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Source: CVN-69, to be commissioned in 2019, will be named USS Barack Obama
Liberal Lunacy ^ | 5/14/11 | Liberal Lunacy Staff/REM

Posted on 05/14/2011 10:57:02 AM PDT by GeorgiaDawg32

(Washington, D.C., 5/14/11) In an announcement quietly released on Friday evening, it was announced by an anonymous source within the administration the Navy's newest aircraft carrier, currently designated CVN-69 and scheduled for commissioning in 2019 will be called the USS Barack Obama.

The statement read in part, "A president such as Barack Obama, will be dutifully and respectfully honored by having CVN-69 named for him. His courage, honor, honesty and ability to effectively lead this nation through hard times brought upon us by previous Republican administrations to unparalleled prosperity and record numbers on government assistance ensuring thousands of federal government jobs are the hallmarks of a great President deserving of every accolade which can be given.”

“We are also pleased to announce that CVN-69 will be “manned” by the first all gay crew on board a U.S. Navy vessel in honor of Obama’s commitment to allow gays in the military. We will be making some adjustments to the vessel in order to ensure a happy gay crew such as a small wedding chapel in the rear of the ship as well as double-wide bunks that can easily accommodate up to 3 sailors. The crew’s lounge will be renamed the “Frolic Area” and will be in the rear next to the wedding chapel. Other adjustments are under discussion such as an onboard florist and a hair stylist.”

"One last thing, CVN-70, scheduled for commissioning in 2023 is tentatively named the USS Michele Obama."

Developing..


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: humor; obama; satire
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1 posted on 05/14/2011 10:57:08 AM PDT by GeorgiaDawg32
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

A usual friday gubmint Big Sh!tty!!!!!

A bit late...


3 posted on 05/14/2011 11:03:57 AM PDT by gunnyg ("A Constitution changed from Freedom, can never be restored; Liberty, once lost, is lost forever...)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

The USS Michelle Obama would have a pretty wide stern.


4 posted on 05/14/2011 11:05:07 AM PDT by stbdside
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Is this the carrier they were originally going to name the USS Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell but later changed the name to the USS Nobel Peace Prize?


5 posted on 05/14/2011 11:05:45 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer ("...that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,..")
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Thank goodnesss this is satire. For now.


6 posted on 05/14/2011 11:06:00 AM PDT by HereInTheHeartland (Those who endured Valley Forge didn't make their sacrifice to give us free health care)
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To: stbdside
The USS Michelle Obama would have a pretty wide stern.

Still wouldn't be able to go through the Panama Canal even after doubling the width.

7 posted on 05/14/2011 11:09:08 AM PDT by immadashell
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Maybe it won’t fire a shot or sink on its first day.


8 posted on 05/14/2011 11:09:47 AM PDT by Jonty30
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

CVN-69 is the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower, “Big Ike.” My dad’s old boat.


9 posted on 05/14/2011 11:09:47 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Obama's "Gutsy Decision": Who's gonna tell the fool that he ain't cool?)
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To: Tax-chick

I know. I caught that after I posted. My fingers didn’t work so good..:(


10 posted on 05/14/2011 11:12:52 AM PDT by GeorgiaDawg32 (A well armed lamb will contest the vote)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

They will save a lot of energy from the new reactor because crew members will simply volunteer to launch even the heavist aircraft using only projectile vomit. Saves over a billion in un-needed systems on the carrier.


11 posted on 05/14/2011 11:16:07 AM PDT by ICE-FLYER (God bless and keep the United States of America)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

12 posted on 05/14/2011 11:24:05 AM PDT by Doogle ((USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

It will be useless. The captain will call for a starboard turn and it wil turn to port, always.


13 posted on 05/14/2011 11:25:36 AM PDT by VRW Conspirator (Multiculturalism made us tolerate the intolerant, and now intolerance is annihilating tolerance. -GW)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_aircraft_carriers_of_the_United_States_Navy

TOTALLY BOGUS STORY, YANK THIS THREAAD!!!


14 posted on 05/14/2011 11:34:48 AM PDT by RaceBannon (Ron Paul is to the Constitution what Fred Phelps is to the Bible.)
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To: RaceBannon

Always... always ... always look at KEYWORDS! Look for the word satire!


15 posted on 05/14/2011 11:49:20 AM PDT by missnry (The truth will set you free ... and drive liberals Crazy!)
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To: stbdside

It has to be , She makes accomodations for the biggest A-Hole ever to be President.


16 posted on 05/14/2011 11:57:16 AM PDT by Waverunner (I'd like to welcome our new overlords, say hello to my little friend)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Would they paint it pink like the sub in the movie “Operation Petticoat?”


17 posted on 05/14/2011 12:01:12 PM PDT by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: missnry

Are you accusing me of just scanning the first paragraph and not readin the entire article at the link??

Well, just because that’s true...Oh, all right...I repent! :(


18 posted on 05/14/2011 12:05:01 PM PDT by RaceBannon (Ron Paul is to the Constitution what Fred Phelps is to the Bible.)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Lemme guess. It’ll be able to launch jets, but they won’t be able to return to the ship.... ever.


19 posted on 05/14/2011 12:05:13 PM PDT by b4its2late (Ignorance allows liberalism to prosper.)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

To be worthy of its namesake, the Captain, XO, and the division czars will be political appointees, exempt from the UCMJ.

The crew will be thrice the size of what’s necessary.

All the officers and petty officers will have to kick in a tax to pay for all the non-rates (even after the non-rates PCS to another ship or station or are discharged).

It will have difficulty launching aircraft from a deck more suited for putt-putt golf.

Brazil will build it because their labor is cheaper, and we don’t want to be racist.

It should terrify our enemies when it goes to sea, but will actually spend most of its time in dry dock because it will be managed like the city of Detroit.

It should have a fine progressive war record.


20 posted on 05/14/2011 12:22:10 PM PDT by Salvavida (The restoration of the U.S.A. starts with filling the pews at every Bible-believing church.)
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