Posted on 04/29/2011 5:32:59 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.
It’s the 75th anniversary of the introduction of Social Security checks. For the younger viewers who don’t know what a Social Security check is, you’ll never see one in your lifetime, so don’t worry about it.
The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.
The price of coffee has hit a 34-year high. Except at Starbucks, where coffee has always been at a 34-year high.
10. Was born at a luau
9. Parents crossed out original choice for first name, "Gary"
8. Is a triplet, born with sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley Obama
7. Also released as an audiobook read by John Lithgow
6. It's covered in poi stains
5. Claims he's a baby when Obama is clearly an adult — It's a forgery!
4. Under "Conspiracy?” They checked "No"
3. Document notarized by Magnum P.I.
2. Note reads "To be released only at the request of crazy-haired blowhard billionaires"
1. Fine print at bottom: Not an actual birth certificate
President Obama finally showed his birth certificate and it turns out he was born in Hawaii, of all places.
President Obama released his birth certificate today, proving once and for all that he was born in the United States. Yep, the certificate clearly shows that he was born on the all-American street of Kalanianaole Highway at the Kapiolani Hospital in Oahu.
Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama’s birth certificate to make sure that it’s real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump’s hair.
After releasing the birth certificate today, he said 'There's work to be done, there are real problems in this country, and we don't have time for this silliness.' Then he and Michelle got on a plane and flew to Chicago to tape an episode of Oprah.
President Obama released his long-form birth certificate yesterday. So we found the birth certificate. Now it's on to bin Laden.
A new poll shows that President Obama's approval rating is down to 41 percent. A lot of people that voted for him now say they liked him a lot better when he was a Democrat.
The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That's a long trip for Joe Biden.
Donald Trump says he's President Obama's worst nightmare. That's not true. Having to make a decision is Obama's worst nightmare.
The Federal Trade Commission says for the 11th year in a row the biggest consumer complaint is identity theft. Which led President Obama to say, "That's why you should never show ANYONE your birth certificate.
Prominent people are coming forward to attest to President Obama's American citizenship. The Governor of Hawaii just said he first met Obama just days after he was born. He knew it was Obama, because he kept pointing to his diaper and calling for change.
Ewwww, that’s just sick!
I can honestly say that this is a first for me. I’ve never imagined that someone could be interested in how their own butt cheese tastes.
His Birth Certificate abstract says he wasn’t born on a plantation. Reparations are out.
One sunny day in February 2013 an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he’d been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.’
The Marine looked at the man and said, ‘Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.’
The old man said, ‘Okay’ and walked away.
The following day, the same man approaches the White House and said to the same Marine, ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.’
The Marine again told the man, ‘Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.’
The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approaches the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.’
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, ‘Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama.
I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?’
The old man looked at the Marine and said, ‘Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.’
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, ‘Yes Sir! See you tomorrow.’
"Champagne wishes and caviar dreams!"
"Champagne wishes and caviar dreams!"
"I say, Phillip, the best thing about today is that those insufferable Obamas were absent!"
"Hear, hear, Elizabeth... though I understand they sent home movies from their latest holiday as a wedding gift!"
Put the champagne down and step away.
You’re posting double;)
World’s Shortest Books
THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
by Barack Obama
____________________________________________
MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
by Tiger Woods
____________________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan
Illustrated by Michael Moore
________________________________________
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
______________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillar y Clinton
_________________
Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
_________________
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates
____________________________________
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________
GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
by Amelia Earhart
__________________________________
HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
by Dr. Jack Kevorkian
__________________________________
TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O’Donnell
____________________________________________
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson
__________________________________
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________
HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
by Ted Kennedy
_________________________________________________
MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
with introduction by
the Rev. Jesse Jackson
*******************************************************
AND , JUST ADDED:
My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
by Nancy Pelosi
Why I Love American
by Barak and Michelle Obama
The queen looks lovely.
We have someone occupying the White House ( likely by fraud) who could take some lessons from her.
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