Posted on 05/26/2011 9:00:50 AM PDT by Hotdog
- Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why do they call two planes almost colliding a “near miss”?
If nobody has seen God, what do the Jehovah’s Witness?
Shouldn't telephone psychics call you first?
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope.
“We’re surrounded!” — Steven Wright
Props to George Carlin. RIP.
Why do Hot Dogs come in packages of 10 and Hot Dog Buns come in packages of 8???
Why is a light switch labeled “On” and “Off”? When its on you know its on. When its off you can’t see to read it anyway!
Why do we drive on Parkways and park on Driveways?
We stretch out our faces to put on mascara in hopes of getting our cheeks away from our lashes until it dries so we don’t end up with little black dots on our faces from the edges of our lashes.
Why do they call it an ‘adult bookstore’?
There is no one reading, and there are no books. Most of the people in there are not grownups.
We stretch out our faces to put on mascara in hopes of getting our cheeks away from our lashes until it dries so we don’t end up with little black dots on our faces from the edges of our lashes.
That’s what they make duct tape for...
My kids are in college.
When they ask questions like that, I have learned to ask, “Do you really want to know?” They usually don’t.
Well.....do ya?
Why do they call flights that land at your destination “non-stop?”
Why do they call things in outer space asteroids and things on your @ss hemorrhoids?
Why is asphalt not the name of a rectal problem?
Because they are mentally ill, not the criminals but liberals
I met the famed psychic, Jean Dixon, on a street in Washington DC when the dogs we were walking stopped to greet one another. She asked, of my dog, "what's her name?" and I had to mightily resist asking the sweet, elderly seer just that question. Heh heh -- YOU tell ME!
Why is the person in charge of a polling place called a clerk and the people working under him or her called managers?
Personally, I make it a point to never ask anything about what a woman is doing or why. But that's just me.
Why does Hawaii have an interstate highway?
Why did Mike Dukakis get in that tank?
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