(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[Lucky9teen]

Get out the Checker Board. Today is Checkers Day. So, do you want the red checkers? Or, the black ones?

It may surprise you to know that it is also Dogs in Politics Day. Read on, and I will explain the connection.

Origin of Checkers Day:

In 1952, Richard M. Nixon was a candidate for Vice-President of the United States, running with Dwight D. Eisenhower.  Media speculation centered around an $18,000 campaign contribution, and speculation that Nixon may have used some for his personal use.  In a brilliant political maneuver, Nixon took his case to the American people.

On September 23, 1952, Richard Nixon gave a speech that directly addressed and explained the issue. He assured the public that he did not use any of the funds for personal use. Towards the end of the speech, he stated that his daughters had received a dog, which they named "Checkers", as a gift. He said they would keep the dog.

This speech quickly became known as the "Checkers" speech, and went on to be one of the better speeches in American political history. 

With "Checkers" the dog included in the speech, this day was sometimes referred to as Dogs in Politics Day

Bow-Wow

Cats are Republicans and Dogs are Democrats

"I know it may be upsetting for many of you to discover the animal you cherish is of the opposite political party.

Would former President Bill Clinton ever be able to admit to himself that the late Socks was a Republican? Could Democrats ever bring themselves to forgive Checkers, the dog – and a Democrat – who belonged to Richard M. Nixon and whose mention in the famous 1952 “Checkers speech” helped save Nixon’s political career?

When cats are born, they believe they are in a state of liberty, and from then on they are determined to keep it that way. No one tells them what to do. They don’t believe it takes a village, because they know they might have to take instructions from the village idiot in the local government.

And, sorry if you’ve got one and you’re a Republican — but dogs are liberal Democrats. Some are possibly Socialists, though probably none will ever admit it.

Dogs are communal by nature. They run in packs. They dream of their days as wolves, sharing responsibilities.

Sure there’s a pecking order – an alpha, a beta and a zeta. It’s only humans who pretend that egalitarianism levels the playing field entirely.

Unfortunately, this instinct to subvert their personal welfare to the good of the whole also makes dogs easy to control. Big brother, in the form of their human masters, creates laws and executive orders that dogs slavishly abide.

Canines want rules and regulations to follow. If you could teach them to read and talk, they’d be carrying Mao’s Little Red Book and citing its verses.

They show little initiative. A dog is not particularly entrepreneurial and would never start a small business. If he did, he’d let you tax it at confiscatory rates — as long as you gave him a treat.

The best you can do with a dog is train him to work on an assembly line, doing the same trick, time after time. He’s a natural proletarian, waiting for his union card to come through.

Dogs will also happily take a government job.

Dogs were very excited when President George W. Bush created the Department of Homeland Security. They were more than ready to sniff for bombs or protect secure government sites, that sort of thing. One even signed up for the raid that took out Bin Laden.

But dogs also want to save the world generally. They’re bleeding heart liberals.

Some, you may have noticed, are community organizers, herding sheep and other creatures of the field into groups for the betterment of their welfare.

Many dogs eagerly sign up each year for government programs to assist the blind. And who ever heard of a cat running into burning building to save their owner?

Which brings us back to cats.

Have you ever tried to get a cat to do something? Anything at all? Out of pure principle, they will reject your command — even if they know full well it will benefit them.

Because above all else, above even their personal welfare, cats value freedom.

How else to explain that cats will spend all day looking out the window, but then if you put a leash on them to take them out, they’ll drop to the floor and scowl at you as if you were worst thing possible —perhaps an auditor from the Internal Revenue Service.

While we’re on the topic, cats would never pay taxes. Taxes are for suckers, they’d tell you.

But put a leash on the dog, and he’ll happily trot out the door and go wherever you take him.

This is really why cats hiss at dogs – not because dogs chase them.

My cats watch me endlessly throwing a tennis ball for my border collie – supposedly the smartest dog – and sneer with contempt. Such mindless obedience to a task. Such desperation to please. Disgusting.

Unlike dogs, cats have not had the ability to hunt breed out of them. I mean dogs can hunt, but only to chase their prey up a tree.

Cats finish the job. They are natural proponents of the Second Amendment. If they could get their paws around a trigger, they’d shoot to kill. Dogs are born skeet shooters - fishermen who throw their catch back in the lake.

What’s more, cats would gladly enforce the death penalty. Particularly for dogs.

Cats favor a foreign policy that is so assertive they sometimes need to be declawed. Dogs run together in a U.N.-style “dog park,” where they willingly submit to an overseeing body of owners whom they charge with keeping the peace.

But cats are to the left of dogs when it comes to the environment. Just watch how they carefully cover up their business in their sandboxes, keeping everything fresh and nice. Dogs will – how shall we say – pollute right in your front lawn.

This doesn’t make dogs Republicans or cats Democrats. It just means that sometimes they can see the other side’s point.

Which of course makes them each wiser than their elected representatives in Washington.

 

I have two 3-year-old female Chesapeake Bay Retriever hunting dogs, Lucy and Cassie.

My dogs sleep about 20 hours a day.

They have their food prepared for them.

They can eat whenever they want, 24/7/365.

Their meals are provided at no cost to them.

They visit Dr. Dan or Dr. Mel once a year for their checkups, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For this they pay nothing and nothing is required of them.

They live in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than they need, but they are not required to do any upkeep.

If they make a mess, I have to clean it up.

They have their choices of luxurious places to sleep.

They receive these accommodations absolutely free.

They are living like queens, and have absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of their costs are picked up by me, living on just my retirement and Social Security.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head.

Holy Mackerel, my dogs are Democrats!

20 Most Recent Presidential Pooches (& Other Pets)

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

Would Laz smurf it?

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

dun mes wif kitteh...

[CSM]

I finally have a joke to contribute!

Q: What do you call 2 friends standing next to a hooker?

A: Support ho’s.

[Lucky9teen]

How annoying....for some reason the hyperlink didn't work when I posted the thread:

20 Most Recent Presidential Pooches (& Other Pets)

[Lucky9teen]

[Ellendra]

And who ever heard of a cat running into burning building to save their owner?

My cat probably would if she were big enough. Once I was laying on the couch because my neck hurt, and dad was doing some repairs in the basement. He accidentally set off the smoke alarm and couldn't shut it off again. My cat went crazy, running around meowing her little head off. Then as she was turning a corner she saw me still laying on the couch (I knew there was no fire, so I just covered my ears and ignored it), and she stopped, looked back at where the alarm was, looked at me, ran up and started pawing at my face and meowing in my ear, trying to wake me up! When I patted her on the head and told her everything was fine, she shrugged, she literally shrugged, and curled up on the pillow beside me, with the alarm still going off! It was as if she decided that if I wasn't worried, she shouldn't be either.

She's done this kind of thing before, and it still amazes me.

[Slings and Arrows]

Laz would smurf it until it smurfed.

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

I know I’d smurf it eight ways from Smurfday...

[FrogMom]

Smurf it until it was... blue? ;)

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

Kittehs lubs dere hoomins. Sometimes they just have odd ways of showing it.

[Lucky9teen]

Cat loses his love and tries to save her

[sunny48]

Where’s The Manager
http://youtu.be/1wP81Tl34wg

[sunny48]

During a recent password audit by Google,
it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento”

When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said:
“Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters
long and include at least one capital.”

[Slings and Arrows]

What color does a smurf turn if you choke him?

[sunny48]

I was reading an article the other day that showed pictures of the different Presidential Libraries. It told how they contain all the pertinent information about the respective presidents. All of their history before their nominations, the campaign papers and memorabilia, all of the papers from their presidency, and so on. A wealth of information about the man and his life both private and public. That got me to thinking, what would Barack Hussein Obama's presidential library look like and what would they archive in it? Just exactly what would the design parameters be? This is what I came up with: 1. It wouldn't need to be very big because there are no records to archive from before he was president and everything he does as president is either done in secret, so dumb no one will admit to it, or a lie. 2. It would have to be very mobile because by the time he is done as president, no city or state will acknowledge that he ever even visited let alone originally came from there. Plus if the general public ever caught up with it... 3. Construction material would need to be easily maintained by minimal staff. Preferably something that could be hosed out occasionally and left to air dry. 4. It would be a good idea if It was a dual use facility so that it could at least get some sort of appropriate use. Below is what I came up with as the perfect answer to all of the above: The Barack Hussein Obama Presidential Lyingbrary

[Mr. Impatient]

Just thought I'd leave this here.

Might not be safe for work. I think.

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[Responsibility2nd]

The Barack Hussein Obama Presidential Lyingbrary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To correctly honor the legacy of Barry’s administration - they will call it the Lie-Barry.

Makes perfect sense, right? Now the only question left is where to put it?

In Kenya or Indonesia?

[mainerforglobalwarming]

I’ve been very depressed this year. The state gop is throwing away a golden opportunity to get Maine back on track. But I’ve decided thar ole jimmy-lit-drop is going to have some fun, And I’ve started an Obama joke of the day scrapbook. most are awful but this one is funny.

ISN’T IT AMAZING THAT THE MAYANS KNEW OBAMA WOULD BE
PRESIDENT
WORLD ENDS 12/12/12

If Not Sooner

God Bless everyone from LePage country.