Posted on 12/15/2012 7:09:08 AM PST by no-llmd
I offer this Foolproof Christmas Shopping Strategy for Guys who need to get serious now that we have only two shopping weekends before Christmas.
Guys have a natural aversion to shopping in general and malls in particular. Malls have millions of gift items on the shelves and this causes guys a massive problem when attempting to select that perfect gift for a significant other.
I have analyzed this problem and have developed a solution that will work well for any guy regardless of budget or last minute time constraints.
The strategy is based upon a category system. With millions of items on the shelf guys need a way to simplify the quest and categories are a great simplifier. The following are only a few:
Category 1: Hobbies, areas of interest, sport pursuits, etc: If your significant other has a hobby, then this is a gold mine for the perfect gift, a no brainer. If she enjoys gardening, bowling, birding or cooking, you are a lucky guy; any gift here is a winner, because you care.
Category 2: Professional endeavors: If your significant other is a doctor, lawyer, or union associate, for example, the perfect gift will jump into your shopping cart whether it is a stethoscope, a briefcase, or a new set of brass knuckles
Category 3: Mini Vacations, Getaways: This is a hot area and a natural winner with long term returns. A weekend in NYC with dinners and shows, a ski trip, the islands, a few days in Atlantic City, all will score big points. She will love you throughout the year.
Category 4: Jewelry: Nuff said.
Category 5: Perfume, Candy, Flowers, Day-at-the-Spa: Good supplemental gifts.
Category 6: Technology: With iPads and iPhones and GPS’s you can pick a winner with your eyes closed.
Category N: etc, etc, etc.
The best way to be a hero is to select three Categories and portion your budget in a way where one category will be the primary and the two remaining will be supplementary categories. Try a 60, 20, 20% split.
Don’t over think this. Try to have fun with it. The object is to do a little planning first so your mall time is minimized. Don’t forget, all gifts to a significant other may be, and probably will be, returned. Remember you are a guy and for a guy it is the thought that counts. Be thoughtful, your return on investment may be joyous.
With this Foolproof Christmas Shopping Strategy for Guys you will score big points and be able to enjoy many hours guiltlessly watching sports every weekend throughout the year.
Well you haven’t been a Freeper for very long, but I bet that you have been married a very long time to a happy lady.
Bwhahahahaahaha! The old ones have blood evidence on them er, got dirty.
My strategy has always been to go at the Last Minute.
You don’t waste a lot of time Shopping.
And, it gets done because it HAS to get done.
Of course, now, I do ALL my shopping on the Internet.
Indeed.
Females like baubles. Dunno why. They just do.
So I often find myself buying baubles for them...
Golux’s Rules for casual (Hannukkah and Christmas) giving:
1. Never, ever, but EVER give toys that a) make noise or b) require batteries to children. It is a rude thing to do to their parents.
2. Socks really are a perfectly good gift to give a fellow man. Especially work socks or gold-toes. Real men like high-quality, practical things.
3. Women appreciate your NOT foisting your tastes upon them. High-quality olive oil? Some non-perfumed handmade facial soaps? (ANYTHING perfumed is a no-no.) A modest assortment of high-quality chocolates? All winners.
The End.
Here is a much better list:
I know I’m in the minority, but my husband loves to shop (online these days) and has done all of the Christmas shopping since we got married 27 years ago. His dad did it when he was a kid, so I guess that’s where he got it from. He also does all the cooking, including for Christmas. Right now he’s in the kitchen making cookies to send to his 93 year old mother. How in the world did I find this guy, lol? I think I’ll keep him!
It’s like what fishing gear is to men.
Real men want ammo for Christmas. A case of their favorite(5.56, 6.8SPC or 7.62x51) should be sufficient.
“Females like baubles. Dunno why..”
To look good for you, silly. With respect to perfume though... only buy her brand. We women are quite particular about our perfume. Now... buying for men? I’ve always gone with power stuff. Wet/dry vacs, cordless drill, chain saw... if it makes a VRRRRRRR noise, it’s a winner.
I was thinking of giving her a full set of camo bedding, with flounces, shams, the whole bit.
But now, I’m not so sure.
No, no, you’re good. But make sure you also get her that deer antler lamp
“Real men want ammo for Christmas. A case of their favorite(5.56, 6.8SPC or 7.62x51) should be sufficient.”
Just in case the Bride or the kids are reading this thread...
So true! Lol.
But a nice shiny new buckknife under the Christmas Tree will put a smile on my face too...
Regarding your tag line: Yeah, especially when you see a later reply to the deleted post that says something like, “YEAH!! Boy did you hit the nail on the head. Agree 100% BUMP!”
Then I really wonder :)
“I was thinking of giving her a full set of camo bedding...”
Or even better.. how about a new iron. Maybe a few cans of Pledge and some new dust rags. I guarantee she’ll love them /s!
Linky no worky
Not all of us like baubles. I don’t wear jewelry. I tell Mr. b, as if he can’t see, but he doesn’t listen. Jewelry is an old fall back like y’all thinking a box of chocolate and a bunch of flowers will magically get you out of trouble.
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