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Cucumber Shoplifter Plunges to Death
The New Age (South Africa ^ | Oct 17 2011 | Itumeleng Mafisa

Posted on 10/19/2011 1:14:39 PM PDT by nickcarraway

A man who had stolen a cucumber jumped from the second floor of a shopping mall in a bid to escape his pursuers and unfortunately plunged to his death.

Shocked shoppers at the Southgate Mall watched in horror as the man lay dead on the ground floor.

Police said the man was detained by security guards at the mall after he was caught stealing a “farm-fresh green cucumber from Woolies”.

“He was then detained by security, in the control room and later the police came to pick him up. On the way out, the suspect then threw himself off the top floor, and died on the scene,” said police spokesperson Bert Otto, who couldn’t believe the situation himself.

Otto said the identity of the “cucumber thief” was yet to be determined.

Tshepo Nkwana, 21, who was out shopping with friends, said the sight of the dead man lying on the ground was traumatising.

“I had never seen anything like that, we were just strolling around the mall when we heard the sound of something falling on to the floor.”

“When I took a second glance and the floor was covered in blood, we saw there was a man on the floor. That’s when everyone noticed and ran to see what was going on,” he said.

Molatelo Shai an employee at the mall, who witnessed the fall, said the man died a sad death.

“How can someone sacrifice their life for a vegetable?” asked Shai, who works for Nedbank.

Minutes after the fall, the photo of the dead man was circulating on social networks across the country.


TOPICS: Food; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
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To: Deaf Smith

not another cucumber death, what’s the count up to?


21 posted on 10/19/2011 1:40:40 PM PDT by brivette
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To: nickcarraway
“How can someone sacrifice their life for a vegetable?”

Someone, somewhere will take this on as a mantra....

22 posted on 10/19/2011 1:41:06 PM PDT by mikrofon (Veg-end)
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To: nickcarraway
“How can someone sacrifice their life for a vegetable?”

Maybe the boy was a fruit?

23 posted on 10/19/2011 1:45:27 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: Slings and Arrows

“Life’s pretty cheap to that sort.”


24 posted on 10/19/2011 1:45:51 PM PDT by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: nickcarraway
I'd say the cucumber made him do it.
 
class=rg_hi


25 posted on 10/19/2011 1:47:00 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS! This means liberals AND libertarians (same thing) NO LIBS!)
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To: nickcarraway
Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap?


26 posted on 10/19/2011 1:49:46 PM PDT by pogo101
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To: nickcarraway

Got himself in a real pickle..........


27 posted on 10/19/2011 1:51:08 PM PDT by Red Badger (Obama's number one economics advisor must be a Magic Eight Ball.................)
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To: eastforker

Nope, they are European/English Cucumbers.........


28 posted on 10/19/2011 1:52:29 PM PDT by Red Badger (Obama's number one economics advisor must be a Magic Eight Ball.................)
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To: Slings and Arrows

At least he didn’t impale himself on it. It would have added insult to injury.. I mean death.


29 posted on 10/19/2011 1:54:52 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: nickcarraway

In one day he went from cucumbers to squash....


30 posted on 10/19/2011 1:55:19 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Red Badger

My cucumbers never looked like that.They looked more like a zuchini.


31 posted on 10/19/2011 1:58:43 PM PDT by eastforker
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To: Doogle
"Did someone say cucumbers?"...
32 posted on 10/19/2011 2:00:43 PM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: martin_fierro; JoeProBono

According to his diary, which was scrutinized by police investigators, the dead guy was told to do this *by* the cucumber.

Thanks nickcarraway.


33 posted on 10/19/2011 2:09:34 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (It's never a bad time to FReep this link -- https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: Trillian

He died with dignity. And a cucumber.


34 posted on 10/19/2011 2:13:14 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: nickcarraway

Could have been worse. Could have been squashed or gourd to death.


35 posted on 10/19/2011 2:16:25 PM PDT by Larry Lucido ("#Occupy America" is a great success! I got mail today addressed to "Occupant"!)
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To: nickcarraway

A Darwin award winner? I’d vote for him.


36 posted on 10/19/2011 2:23:18 PM PDT by OB1kNOb (The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. - Prov 22:3)
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To: Revolting cat!

“Who’s in charge of the cucumber PING list here?”

I believe that would be Barney Frank.


37 posted on 10/19/2011 2:38:37 PM PDT by Towed_Jumper (There are only two classes of people left in the U.S. - Producers and Parasites.)
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To: nickcarraway

In a choice between death and “cucumba bunga”, he chose death...


38 posted on 10/19/2011 2:40:38 PM PDT by FDNYRHEROES (It's 3 AM. Let me sleep on it. I'll get back to you in 16 hours.)
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To: nickcarraway

His Gerbil had died.


39 posted on 10/19/2011 2:41:28 PM PDT by xrmusn ((6/98) If govt involved, the more outlandish a scheme appears, the truer it probably is.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

A Kooky crook copping a cuke then croaks and now is getting cooked and thats the crux of consequential kaput.


40 posted on 10/19/2011 2:42:21 PM PDT by tflabo (Restore the Republic)
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