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Posted on 04/30/2011 10:02:07 PM PDT by JustAmy
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I don't know of anyone who tires of peanut butter and something! Jelly, bananas, pickles, whatever flavors they enjoy! Personally, I enjoy it on rice cakes as well!
Hope your day goes mah-vah-lus-ly! :)
LOL!!
And you, as well!
Off to water therapy today!
Always feels sooooooooooo good! :)
Weinie
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
NICE :^)
Nice one
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
Can't beat that one! :)
” Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer “
I’ve only blown that one 1,667,441 times........
Ahhhh...I see you're one of the quiet ones! ;)
;-)
Me too :^)
“Makeup Routine”
Every morning, a little girl would go in the bathroom to watch Mommy as she was putting on her makeup to go to work.
But this certain morning when Mom turned to leave the bathroom, the little girl loudly said, “Mom, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper goodbye!”
“Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher”
You are probably an elementary school teacher if:
~ You ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home.
~ You move your dinner partner’s glass away from the edge of the table.
~ You ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends.
~ You hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes.
~ You declare “no cuts” when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line.
~ You ask “Are you sure you did your best?” to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction.
~ You sing the “Alphabet Song” to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.
~ You say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything.
No it can’t be beat. :^)
Illustration
“Self-Righteous Perceptions”
A man sees another leaning against the wall of a large building. The second man is puffing away, one cigarette after another.
The nonsmoker says, “Sir, I couldn’t help noticing how you chain-smoke. How many packs do you smoke a day?”
“Four.”
“How long have you been smoking?”
“Thirty years.”
“That’s over six thousand packs. Why, if you didn’t smoke, you could have saved enough money to buy this building.”
The smoker takes a deep puff and says, “Do you smoke?”
“Never.”
“Do you own this building?”
“No.”
“Well, I do.”
Oh dear....I’m not a teacher but several of those have my name on them! *snicker*
DOG FOR SALE
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: Talking Dog For Sale
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says “So, what’s your story?”
The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.”
“I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.”
“Later, I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“Ten dollars,” the guy says.
”Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff.”
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