Posted on 12/12/2011 6:07:47 PM PST by TSgt
No ****, there I was...up to my eyeball's assholes in plastic BBs, with airsofters as far as the eye could see.
OK, in reality, my company, Evolved Tactical Systems, had a booth at an expo held by Evike as a part of their parking lot sale this weekend. As we're showing our wares, I spy a young man in Marine Corps Charlies shuffling by my booth. Now, I was in the Army, not the Marines, but sometimes, you just know what wrong looks like. And this kid was wrong as two boys ****ing in a church on Sunday. I give chase. Dork is wearing a shirt that fits poorly and looks like he slept in it. His trousers aren't the right color of green. Belt is non-issue and goes halfway around his waist. Shoes look like he picked them up at a Payless sale. Then the kicker: he's wearing 2LT bars, with 4 rows of ribbons...TOPPED OFF WITH A SEAL TRIDENT! I engage..in conversation.
"Hey buddy, you in the Marines?"
The turd responds, while trying to decide if he should stand at attention or parade rest, "Uh, yes sir, I am sir."
"Who are you with?"
"Uh, the 331st Marine Expeditionary Unit at Camp Pendelton, sir."
And here I thought the only 331st out there was the Logistical Studies Group out at Ft Griffith. Guess you learn something new every day, right? I go for the head shot:
"So what was your BUD/S class number? Who was your swim buddy?"
"Oh, uh, I didn't go to BUD/S, but I'm assigned to SOCOM, so we get to wear the Trident."
Being the kind, Christian man that I am, I give the sinner a chance to repent.
"Are you sure you want to stick with that story? Nothing you want to change?"
"No sir, that's the truth."
"Well, here's the problem: You look like ****. Your uniform is ****ed up like a soup sandwich. Everything below your waist isn't even issued. I think you're a ****ing poser, and I think you're trying to score some free ****. You're lucky the police are over there (San Gabriel PD was just behind us, watching) or you would probably be in the middle of an ass whipping right now."
His response was the definition of weak sauce. "Uh, I'm sorry you don't believe me sir, but that's the truth."
"Really? Prove me wrong. What's your name? I'll call down to the admin office aboard Pendelton and confirm you're assigned there."
"My name is Sam Jackson, sir." I almost asked if he spoke English, but I was on a roll.
"OK, Sam Jackson, let me see your CAC card."
"Oh, we don't have to carry those when we're off post, sir."
"Bull****. Prove me wrong about everything and show me a CAC card that says you're a second lieutenant."
At this point, the Clifford from Evike pulled me away from our poor, mistreated child. Apparently, a crowd was gathering. I guess I was a little loud. Clifford asked me to step back and let him handle things, which he did in a much more professional fashion than I was capable of. The **** bag was kicked out, and now his pictures are getting posted everywhere I can manage. Speaking of which, here are the pictures:
Full Shot (my back is to the camera)
Close up of his ribbons
Yes, this ****head is wearing a mini-SEAL Trident, along with a Silver Star as his SECOND highest award (for those not in the know, the only awards that rate higher than the Silver Star are the Distinguished Service Cross {Navy Cross for USN personnel} and the Medal of Honor). Here's his complete list of ribbons, in the ****ed up order he's wearing them:
Marine Corps Reserve Ribbon (obsolete 1967) - Silver Star - Meritorious Unit Citation (Navy/Marine) - Joint Service Achievement Medal National Defense Service Medal - Afghanistan Campaign Medal - Navy Rifle Marksmanship Ribbon - Combat Action Ribbon (Navy/Marine) Navy Pistol Marksmanship Ribbon - Iraq Campaign Medal - National Defense Service Medal #2 (for a double dose of pimpin) - Army Overseas Service Ribbon Selected Marine Corps Reserve Medal - Global War on Terrorism Service Medal - Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal - Navy & Marine Corps Overseas Service Ribbon
Someone here has to know who this poser is. It is my mission in life to see him banned from every field possible, from every event possible, and from every team possible. I have no time or tolerance for posers, and especially not for ones of this magnitude. Apparently, he lives in the SGV area, and he likes to shop at Evike. Word is he plays at Tac City. Let's burn this ****er down.
He returned to said store today, and an employee confronted him. He posted this later for our entertainment.
"He came to the store today. I talked to him. Approached him as someone who was inquiring about him and his uniform. He told me he was part of the THIRTEENTH Marine Exp. Unit. He says he just recently retired and was attached to a SEAL unit during his career. I really was out of words cause it sounded like such bull****. I informed him I was joining Navy Special Warfare, and was just wondering about his service. He was really stumbling with his words and was very nervous. He was not wearing the uniform today."
Efforts are being made in the Socal Airsoft community (which contains quite a sizeable amount of ex-.mil) to make sure this ****er never shops, plays, or even breathes airsoft again.
Every time I see that photo I want to vomit.
If I had seen that in person it would have taken every ounce of my will power to not beat the living crap out of him, and I am not a violent person.
I was a zoomie (just a cook, actually, last time around), and I didn't get get more than 2 1/2 rows of ribbons (including the 'I didn't get arrested in the last 4 years' one)... But...
Even I know that the left side of the ribbons must line up. Right side can go under the lapel, or whatever... but there shall be a gig-line along the left edge of the ribbons.
Maybe the Supremes believe stolen valor is protected speech, but we, the people, can out them and shame them.
/johnny
lol - I knew that pic would be on the thread if there were more than 10 posts.
I’d actually “bump” him so hard you’d hear rattles
Yeah, and the green Dockers pants with the belt that just keep going around.
The star on his one award is upside down. His trousers don’t fit. And, his butter bars are misplaced.
And I’m AF and don’t know shTT about the USMC.
Is it even a misdemeanor any more? I think I read some court threw that out on 1st Amendment grounds. I hope I’m wrong.
That is weird. I always thought it was against the law.
There's so much that is screwed up here that I wouldn't know where to start.
I would've made him eat asphalt.
I’ll join you. What a putz. Is that a SEAL insignia over his ribbons? The Navy needs the Marine Corps for many many things, but SEALS is not one of them.
holy #$#$!
look at the fruit salad on that guy!!
Yes, Stolen Valor was thrown out, but that pertained to awards and decorations. This shitbag's lieutenant bars should still have him criminally liable under 18 U.S.C. § 912 (Impersonating an officer of the US) if he tried to leverage any gain, benefit or advantage from representing himself as such.
I hear ya...start with the t-shirt. Shouldn't it be a vee neck? Wait...when I got out in 87 it was crew neck, after it was vee neck because crew neck caused the Jordan bacon neck....
...all this from the same Corps that had us wearing white crew necks with cammies for awhile and then going to a green crew neck that turned brown when you washed it...God, I miss that...(non /s)
I know, I know--I sound like a mom. My boy really is going into the Marines this spring. The only reason he's survived high school and made his life a good one is that two US Army officers have kindly guided him during his teen years. Yelled on him a lot, but they helped him out. Otherwise he might be a jerk like this dumb kid.
he’s doubly good so awesome that he’s already accomplished becoming a LT with all those ribbons all under 4 years. Note no good conduct ribbon (solid maroon).
pls tell me that's not really somebody trying to pull a fast one... he doesn't even look old enough to have a ROOF let alone the rest
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