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Michigan Yoopers Declare War on the U.S.A.
Email | 7/18/11 | Some Yooper somewere eh?

Posted on 07/18/2011 3:49:15 PM PDT by bigbob

Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Obama?" a heavily accented Yooper voice said. "This is Sven, up here at Olie's Bar and Steak House in Bruce Crossing, Michigan. I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, my cousin Olie, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Pine's Bar. That makes eight."

Barack paused. "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Sven. "I'll have to call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Sven?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two 4-wheelers, a snowmobile, and Harry's trail grooming machine."

President Obama sighed. "I have tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Sven, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day, "President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Olie's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Sven that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Oh Lord," said Sven, "l'll have to call you back."

Sure enough, Sven called again the next day.. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dayoop; yooper; yoopers
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To: ml/nj
WTF is Gujarati?

It's Urdu written using the pre-Islamic alphabet.

21 posted on 07/18/2011 5:20:53 PM PDT by reg45
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To: cripplecreek
When my great grandfather came here from Austria he was required to speak enough english to work.

Why wouldn't they let him speak Austrian?

22 posted on 07/18/2011 5:23:53 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: dfwgator
Why wouldn't they let him speak Austrian?

Because America was smarter back then.

We've been doing a lot of digging into family history lately and recently got copies of some of his immigration paperwork. This part is his renunciation of his Austrian citizenship (Astrio-Hungarian)

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23 posted on 07/18/2011 5:29:47 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: cripplecreek

Here is the current citizenship oath I just found on Wikipedia:

I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.

Apparently you are allowed to drop the “so help me God” and you can say “affirm” in place of “oath.” The “anarchist” and polygamist language should have been left in for the communists now among us and the muslims who want shariah, which includes multiple wives.


24 posted on 07/18/2011 6:00:20 PM PDT by Sioux-san
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To: Sioux-san

I’m assuming the oath that you don’t believe in polygamy was a means of weeding out muslims. It was unlikey that many Mormons were coming from Europe and that leaves Muslims.


25 posted on 07/18/2011 6:07:57 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: Spartan79

Don’t remember that one.... Was it open in early 70’s ?


26 posted on 07/18/2011 6:38:29 PM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
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To: cripplecreek

not sure what you are saying, CC - I realize that the polygamy prohibition was originally directed at the Mormons, who no longer practice polygamy. Muslims coming into this country may be bringing multiple wives - who knows.


27 posted on 07/18/2011 7:07:12 PM PDT by Sioux-san
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To: Sioux-san

That’s why I’m thinking it would have been a means of keeping muslims out. Mormonism was born in America so they wouldn’t have been likely immigrants into the country. And as you said, polygamy was already fading among them by 1912.


28 posted on 07/18/2011 7:15:06 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: Springman; sergeantdave; cyclotic; netmilsmom; RatsDawg; PGalt; FreedomHammer; queenkathy; ...
MICHIGAN PING LIST

Please freepmail me if you wish to be added or dropped from the mitten ping.

29 posted on 07/18/2011 10:18:30 PM PDT by grellis (I am Jill's overwhelming sense of disgust.)
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To: bigbob

It was funnier when Dubya was in the White House..... more believable anyway. (Barraq Ubama would not be so congenial to Americans who take after his mother’s side of the family)


30 posted on 07/18/2011 11:39:32 PM PDT by YankeeinOkieville (Obamanation [oh-bom-uh-nay-shuhn] n. -- ignorance and arrogance in the highest offices)
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To: Squantos

Don’t know about the 70s; my work at Kincheloe was in the 80s, 90s after the AFB closed (did some contract work for the state at the Kinross Correctional Facility that opened at Kincheloe in 1978, after the base closed).


31 posted on 07/18/2011 11:41:09 PM PDT by Spartan79 (I view great cities as pestilential to the morals, the health, and the liberties of man.)
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To: ml/nj

It’s political correctness gone wild.


32 posted on 07/19/2011 2:26:46 AM PDT by exnavy (May the Lord bless and keep our troops.)
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To: Spartan79

Yeah I was there when SAC was up an running full speed. B52’s , kC135’s an F111’s....

Heard they sold the barracks area an made a prison area out of it an the rest was turned into commercial enterprises.

I still have a cabin at lake Ogidaki in Canada up on the ALgoma railroad out of SSM I share with family. Haven been in about 2 years. Brother an his family spend more time there than I do.

Is the old gun shop still in or near kinross called Tommys ?

I can’t recall exact location but this old guy had the best collection of old an new in the world !

Enjoyed my time there.

Stay safe...


33 posted on 07/19/2011 3:16:29 AM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
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To: crz

“I got a little tidbit for you. During the 2000 election debacle, there actually was a group from Republic that were all packed up and armed and ready to go to Florida. I heard the local wisemen talked them out of it.”

I can believe that. I lived in the western UP for a time. There’s some hardscrabble boys in the UP. Lots of combat vets who are crack shots and can live off the land. And a number of sheriffs up there are constitutional sheriffs who strongly support the 2nd amendment.

The winters, though, are long and boring.


34 posted on 07/19/2011 4:56:46 AM PDT by sergeantdave
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To: crz

Say Yah to da Yoopee, eh?


35 posted on 07/19/2011 7:51:03 AM PDT by gigster (Cogito, Ergo, Ronaldus Magnus Conservatus)
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To: bigbob
Keep in mind that upper Michigan are majority of registered liberal democrats who voted overwhelmingly for Jenny Granholm and Obumbum!

Just to set the record straight!

36 posted on 07/19/2011 8:13:58 AM PDT by paratrooper82 (We are kicking Ass in Afghanistan, soon we will be home to kick some more Asses in Congress!)
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To: jenk
Michigan ping! I call honorary yooper!

Up North you're called a Yooper but if your from Detroit, you're called a Loafer.

37 posted on 07/19/2011 8:17:59 AM PDT by dragonblustar
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To: Squantos

Don’t know about the gun shop; haven’t been up to Kinross in years.

My wife and I almost bought a lot on Whitefish Bay, 30-40 miles from Kincheloe (across the bay from the Sault), but the sale fell through. Frequently regret not finding something else in the area; our address would have been Paradise, Michigan. Nice country.

Be safe yourself. Come back & see us more often,


38 posted on 07/19/2011 8:54:16 AM PDT by Spartan79 (I view great cities as pestilential to the morals, the health, and the liberties of man.)
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To: bigbob

Michigan troll to Yoopers: Bless you! Fight for the water! LOL

(Dear Yoopers, One question—Michigan or Michigan State?)


39 posted on 07/19/2011 10:30:24 AM PDT by madison10
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To: sergeantdave

“The winters, though, are long and boring.”

Man have you ever got that right. A person can figure 7 months up on the north shore and the south shore isnt to bad. That side is similar to Green Bay and all. I spent 12 years in the Munising area-about 200 inch a year average and 14 years in the Marquette area which is about the same...unless a person lives right in Marquette along the Lake shore. There it isnt too bad. The worst of the worst is the Copper Country up around Calumet-there are only two other places in this country that gets as much or more snow than there. Buffalo NY and the Sierras.
When I lived around Munising, I actually had a few winters where I couldnt look out the windows because of the snow I shoveled off my roof had banks higher than the windows. Want to know what cabin fever is like? People havent any idea.


40 posted on 07/19/2011 2:15:32 PM PDT by crz
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