What's scarier than being a Democrat this Election Day?
Posted on 10/29/2010 6:01:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT
6. I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.5. I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies through abortion so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
4. I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.
3. I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as it sees fit.
2. I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some radicals who would never get their agendas past the voters.
1. My head is so firmly planted up my butt that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
I'll keep my Freedom, my God and my Guns... You keep the Change...
Get out and vote November 2nd, 2010!
A call for conservatives to vote: "My name may not be on the ballot, but our agenda for moving forward is on the ballot, and I need everybody to turn out." --Barack Obama
Blame game: "[The recession] started long before I took office. ... [Republicans] figure you're going to forget, because you're angry. This election isn't about anger, it isn't about fear. This election is about a choice, and the stakes couldn't be higher." --Barack Obama
The great divider: "If Latinos sit out the election instead of saying, 'We're gonna punish our enemies and we're gonna reward our friends who stand with us on issues that are important to us,' if they don't see that kind of upsurge in voting in this election, then I think it's gonna be harder and that's why I think it's so important that people focus on voting on November 2." --Barack Obama explaining on Univision why he hasn't passed immigration reform
"It's not enough to just play politics. You can't focus on the next election. You've got to focus on the next generation." --BO (By making them slaves to debt?)
Poor thing: "[W]e haven't really gotten the credit for what we have done." --House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), who doesn't realize that's exactly why Democrats are losing
Can you dig it? "We found ourselves in a hole that I didn't dig, but I have dug, dug and dug to try to get out of that hole." --Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who forgot that when you find yourself in a hole (that Democrats did dig), stop digging
Another Biden gaffe: "I was amazed at the amount of money [for campaigns] -- this $200 billion of money that is -- where there's no accountability. When I say accountability, we don't know where it's coming from. There's no disclosure, so the folks watching the ad can't make a judgment based upon motive when you say it's paid for by so-and-so. ... I've never seen this before, so the only caveat I'd put in terms of the House is how much impact this $200 billion are going [sic] to mean." --Vice President Joe Biden, who clearly meant to say "million," not "billion"
What a guy: "I've got to go home to tuck in the girls and walk the dog and scoop the poop." --BO explaining why he could not stay for a $7,500-a-plate fundraising dinner in Rhode Island
Rosa Parks he isn't: "We don't mind the Republicans joining us. They can come for the ride, but they gotta sit in back." --Barack Obama on "bipartisanship"
Editor's Note: After repeatedly quoting the Declaration of Independence without referencing "endowed by their Creator," Barack Obama finally discovered the Creator this weekend, correctly quoting the Declaration in four different speeches. See for yourself and let us know what you think.
You don't say: "There's too much at stake to turn back now." --Michelle Obama, offering yet another reason to vote Tuesday
Taking all the credit: "I almost gag when I hear these Republicans lambasting the president and the Democrats in Congress, 'Oh, they're such big spenders, they're just crazy, they're quasi-socialist.' I have a simple question: Who's the last president to give you a balanced budget? ... [F]rankly there are a few things about this election that have gotten me somewhere between disturbed and ticked off." --Bill Clinton
Gratuitous Hitler Reference: "You never get into a political discussion unless you bring the word Hitler in. ... He wasn't a majority guy, but he was charismatic and they were having bad economic times -- just like we are now -- people were out of work, they needed jobs and a guy came along and rallied the troops. My fear is that the Tea Party gets a charismatic leader, because all they're selling is fear and anger and that's all Hitler sold. 'I'm angry and I'm frightened and you should hate that guy over there.' ... And that's what they're doing." --director Rob "Meathead" Reiner
Keep beating the same drum: "Republicans are cynical about politics from the jump. Political cynicism fuels them. Democrats are idealistic about politics. When they become cynical they tend to drop out. Message to Obama: Whatever happens Nov. 2, don't move to the center. Push even harder for what you believe in. Message to Democrats: Whatever happens, keep the courage." --former Clintonista Robert Reich
"In 2008 Obama promised us the moon if elected President. Instead ... gullible Americans got mooned." --columnist Doug Giles
"National Public Radio is a monument to political correctness. Its acronym might better be thought of as 'not professionally responsible.' It is not a left-leaning organization. The Leaning Tower of Pisa leans. NPR has fallen over completely for the 'progressive' agenda. It is supine. Horizontal." --columnist Ken Blackwell
"The Chamber of Commerce ridiculed the White House claim Friday that it funnels foreign money to GOP candidates. The president made a point he didn't intend to make. We can't allow foreign money to steal our democracy, we need it to fund our debt." --comedian Argus Hamilton
"Why would anyone blame Obama for the deficit when all he did was double it?" --Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto
"People you wouldn't trust around heavy machinery or sharp tools should never be trusted to run America. The only place they'll run it is into the ground." --columnist Burt Prelutsky
That last cartoon is an insult to King George. I’m sure he rolls in his grave every time its posted!
Don't mention the war ...
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and the other hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: “Want coffee.”
The waiter says, “Sure, Chief. Coming right up.” He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.....
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter: “Want coffee.”
The waiter says, “Whoa, Tonto! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?”
The Indian smiles and proudly says, “Training for position in United States Congress. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.”
ON NOVEMBER 2 VOTE THEM ALL OUT OF OFFICE!
Mmmm. Malk.
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘racism’ these days.
So, the customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?”
The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?”
The guy (clearly offended) says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you
something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I
was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me
if I was German.
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or
if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?’ If I asked
for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
The clerk says, “Well, no, I probably wouldn’t!”
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well then, why did
you ask me if I’m Polish when I asked for polish sausage?”
The clerk replied, “Because you’re in Home Depot.”
_____
Sid the inventor is struggling through Birmingham New Street railway station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks, “Have you got the time?”
Sid sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. “It’s a quarter to four,” he says.
“Hey, that’s a pretty fancy watch!” exclaims the stranger. Sid brightens a little.
“Yeah, it’s not bad. I’ve been working on it for a while. Have a look at this...” - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 200 largest cities.
He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says, “The time is ten fourdy seven AM,” in a New York accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Sid continues, “I’ve put in regional accents for each city.” The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.
The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. “That’s not all,” says Sid. He pushes a few more buttons and a tiny but very high-resolution map of central Birmingham appears on the display. “The flashing dot shows our location by GPS,” explains Sid. “View recede ten,” he adds, and the display changes to show the entire West Midlands.
“I want to buy this watch!” gasps the stranger.
“Oh, no, it’s not ready for sale yet; I’m still working out the bugs,” says Sid. “But look at this!” and he proceeds to demonstrate that the watch is also a very creditable little digital radio receiver, a sonar device that can measure distances up to 125 metres, a pager with thermal paper printout and, most impressive of all, an audio player capable of storing voice recordings of up to 300 standard-size books, “though I’ve only got 32 of my favourites in there so far,” says Sid.
“I’ve got to have this watch!” insists the stranger.
“No, you don’t understand; it’s not ready-”
“I’ll give you £1,000 for it!”
“Oh, no, I’ve already spent more than-”
“I’ll give you £3,000 for it!”
“But it’s just not-”
“I’ll give you £5,000 for it!” And the stranger pulls out a large wad of fifty-pound notes.
Sid stops to think. He’s only put about £3,500 into materials and development, and with £5,000 he can make another one and have it ready for marketing in only six months. The stranger frantically finishes counting out the money and waves it in front of him. “Here it is, ready to hand to you right here and now. £5,000. Take it or leave it.”
Sid abruptly makes his decision. “OK,” he says, and peels off the watch.
They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away. “Hey, wait a minute!” calls Sid after the stranger, who turns around warily. Sid points to the two suitcases he’s been trying to drag through the station. “Don’t forget your batteries.”
OMG that site is making me LOL!!
Not for the faint of heart, but it’s a hoot!
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