Posted on 11/20/2011 3:29:07 PM PST by floridarunner01
Michael Gaynor, 25, completed his bachelors degree and certification to teach elementary and high-school physical education in May 2009, then set out during a recession to find that dream job.
Over the next two years, the quest would take him from substitute teaching and respite care work in Iowa, back to his parents home in Skokie; to Florida, where he waited tables, then back to Skokie; to Colorado as a substitute teacher, coach and camp counselor, then, back to Skokie.
My moves back home were always transitional. They allowed me to save up money, not having to pay rent and utilities, says Gaynor, who got a new job and moved out from his parents again last week.
A U.S. Census Bureau analysis earlier this month found that nearly one of every five young men in their mid-20s through mid-30s are either moving back home with their parents or never left.
The report, Americas Families and Living Arrangements: 2011, found 19 percent of American men age 25 to 34 living in their parents homes the highest level since 1960.
Only 10 percent of women in that age group were living at home with parents.
(Excerpt) Read more at suntimes.com ...
Actually, things would have to be pretty darn bleak before I would have moved back in with my Mom. Maybe temporarily.... but believe me, I would have taken the first job offered to me. That being said, my Mom told all her kids that they “always had a back door” (meaning for whatever reason... bad marriage, loss of job etc) you had somewhere to go.
I think you’ve described it pretty well.
You are the perfect example of why it works when there are rules. Your son obviously is busting his hump (unloading trucks and long shifts). He is helping with the chores and doing his own laundry. There is nothing wrong with close family ties. It makes us a lot stronger IMHO.
“But Mooommm, that’s not fair’.
That should be written down in the rules. No complaining when Mom tells you to get up in the morning or take your feet off the coffee table. LOL!!
Loss of blue collar work is the reason for a lot of the disparity. Construction, manufacturing, trades, etc.. all were gutted over the past decade.
Women almost always go for white collar work. Nursing, dental assisting, paralegal, etc. And those jobs have not been hit (although I think it’s starting to become saturated in some locations).
Also more women than men are graduating from college. In 1970 the wife made more than her husband in 1 out of 25 households. Want to guess what that number is today? 1 out 4. Women have closed the wage gap in a massive way.
It will be interesting to see how society handles all this. Because by the next generation, women will be making more money than their husbands if the trends continue.
Maybe it’s different in other regions of the country, but here in the rural south you can spot Depression-era constructed houses due to them having two front doors. The two doors allowed for some degree of privacy for extended family living under the same roof.
You did what you had to do to get by, and you helped your own whenever and wherever you could. It’s no different now, when you get right down to it. I’m not going to criticize someone who had to move home due to job loss or inability to find one in the first place, and I’m not going to criticize parents who take them in. It’s better than their being on the dole or living under a bridge somewhere, isn’t it? Or turning to crime.
The parents allowing these “Kids” to move back home are nothing but liberal enablers. They’ll get by on their own. I doubt there is anywhere in this country where they can’t get a job at a Fed EX warehouse, etc. but these jobs are beneath “mommy’s little darling”. Make these kids grow a pair, it will do them good to live on ramen noodles for a few months.
I’m not going to criticize the parents or younger ones either. Face it... our economy is horrible. If someone loses a job because the company downsized or closed up... no fault of the person. It is much better, IMHO, to have not only the financial support while someone needs it but the emotional support as well. I guess I’m a big “You reap what you sow” type person. If you help your kids when they are down... hopefully, they will help you if or when you are down. It’s what family use to be about... I sort of hope that it still is.
I was at a parenting conference on Saturday and the guy was talking about this. Having to do with the “Social Capital” around the kids today.
The gist was being an adult means you know who you are in your core. Thousands of years ago you had a tribal network where the village DID raise the child. And one went from being a child to an adult - no adolesence, as their entire life they had a large group of people saying the same thing and telling the same stories, etc.
Later on, with more influences, but fewer true, deep, social contacts the kids became more confused on “who they are”. For most of us at the conference (35 and older) he said we became adults at 18 to 20. (He is talking about the average group physchology). In contrast, my grandmother born in the 1880’s was an adult at 16 when she came to America alone and not knowing where she was going.
The guy wrote a book in 2001 and the research showed average “adult” age was mid-twenties.
He put the book out again last year, and said things have changed so much (more research, changing social patterns, etc.) that he had to add three chapters. And now much of the research indicates “adulthood” is into the 30’s.
And he said it wasn’t just the person’s family - but that the entire society around them is what is extending it.
And he did warn that the social and economic upheavel that we are going through and that is still to come is going to make it even harder for our kids to deal with “growing up”.
I suspect all the replies about jobs being easy to find and they’re just too picky are coming from people who have not experienced the way things are now, haven’t experienced it yet at least. I have, and my neighbor is right now, with resumé after resumé after resumé sent out and not one face to face interview all year long, just two phone interviews and no offers to show for daily scouring of every online site, the state ESC office, you name it, she’s tried it, never been unemployed in her life until now. She’s fighting despondency by volunteering at the foodbank and her church, and has taken in her brother who also lost his job. He can’t get unemployment benefits, he was self employed. I worry for them.
So a FedEx warehouse worker makes enough money to live on their own?
This is part of the problem with many people here. You seem to think $10 an hour is enough to live on.
Maybe in 1980 it was. Not today...not without government assistance unless that’s what you are advocating. Would you rather these kids live on welfare?
It is very easy for someone (with a job) to tell someone else how easy it is to find one. Well, it isn’t. My brother was unemployed for about 8 months. You are right.. resume after resume. Most didn’t get an interview and the few that did... the people were lined up out the door. Fortunately, his wife had a job (although it was decreased from 40 hours to 32). Yes, I did tell them that if they needed help... I could decorate the basement into an apartment. I also watched their child when both were gone. What’s the saying? ... when someone else loses a job it is a recession, when I lose a job, it’s a depression. Prayers for your neighbor and her brother. They sound like good people.
>>And now much of the research indicates adulthood is into the 30s.
And he said it wasnt just the persons family - but that the entire society around them is what is extending it.
And he did warn that the social and economic upheavel that we are going through and that is still to come is going to make it even harder for our kids to deal with growing up.<<
Lord, what will adulthood be in a few years? The 50s? No wonder the Nanny Government is making such huge strides: everyone needs their mommies.
It may not necessarily be the families, but a strong set of family values, including independence and self-respect, has GOT to be a major factor in stopping this malaise.
Mine is renting some of the lower floor of my house. Because he was in the builing trades, he lost his house, truck and job when the housing market crashed in CA Central Valley. Thank goodness he’s single. He got a local job, but the pay is terrible. He is gradually recovering. My son-in-law, also in construction, had to take a job with a 2 hour commute at half the pay. They have three kids.
“My daughter is getting her degree in education at an accelerated rate. My sister-in-law is a teacher. Neither are dummies.”
No one said they were.
However, it is factual that in most universities, the bottom 10% of the IQ spectrum IS found in the education department.
True for the education department faculty.
True for the education students.
1981 my pay (and my future wife’s pay) was $3.35 an hour = 8.25 in 2011 dollars.
Take home pay for my wife and I was about $850.00 per month. We didn’t have internet, cell phones, car payments. Rent was $300 a month at the time. Long distance phone calls were a luxury, eating out was a luxury.
We didn’t mooch off of our parents. We didn’t have much spare money, but we weren’t dumpster diving either.
If one person can’t live on $10 an hour today, surely two people could. Find a room mate.
You brought up a great point about rent and location. I checked out some of my areas lowest rents: Wheaton has 1 bedroom apartment for $1540, $1119 and $1250 per month. NOTE: these apartments are in the mostly illegal section of my county. Crime is definitely an issue. Your neighbors in the apartment building won’t speak much English. Welcome to Maryland.... /s
In Italy, children living with their parents is a way of life. The daughters get married off, the sons move back in, or stay in the first place. If they are all happy and it works, so be it.
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