So, I went back to my natural color.
The nose ring is a big plus - because I can change it with every holiday!
Now that I have figured it out, I may get hired as Dean of Celebrations at the college!
I am among the 99% that failed with blue hair.
Posted on 10/08/2011 11:57:36 AM PDT by matt1234
By now, most of you have seen the pathetic testimonials of self-described 99%ers at sites such as wearethe99percent.tumblr.com. Let's have some fun by writing parodies and posting them in this thread. I'll start in reply #1. (Pictures optional.)
love it.
You will NEVER win the parody contest!
That bumper sticker is dead accurate!
I’m a reasonable man.
I’d settle for a large goat.
Hi, my name is Kim. I have 2 children and live in a very nice apartment, it costs too much but I’m not about to live where they don’t have a pool, work-out room and spa.
I left my hardworking husband because I just needed to enjoy my life. I’ve found the boyz in da hood and they know how to show a woman a good time but life has been hard for them and none of them have jobs.
I have gone bankrupt once but I still have those student loans to pay back so now I’m back in school to get my master’s and if they keep asking for payment I’ll have to go on to get my Phd.
Even with my degree I haven’t been able to get ahead and have had to work 4 hours a day, 4 days a week as a waitress for 10 years. I did have a full time job once but I tried to sue them when I tripped on the stairs and they fired me!
I only get $300 a month in food stamps and can hardly afford to feed my kids dinner every night, thank goodness they eat breakfast and lunch at school.
I’m getting my degree in education so I can work in the schools, I like the schedule and the pay and benefits are pretty good, the only real problem I see is that I HATE children, I don’t even like my own. My daughter is always whining that she only sees me a couple hours a week and I say good, you are learning to be independent. A lot of kids your age don’t know how to cook and clean and do laundry.
I am the 99%
I have a Flow-Bee.
later
So, I went back to my natural color.
The nose ring is a big plus - because I can change it with every holiday!
Now that I have figured it out, I may get hired as Dean of Celebrations at the college!
I am among the 99% that failed with blue hair.
Maybe [Mrs] T and I can get some cheese. Funny stuff, glad you added your impotent post.
[Mr] T
I DIG that Seasonal Nose Ring!
I, like, thought, like going to college for , like, forever would, like, do some good so I could, like, have the cash and the time to, like, enjoy life because, like, you know, we are all just like the polar bears, you know, going to be , like, swimming around and gonna be eaten by, like, an orca or whatever or maybe a big jellyfish like I saw on TV once sting a guy and, man, it looked like is was really super painful and all that gets me so depressed that, like, I have a hard time getting up at 10 or 11 every morning to go to my job at White Castle where, like, they say I’m not a candidate for like a manager’s position and - shit I need a bigger piece of cardboard for my sign! Man, I am the 99% but I’ve like never been good at decimals so I don’t like know if that puts me in the big group.
I actually wrote that in 2005, but updated the “Protest march” verse for the latest idiot crowd. Glad you like it! :-)
Well DONE, Buford.
Hello. My name is Dwayne Stump.
Weekends are for drunks. Do drugs.
I am the 99%
Go f*** yerselves, capitalist running dogs.
I want have sex w Christy Canyon , win the lotto, get obama out of office, and meet Metallica.
I am the 99 percent.
Hi, my name is Dynamite Hack
Cuz the boys in the hood are always hard
Come talkin’ that trash and we’ll pull your card
Knowin’ nothin’ in life but to be legit,
Don’t quote me boy, I ain’t said s***
I am the 99%
Peace out
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.
I am the 99%.
-PJ
Hi, I am Satan.
I’m organizing all these protests with my puppets George Soros and Barack Obama, so that I can finally, through communism, bring America into the Dominion of Hell!
I am the 99% ... or is it the 666%?
Tell God I still don’t want to move back up there.
My name is Tasmanian Sicko Rube
I am the keeper of PING lists. I don’t have time for a job to pay back my student loans that financed my getting stoned and drunk in College. Scoring a D- average in my major was worth it, however.
I am the 99%
PING!
(funny stuff in this thread right here!)
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