and troop committee. I just believe they’ve misplaced their priorities. JMO, YMMV...
That’s unfortunate
He has participated in EVERY sales event held by the troop since he joined about 6 or 7 weeks ago. They have done something nearly every weekend with exception of the last camp outing he had to miss. That is how they are expected to raise money for the camp trips. Still held as they have been for decades.
As for “breaking his heart”, this is something he has wanted since he was about 5 years old...and this was the first time he was told he could join even if money was an issue. He is a hard worker and does MUCH MORE than he should considering he has Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lymes disease that the doctors tell him is permanent. He works hard around the house as well as for the troop and for the church. He is an A/B honor roll student and is involved in Advanced Placement (AP) classes in the 6th grade.
So, HHM...I’m not making excuses, he has a full plate, and I’m just trying to help him get uniforms so he can attend a camp outing and get some benefit for his hard work.
And T-bird, I appreciate your comments also, especially coming from someone with experience in the topic. I am not sure how other troops in the area conduct themselves in regards to clothing requirements for campouts, but this is the only troop I am aware of in our area as it was another scout that invited my son to attend a meeting where we found out he could go without it costing me for his dues and fees. They thought they might have more uniforms in the troop closet that would fit him, they were wrong. The lady who told me I would have to have 3 pair of troop approved shorts as well as the t-shirts and formal troop shirts and approved socks is the mother of another scout. She is quite bossy and very strict...but I guess her word is “gospel” in RE: the campouts.
Also send a letter to the District about how your boy missed a WEEKEND camping trip because he didn't have 3 uniforms and uniforms socks and as an unemployed parent, you need a more inclusive and thrifty troop
Meanwhile your kid needs to get a JOB to pay for his supplies - pet sitting, plant sitting, light spring clean up yard work, making and selling rope woggles to sell at craft fairs or .....
Thank you for the advice about the “bossy” mom. She is exactly that! She says she has uniforms for EVERY DAY of the trip and she expects the others to also. I will have to find out who the district contact is and make friends with them so maybe they can help with what he needs. Thank you so much again!
If you are so new to the troop I would be careful about narking on the “bossy mom” You have already made it clear that you are unable to help the troop. In most cases the “bossy mom” is actually the one who steps up and pulls things together and covers for all the other parents who can’t help or just plain don’t want to. If it wasn’t for bossy moms most of these programs would fall apart. Personally I think you should figure out a way to offer something on your end... like maybe altering uniforms or sewing on patches before you alienate your kid.
Would the SM let you have a phone or email list so you could send out your own plea before the camping trip? The newsletter is a pretty out of date concept these days.
You sound like you could probably be the “bossy mom” figure in your hometown...as your posts sound very judgemental. I help when I can, I have gone with my son while he walks the neighborhood trying to sell camp cards, even though the walking hurts like crazy due to a botched back surgery. I have been in constant pain since the surgery in November and for the prior 2 1/2 years waiting for something to be done.
I sat for over 5 hours in front of a store this weekend while my son participated in selling camp cards. I have helped when able, I just dont have reliable transportation to get far or to go every time.
I’m not a seamstress, I can work a sewing machine...but I don’t believe I am good enough that I could alter clothing for the troop. So, are you done judging me and willing to offer suggestions that will help or can you find the door?
I wish you had posted this sooner as I’m not sure if this will help in time.
If you would like to Freep mail me your address I would like to send you some money to buy the uniforms. I live in MD so even if I put it in the mail tomorrow not sure if you’d get it and be able to cash it.
When my boys were younger, my oldest was on the large size, so I know it’s more expensive. I was a single parent at the time, with little money, but I had family to help.
Anyway, let me know.
Actually I am not the “bossy” mom because I am usually in awe of all the work and time the “bossy mom” puts in. I have dealt with my fair share of moms/parents who just make excuses and have their hand out for someone to step in and take care of their kid and usually they are Dems. You say you walked around and tried to sell “camp cards”...if that wasn’t working why not try another tactic? Most people are thrilled to see a kid show up and offer to do work in exchange for money to pay for a wholesome activity. People just want to see a little initiative and know their money is well spent. I know I may sound harsh but conservatives have the world watching them. By training our kids to be different and self sufficient we make a statement to the world that we are not on the dole.
Maybe just look at this temporary problem of lack of funds for uniforms as an opportunity to brainstorm about making money as a family. Remember that God created the universe so He surely can open up opportunities for his children to clothe themselves and maybe even have extras left over to bless another family in need.
You obviously don’t know much about the boyscouts if you are willing to suggest he do something that is strictly forbidden by the organization...not to mention, selling the cards was working just fine, it just doesn’t help him with the supplies. He is to NEVER go to someone’s house without being on the buddy system (parents are able to fill in for the buddy if need be), and they are NEVER to enter the home. They also have to be in uniform while doing activities that are scout related.
So, I suggest if you don’t know the rules of the organization, maybe do your own research before implying I am a Dem and suggesting he do things that would get him in trouble with the scout leaders.
(foggy screen ;-)
Send a FReepmail if you'd like them for another time .. they're obviously not BSA at my age (khaki & dark green).
I was a scout for a long time and will always be grateful it.
Will also echo what others have said re that list being waaaay too long for a weekend trip .. that's maybe some perfect someone's idea of the full Monty for a trip to Philmont.
Lots of good suggestions in here, esp re getting touch with the regional BSA office re the 'list' being bandied about as 'mandatory'.
They'd probably appreciate knowing if some local 'mama' is keeping boys away with made-up 'rules'.
I have to say that I sort of sense you would just like people here to send you some money.
Seems to happen every few months.
Obviously you thought that you would be 100% supported in your plea for a hand out. Sorry that I am not on board with the begging program. You have made every excuse in the book rather than take responsibility for a rather innocent request that your kid have a couple scout uniform pieces in place to participate in an activity. You even balked at spending $4-$5 on used pieces. Personally I gave you multiple sure fire ways to raise money but you chose to make excuses. The final request I would make is that you don’t use the “God Bless I am a single disabled mom” line when you are looking for a hand out. It just brings ridicule down on the heads of other Christians.
“That is a week long camping pack list, not a weekend trip”
You can say that again. 5-8 shirts for a two night weekend trip?
One uniform, two shorts, maybe an extra long pair of pants, two shirts, two underwear and two pair of socks and a jacket would be plenty unless hiking a lot then bring extra socks.
To use up all the clothes on the original list the kids would have to be changing clothes 3 times on Saturday.
PING to Sandy for help!
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