Posted on 06/18/2011 8:15:53 PM PDT by TheDingoAteMyBaby
I remember laughing my head off at this piece about ten years ago. My daughter was only three back then....
For some strange reason, this piece now looks more like an operations manual to me, than humor.
(just kidding - sort of. I still laughed, but I think just like this now)
I always liked the sequence from Uncle Buck when John Candy explains to his niece’s boyfriend about the hatchet,the shovel, and the bag of lime in the trunk of the car.
bump
Well, my father in law was a gun guy too. But I don't believe he kept any in the house, they were at his parents farm. In any event, although my wife and I dated a couple of times in high school, I never met him until the summer before college, and at that point the family lived a few thousand miles away. However HE is the one who turned me to the "Dark Side".
Until I started shooting with him all I had was a shotgun, a 20 gauge at that, and a .22 rifle and I'd gotten that because I was tired of buying .22 shorts for HIS father's Browning .22, which I would shoot when I went to the farm. (As an aside, those were the days when you had to show picture ID and sign a log. That PO'd me, so I'd use my military ID instead of a DL)
After I started shooting with my FiL, I got a .22 handgun (S&W 422).. then traded in the 20ga for a 12... Followed by 3 centerfire handguns, another .22 handgun, and 4 centerfire rifles. All are semiautos, except the 12 ga, which is a pump and was the gun I was cleaning when the Beast came to pick up my daughter. :)
Why did Grandpa only have a .22 short rifle? The way he shot, it was all he needed to take care of most any pest, including squirrels way up in the walnut trees, and racoons in the garden. He, and his son (my FiL), and both grandsons (and one great grandson that I know of) were/are deadly accurate shooters. Grandpa would shoot walnuts out of the air. I miss him still.
I read in a science fiction book by an author whom I will not disclose unless asked to, the daughter sent a topless picture of herself to her boyfriend of the same age. When the mom found out she was outraged and showed it to the father who shrugged it off. The fathers response was to have the mother how to talk with her daughter about safe sex and to use a condom. I could not believe the author wrote that and I stopped reading it. If I were the father, that phone (as well as the boyfriends) would go in the fire and I would drive to the phone carrier and “convince” them to remove it from the Internet.
Technology cuts two ways, though. These days I might offer to loan the kids my vehicle. You know the one with ON-STAR? The one where the ON-STAR folks can tell you the exact location and the speed it's being driven and oh yeah, the ability to kill the motor and lock all the doors so the occupants cannot leave?
"Hello, ONSTAR? Where are they? Oh, they're at the beach when they're supposed to be studying at the library? And the engine is currently running right now? Yeah, just kill that engine and lock the doors. I'll be right there."
Thanks for the oldie but goodie. Reminds me of a time I went to pick up a girl for a date. Her Dad was cleaning his rifle in the living room, and I told him I didn’t know that particular model came chambered in that caliber. Turned out he’d had it made that way.
He really liked me, which was the kiss of death as far as the girl was concerned.
Yeah, most dad's really loved me and nearly all moms hated me because they saw me (correctly) as the man they'd always warned their daughters to be careful of -- but didn't quite know how to articulate that feeling without causing undying alienation.
That's why I'm sooooooo certain that God has a sense of humor, because he gave me a DAUGHTER that is a stone cold, drop dead knockout in the looks department. Brains too. So my nightmare that was her high school years was pretty horrific. I lived in dread of the young man who would one day knock at our door and who would remind me.... of....ME.
best idea, no dating until they are 18
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