Posted on 11/09/2012 4:33:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang.
He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened.
When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
"Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?" she replied.
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
Test post....to see if the “Time Out” dealt me by JimRob is over yet.
Nope. Return to your corner and continue your timeout. :-)
Nice warning...
Ever sit in the first few rows of a plane?
I hope the time out wasn’t for multi-posts.
I agree with what I believe is your time out post. Romney generated 3 million votes less than McCain for a reason and there is no doubt that voting for Romney, or even against Obama, was discouraged here for over a year - even in the primaries.
As Rush stated - it’s like if one has facing cancer and is faced with a choice of going for a 70% cure or waiting for a nonexistent 100% cure - the wait can kill you.
Senior Sex
The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.”
Yes, she says, “I remember it well.”
OK, he says, “How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?”
“Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?”
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
“Fifty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.”
Peggy Wise thought #624: A rising tide lifts all boats. Unless you have tiny little boat and fat person like Lev jumps into it. Then you are in trouble.
That's funny, right there.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!
I thought you were going to say the cop saw an old guy trying to stuff a raw oyster into a piggy bank
Very cool on the aircraft. Note the right rear landing gear being ejected forward! It had just enough attachment to swing around and be flung.
Do you know of a good video source for that test crash?
That actually looks like a stretch of the old Highway 91 (pre-I-15) in Utah, south of Nephi.
Of course, the Rhodie is WAY out of its territory!
No so, she sez, on the far side of 60... ;o])
There’s a lot about the big jets I don’t know, but I can’t imagine any pilot doing a soft field landing and just putting the nose down that way. On a soft field, you hold the nose up as long as you can, which means the plane is going much slower when it finally comes down.
Of course, thanks to the movie “Flight,” we now know that the best way to fly a plane that is in trouble is higher than a kite.
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