Posted on 03/15/2011 9:44:34 AM PDT by MissTed
Parents across the metro area, in different school districts, have similar stories to tell when it comes to the way their children were treated after reporting they were bullied.
“The other kid jumped in and had the boxcutter up and threatened to stab her over and over again,” Tina Williams said. “And he said, ‘I wouldn't stab a girl, but I'd stab a b**** and I'm looking at one right now,’ when he looked at my daughter.”
“At lunch I am kind of afraid that they are going to threaten me again,” said Williams' daughter, Kayla.
“She's heard jackass, b****, moron, loser and they put the "L" sign on their forehead and call her a loser, pulling her hair, spitting in her hair,” said Naomi Armenta describing how her 7-year-old was bullied.
The Williams and the Armentas are two families with children at two schools on opposite sides of the metro area, but their stories are equally concerning.
They are young girls, one 12 and one just 7 years old, repeatedly bullied.
Parents Say School Tells Daughters To Change Behavior
Their parents are all frustrated it is their daughters who have been told to change their behavior.
"She was told that she needed to keep her distance so basically the school told her that she needed to wait on one side of the hall and let them go through and stay away from them," said Williams.
“My daughter went to the bathroom and one of the bullies was in there and took a pencil, the metal end, and scraped her chin, cut her chin. The administrators were questioning whether or not my daughter had permission, first of all, to even be in the bathroom. Then, second of all, they questioned my daughter as to why she stayed there if a known bully was in the bathroom already,” said Armenta.
Blame the victim, avoid the bully.
It is something author and bullying prevention expert Dr. Ben Leichtling has heard from parents and seen first hand over and over again, in schools across the nation.
“What we need are laws that not only define bullying, that not only require schools to have policies and programs about bullying, but have consequences for principals and administrators who do not take action. That's what’s going to change the problem. We want teeth in a program that will enable us to easily protect the majority by removing the few that need to be removed,” Leichtling said.
Legislators Introduce Bullying Bill
Colorado legislators took a step in that direction last week, introducing a new bill that will broaden the definition of bullying to include written and verbal assaults, require schools to report bulling in greater detail and recommend schools survey their students every two years.
“School should be a safe place where kids can go and excel and learn to do reading, writing and math and not have to worry about fear of intimidation,” said District 30 House Representative Kevin Priola.
“Most importantly, there is research showing that when there is a high level of safety, the CSAP scores go up. Conversely, low safety, CSAP scores go down. This bill is going to raise the awareness of our school boards and our administrators that this has become a serious problem and our bill asks or encourages every school dist to do a climate survey. What's the cost? Who has time to do that? But, it’s critical. If you're going to have a safe environment, you probably want to know if your climate is safe according to your students,” said Wheatridge Rep. Sue Schafer.
The bill is being considered by the Senate.
These families believe their districts already have clear policies to protect their kids.
“Do you feel like the policies are being followed?” asked Call7 Investigator Theresa Marchetta.
“They're not,” Williams said, “They’re not even following their own handbook, let alone the bullying policies.”
“I think we are putting ourselves out on a limb for all the kids out there that are facing this same issue,” said Armenta.
I know it is tiresome when old folks start out, “When I was young . . . “, but threats of lawsuits and the wimp culture adopted by teachers has come to the point where the situation is close to hopeless. For young kids, the bullies need to get slapped up along side the head by the teachers. Of course that is “physical abuse” and will not come back, at least in my lifetime. Next best is to expel the bully but that just moves the problem to the streets where it is ignored by the cops until someone is killed and, even then, it is ignored in some neighborhoods. Home school if you can, if not, keep in the face of the school officials and hope your kid is tough enough. I have no hope that the parents of the bullies will admit any problem. Hell, the are likely proud to have an tough kid.
As a teacher, this is a really difficult problem, because kids are smart enough not to do this in front of us. So when it comes to my attention, I have two kids both pointing at the other, saying, “No, Miss, SHE’S the one who...” and both of them have their eyes as wide open as they will go. And I don’t know who started what or who is lying.
1. Are the bullies parents union?
2. The schools seem to be treating the bullies victims the same way lawyers treat rape victims in court, could this be from legal advice?
So why are the parents allowing their seven-year-old child to stay in that school? Mine would be out in five minutes, and I’d be on the phone to a lawyer so fast...
If someone attacks with a box-cutter, it is not “bullying”, it is assault with a deadly weapon.
They blamed Jack, even though they admitted that the black kid had attacked him.
The next day, they called and said that Jack had thrown him across the room onto a table. Again, the black kid had attacked him, trying to hit him from behind with a stack off books...but they were "only paper backs".
I told the teachers that I would have a talk with Jack and advise him to stop pulling his punches if he was attacked again.
Jack was never attacked again and the teachers thought that I was a barbarian.
This is nothing new.
I remember dealing with bullies terrorizing my 7yo brother and that was back in the 1960’s, and we attended a Catholic school.
Is it right? Of course not, but it is nothing new and is not limited to inner city public schools.
Good for Jack!!!!! (and you)
I am sorry that you and your family had to endure such torment. Glad to read that your son is doing well now.
God Bless,
SC
There is absolutely NO way I would send my children to public school. I honestly think there is little, if any, good that comes from them that cannot be done at home, and better. Heck, my youngest daughter got into a typing game on our computer in the mid 90’s on our home computer that made her an unbelievably fast and accurate typist. And boy, does that carry over to her university work.
There is more than enough curriculum available to teach kids anything they (or their parents) want them to learn. One parent homeschools while the other earns the bread. Or, if they are a “professional” couple, they can send their kids to private school.
Public schools are not only obsolete, but actually do more harm than good, not only academically but socially.
Hooray for your son! He gained experience and confidence...
if teachers anda admins did their jobs, there would be no bullies because they’d be stopped before they got out of hand. I saw this a lot.
parents should complain about the box cutter attack to the police, and talk to the principal via attorney. don’t let the school get in between the police and criminal activity.
Home schooling and private schooling are the current alternatives. If I still had kids in public school, I would also continue my fight to have school vouchers.
I grew up on Long Island in a mainly middle class area. I was bullied a bit...off school grounds, but the moment I stood up for myself and threw a punch at that little snarky squat who thought she owned the street leading up to the school - the bullying stopped.
It’s really vital kids know how to stick up for themselves. The past 30 years we’ve just gone totally overboard with over-protection of kids.
What is the school supposed to do? Here’s a thought: Expel the bullies if it happens on school grounds. Zero tolerance.
My son had the same problem in middle school. We praised him every night for avoiding the bully and keeping his temper in check. Of course, the bullying didn’t stop, but instead escalated. We contacted teachers, principals, administrators, who all said that they would tell my son the same thing, and that they had bigger problems.
One evening He was in tears and said he just couldn’t take it anymore. His dad was on the road, so I just shrugged, looked him in the eye, and say “cut loose on him.” The next day I got a call from the principal saying that my son took on three boys in the gym locker room. I asked him if anyone was bleeding or broken, and he said no. I said cool, tell my son I’ll see him when he gets off the bus.
That was one solution.
The other took place in Los Angeles in elementary school. He was being bullied by a kid two grades ahead of him, just weeks after we moved there. One afternoon during pick-up, I had my son point out the bully. I went up to the kid and asked if his name was Tim. I told him I who I was, and that my son had been telling me how kind he had been to him in the past few weeks. Since he was the new kid, he was shy and unsure of things, and I really appreciated him being a special friend and showing him around the school. I told him that many times new kids get picked on, so I was so glad that he had a bigger and older friend to look out for him and protect him. I thought the kid would pee his pants. I reached out to shake his hand, and he turned white, but returned the shake. The next day, my son said now the kid is hiding from HIM.
Good grief, how can these parents in ANY good conscience send their kids back to that school???? How??
Would any of us go back to work if coworkers were threatening us or assaulting us with boxcutters?
But eventually I had had enough. In PE class one day I rebelled. “Coach” caught us, and told us to put on the gloves.
I didn't do much damage to the bully, but he never bothered me again, nor did anyone else. They had a lot of pea-brains back then, but at least they let the few with some sense handle things when they occurred in their classes. Unlike today.
I wondered if that might be the case when I read that the schools wouldn’t do anything to the bully.
Folks, we’re seeing this more and more. Blacks are going to be given license to prey on non-blacks, and anyone who complains will be punished for racism.
“... the teachers thought that I was a barbarian”
Sounds to me like you are a GREAT parent. Good for Jack... gee, he sounds like one of mine. LOL
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