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Posted on 03/01/2011 1:23:44 AM PST by JustAmy
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"I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know why those doctors were wearing masks."
~ James H. Boren
Your graphic is sooooooo funny!! :)
Oh, my! LOL!
“Oops?” LOL!
Yep!! LOL!
I think this is the LAST one I will celebrate!
(And, thanks to TiaPammie, too!)
A farmer called his pig Ball Point.
Well, it wasn't its real name -
just a pen name.
I’m so glad you had a nice day. I don’t have a good selection of birthday and greeting cards but my wishes are very sincere.
Glad you enjoyed it. Made me smile! :)
To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday".
Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."
There will be a special section with lounge chairs who feel that our pews are too hard.
Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching T.V. late Saturday night.
We will have steel helmets for those who say " The roof would cave in if I ever came to church."
Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot.
Score cards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too.
We will distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons for those who feel that church is always asking for money.
One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.
Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.
We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and cotton for those who say he is to loud.
by Unknown
A Birthday Wish
This little boy wound up teaching his mother a wonderful lesson about what prayer can do.
By Karen Barnett, Albany, Oregon
Andrew, my four-year-old, knelt by his bed.
“Dear God, thank you for this day and please don’t let me have any nightmares,” he said. “And please let my friend Eden come to my birthday party.”
“Sweetie, Eden’s new house is hundreds of miles away,” I said, pulling the covers over Andrew and kissing his forehead. “That’s much too far to come to your party.”
“But, Mom,” Andrew said, looking at me as if I just didn’t understand how life worked, “I prayed she would come!”
I was the last person on earth to tell anyone about prayer. I kept my own prayers strictly on the safe side. Nothing big. Nothing extraordinary. Let the kids have a good day. Keep us safe in the car. Help the baby stop crying. I figured if I kept my expectations low, I wouldn’t be disappointed.
Andrew had no such rules. He couldn’t imagine turning five without his best friend. I had shown Andrew on a map just how far away Eden lived.
He handed me an invitation with her name on it. I slipped it into my purse. There was no point in mailing it.
“What kind of cake should I make for Saturday?” I asked, hoping to get him thinking about things that were actually possible.
“A purple butterfly,” said Andrew. “Eden loves butterflies—and purple is her favorite color.”
Thursday evening, the phone rang. It was Eden’s mother. “Eden and I are in town this weekend. We’d like to stop by. Are you busy on Saturday?”
I couldn’t wait to surprise Andrew. When Eden showed up on Saturday right on time for the party, I grabbed my camera to get a shot of Andrew’s face. But Andrew wasn’t surprised at all! He welcomed her just like he did his other friends. Then they both ran to play video games.
That’s when I realized the surprise wasn’t for my son, but for me. It was my faith that needed shoring up, my prayers that needed to grow.
“Wasn’t it amazing that Eden came all that way to be at your party?” I asked Andrew later.
Andrew looked at me and grinned. “Mom, I prayed!”
I know that, Potlatch, and it means a lot to me! Thank you and big ((((HUGS)))) to you!
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