Posted on 04/29/2011 5:32:59 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.
It’s the 75th anniversary of the introduction of Social Security checks. For the younger viewers who don’t know what a Social Security check is, you’ll never see one in your lifetime, so don’t worry about it.
The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.
The price of coffee has hit a 34-year high. Except at Starbucks, where coffee has always been at a 34-year high.
10. Was born at a luau
9. Parents crossed out original choice for first name, "Gary"
8. Is a triplet, born with sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley Obama
7. Also released as an audiobook read by John Lithgow
6. It's covered in poi stains
5. Claims he's a baby when Obama is clearly an adult — It's a forgery!
4. Under "Conspiracy?” They checked "No"
3. Document notarized by Magnum P.I.
2. Note reads "To be released only at the request of crazy-haired blowhard billionaires"
1. Fine print at bottom: Not an actual birth certificate
President Obama finally showed his birth certificate and it turns out he was born in Hawaii, of all places.
President Obama released his birth certificate today, proving once and for all that he was born in the United States. Yep, the certificate clearly shows that he was born on the all-American street of Kalanianaole Highway at the Kapiolani Hospital in Oahu.
Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama’s birth certificate to make sure that it’s real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump’s hair.
After releasing the birth certificate today, he said 'There's work to be done, there are real problems in this country, and we don't have time for this silliness.' Then he and Michelle got on a plane and flew to Chicago to tape an episode of Oprah.
President Obama released his long-form birth certificate yesterday. So we found the birth certificate. Now it's on to bin Laden.
A new poll shows that President Obama's approval rating is down to 41 percent. A lot of people that voted for him now say they liked him a lot better when he was a Democrat.
The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That's a long trip for Joe Biden.
Donald Trump says he's President Obama's worst nightmare. That's not true. Having to make a decision is Obama's worst nightmare.
The Federal Trade Commission says for the 11th year in a row the biggest consumer complaint is identity theft. Which led President Obama to say, "That's why you should never show ANYONE your birth certificate.
Prominent people are coming forward to attest to President Obama's American citizenship. The Governor of Hawaii just said he first met Obama just days after he was born. He knew it was Obama, because he kept pointing to his diaper and calling for change.
IBTP?
4?
Top 5
(Why do we not hear about how well, or poorly, zero plays golf?)
The AARP Negotiates with the USGA to Modify the Rules of Golf for Seniors!
Rule 1.a.5
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall grass which groundskeepers failed to mow.
Rule 2.d.6 (b)
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.
Rule 3.b.3 (g)
There shall be no such thing as a lost ball; the missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty.
Rule 4.c.7 (h)
If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supercedes the Rules of Golf.
Rule 5.
Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.
Rule 6.a.9 (k)
There is no penalty for so-called “out of bounds.” If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule 7.g.15 (z)
There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers’ shortcomings.
Rule 8.k.9(s)
Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impracticable for many senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.
ping
FUBO!
FUMO!
FUOW!
I cannot wait for November 2012!
But glad to be here!! Woohoo!!!
Above the fold!
Top 12?
LOL...great gif!
Where did this come from and how was it done? Did this idiot really do this???????? Or is this as phony as his birth certificate?
Top 20?
Top 20
And renounced his US citizenship also.
top 20! TGIF
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