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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 03/29/2013 5:38:53 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day
When : Always March 29th
Smoke and Mirrors Day is a day of illusions. The term "smoke and mirrors" means something is not really as it appears to be. People often put up smoke and mirrors to hide something.
This day is also referred to as the Festival of Smoke and Mirrors. We did not discover an actual festival of this nature. But, who needs historical facts to have fun an a special day? Let's get out and enjoy Smoke and Mirrors Day to the fullest.
A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.
"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine. "Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?"
"Yep." "Were there any survivors?" "Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."
"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked Well," the farmer
grumbled, restarting his tractor."He kept a-saying he wasn't...
But you know how bad that sumbitch lies...*
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; ofst; silliness; smokeandmirrors
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To: ArGee
61
posted on
03/29/2013 8:26:02 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
62
posted on
03/29/2013 8:37:58 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: Lucky9teen
63
posted on
03/29/2013 8:38:17 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: Lucky9teen
64
posted on
03/29/2013 8:39:35 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: ArGee
65
posted on
03/29/2013 8:41:51 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: N. Theknow
Godwin knows about the internet ?
66
posted on
03/29/2013 8:54:58 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
To: Larry - Moe and Curly
3) While waiting in the cattle stalls at Space Mountain, start mooing.
I have done #3. Surprising how quickly it caught on.I read that some WWI British troops bleated like sheep as they boarded the transports.
67
posted on
03/29/2013 8:55:18 AM PDT
by
Oatka
(This is America. Assimilate or evaporate.)
To: BenLurkin
68
posted on
03/29/2013 8:56:28 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: llevrok
69
posted on
03/29/2013 8:56:54 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: envisio
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, “I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I’m not leaving until I get it.”
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.
He asked, “Do any of the girls have any diseases?”
Of course the Madam said no.
He said, “I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT’S the girl I want.”
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.
He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, “Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?”
He said, “Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant for dinner, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he’ll jump the baby-sitter’s bones, and he’ll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE’S the sumbitch who ran over my FROG!”
70
posted on
03/29/2013 8:59:12 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
To: envisio
71
posted on
03/29/2013 8:59:14 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
To: Lucky9teen
72
posted on
03/29/2013 8:59:46 AM PDT
by
MarineBrat
(Better dead than red!)
To: Lucky9teen
73
posted on
03/29/2013 9:02:39 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
To: Lucky9teen
74
posted on
03/29/2013 9:03:17 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
To: MarineBrat
What’s your point?
If they have cute legs, who cares about their silly hats? :)
75
posted on
03/29/2013 9:03:38 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: envisio
Did somebody say Donkey Kong??
76
posted on
03/29/2013 9:04:59 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Piffle....)
To: ErnBatavia
77
posted on
03/29/2013 9:14:37 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: envisio
78
posted on
03/29/2013 9:20:44 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
To: llevrok
hey, ats what I’m tall bout.
79
posted on
03/29/2013 9:25:18 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: llevrok
I'm Smarty Cupcake
80
posted on
03/29/2013 9:27:33 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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