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THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD

Posted on 10/29/2010 6:01:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

What's scarier than being a Democrat this Election Day?




A farmer finally decided to buy a TV. The store assured him that they would install the antenna and TV the next day.

The next evening the farmer turned on his new TV and found only political ads on every channel. The next morning he turned the TV on and found only political ads again.

When he came in to eat lunch he tried the TV again but still only found political ads.

The next day when he still found only political ads he called the store to complain. The owner said that it was impossible for every channel to only have political ads, but agreed to send their repairman to check the TV.

When the TV repairman turned on the TV he found that the farmer was right. After looking at the TV for a while he went outside to check the antenna. In a few minutes he returned and told the farmer he had found the problem. The antenna had been installed on top of the windmill and grounded to the manure spreader.


10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't...

1. So...What'd you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

5. I got the best piece from that house.

6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....

8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!



TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT


10. I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

9.  I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

8.  Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

7.  I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

6.  I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

5.  I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies through abortion so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

4.  I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

3.  I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as it sees fit.

2.  I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some radicals who would never get their agendas past the voters.

1.  My head is so firmly planted up my butt that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

I'll keep my Freedom, my God and my Guns... You keep the Change...

Get out and vote November 2nd, 2010!


The Demo-gogues

A call for conservatives to vote: "My name may not be on the ballot, but our agenda for moving forward is on the ballot, and I need everybody to turn out." --Barack Obama

Blame game: "[The recession] started long before I took office. ... [Republicans] figure you're going to forget, because you're angry. This election isn't about anger, it isn't about fear. This election is about a choice, and the stakes couldn't be higher." --Barack Obama

The great divider: "If Latinos sit out the election instead of saying, 'We're gonna punish our enemies and we're gonna reward our friends who stand with us on issues that are important to us,' if they don't see that kind of upsurge in voting in this election, then I think it's gonna be harder and that's why I think it's so important that people focus on voting on November 2." --Barack Obama explaining on Univision why he hasn't passed immigration reform

"It's not enough to just play politics. You can't focus on the next election. You've got to focus on the next generation." --BO (By making them slaves to debt?)

Poor thing: "[W]e haven't really gotten the credit for what we have done." --House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), who doesn't realize that's exactly why Democrats are losing

Can you dig it? "We found ourselves in a hole that I didn't dig, but I have dug, dug and dug to try to get out of that hole." --Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who forgot that when you find yourself in a hole (that Democrats did dig), stop digging

Another Biden gaffe: "I was amazed at the amount of money [for campaigns] -- this $200 billion of money that is -- where there's no accountability. When I say accountability, we don't know where it's coming from. There's no disclosure, so the folks watching the ad can't make a judgment based upon motive when you say it's paid for by so-and-so. ... I've never seen this before, so the only caveat I'd put in terms of the House is how much impact this $200 billion are going [sic] to mean." --Vice President Joe Biden, who clearly meant to say "million," not "billion"

What a guy: "I've got to go home to tuck in the girls and walk the dog and scoop the poop." --BO explaining why he could not stay for a $7,500-a-plate fundraising dinner in Rhode Island

Rosa Parks he isn't: "We don't mind the Republicans joining us. They can come for the ride, but they gotta sit in back." --Barack Obama on "bipartisanship"

Editor's Note: After repeatedly quoting the Declaration of Independence without referencing "endowed by their Creator," Barack Obama finally discovered the Creator this weekend, correctly quoting the Declaration in four different speeches. See for yourself and let us know what you think.

Village Idiots

You don't say: "There's too much at stake to turn back now." --Michelle Obama, offering yet another reason to vote Tuesday

Taking all the credit: "I almost gag when I hear these Republicans lambasting the president and the Democrats in Congress, 'Oh, they're such big spenders, they're just crazy, they're quasi-socialist.' I have a simple question: Who's the last president to give you a balanced budget? ... [F]rankly there are a few things about this election that have gotten me somewhere between disturbed and ticked off." --Bill Clinton

Gratuitous Hitler Reference: "You never get into a political discussion unless you bring the word Hitler in. ... He wasn't a majority guy, but he was charismatic and they were having bad economic times -- just like we are now -- people were out of work, they needed jobs and a guy came along and rallied the troops. My fear is that the Tea Party gets a charismatic leader, because all they're selling is fear and anger and that's all Hitler sold. 'I'm angry and I'm frightened and you should hate that guy over there.' ... And that's what they're doing." --director Rob "Meathead" Reiner

Keep beating the same drum: "Republicans are cynical about politics from the jump. Political cynicism fuels them. Democrats are idealistic about politics. When they become cynical they tend to drop out. Message to Obama: Whatever happens Nov. 2, don't move to the center. Push even harder for what you believe in. Message to Democrats: Whatever happens, keep the courage." --former Clintonista Robert Reich

Newspulper Headlines:


Questions Nobody Is Asking: "Is Public Radio the Cure for Local News?" --Crosscut.com (Seattle)

Too Much Information: "Harry Reid: 'I've Never Had to Prove My Manhood to Anyone'" --Las Vegas Review Journal

Out on a Limb: "If Dems Lose, Obama Will Blame Everyone but Himself" --Washington Examiner

The Lonely Lives of Democrats: "Democrats Try to Woo Women as More Embrace GOP Candidates" --Washington Post website,

Life Imitates the Onion: "Democrats Could Lose Up to 8,000 Seats in Upcoming Midterm Election" --The Onion • "Republicans Put 99 Democrat-Held House Seats in Danger" --Politico.com

Bottom Stories of the Day: "Trial Lawyers Donate Millions of Dollars to Democratic Candidates" --ABA Journal

(Thanks to The Wall Street Journal's James Taranto)

Short Cuts

"In 2008 Obama promised us the moon if elected President. Instead ... gullible Americans got mooned." --columnist Doug Giles

"National Public Radio is a monument to political correctness. Its acronym might better be thought of as 'not professionally responsible.' It is not a left-leaning organization. The Leaning Tower of Pisa leans. NPR has fallen over completely for the 'progressive' agenda. It is supine. Horizontal." --columnist Ken Blackwell

"The Chamber of Commerce ridiculed the White House claim Friday that it funnels foreign money to GOP candidates. The president made a point he didn't intend to make. We can't allow foreign money to steal our democracy, we need it to fund our debt." --comedian Argus Hamilton

"Why would anyone blame Obama for the deficit when all he did was double it?" --Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto

"People you wouldn't trust around heavy machinery or sharp tools should never be trusted to run America. The only place they'll run it is into the ground." --columnist Burt Prelutsky



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: election; halloween; obamajokes; ofst; silliness; vacationgal
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And now for some cartoons:








1 posted on 10/29/2010 6:01:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP


2 posted on 10/29/2010 6:03:19 AM PDT by Dacula (Life is good!)
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To: Lucky9teen

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, “I wish you could talk.”

The monkey looked up at the officer and nodded his head up and down. “You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer.

Again, the monkey nods his head up and down.

“Well, did you see this?” “Yes,” motioned the monkey.

“What happened?” The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up to his mouth.

“They were drinking?” asked the officer. The monkey nods his head “Yes.”

“What else?” The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.

“They were smoking marijuana?” The monkey nods his head “Yes.”

“What else?” The monkey motioned “kissing.”

“They were kissing, too?” asked the astounded officer. The monkey nods his head “Yes.”

“Now wait, you’re saying your owners were drinking, smoking and kissing before they wrecked.” The monkey nods his head “Yes.”

“What were you doing during all this?”

“Driving” motioned the monkey.


3 posted on 10/29/2010 6:03:49 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Dacula

PING for later


4 posted on 10/29/2010 6:04:03 AM PDT by Logic n' Reason (You can roll a turd in powered sugar; that don't make it a jelly donut)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

I VOTE FOR MORE SILLINESS...

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST



Am I the only one who thinks a lot of Dems are going to be
getting the Zot on November 2nd?

....and some Republicans too?

5 posted on 10/29/2010 6:05:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.)
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To: Lucky9teen

IATP by seconds


6 posted on 10/29/2010 6:06:46 AM PDT by CPOSharky (They ain't "illegals." They are just unregistered democrats.)
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To: Lucky9teen
TOP TEN!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

7 posted on 10/29/2010 6:07:55 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: CPOSharky
IATP by seconds

LOL!! 106 seconds.

8 posted on 10/29/2010 6:10:48 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen



9 posted on 10/29/2010 6:11:27 AM PDT by quantim (Victory is not relative, it is absolute.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Top 20 whoo hoo
10 posted on 10/29/2010 6:11:58 AM PDT by fml
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To: Lucky9teen

In....much needed today.


11 posted on 10/29/2010 6:12:29 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (It's not the Obama Administration....it's the "Obama Regime".)
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To: Lucky9teen

12 posted on 10/29/2010 6:13:10 AM PDT by quantim (Victory is not relative, it is absolute.)
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To: fml
Just shoot, made 10 and my costume didn't show up...


13 posted on 10/29/2010 6:14:42 AM PDT by fml
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To: Lucky9teen


And Vacation Gal is prepping for the big trip to India.
14 posted on 10/29/2010 6:16:04 AM PDT by quantim (Victory is not relative, it is absolute.)
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To: Lucky9teen

TGIF!


15 posted on 10/29/2010 6:20:43 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (Stop cap and trade fraud.)
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To: Lucky9teen

16 posted on 10/29/2010 6:24:18 AM PDT by Bean Counter
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To: Bean Counter

best yet!


17 posted on 10/29/2010 6:31:29 AM PDT by holly go-rightly
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To: Bean Counter
That is a great bumper sticker.

I've noticed that where I live (south-west of Philly) all the bumper stickers are gone.
I can hardly believe it.

18 posted on 10/29/2010 6:31:34 AM PDT by mickie
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To: Lucky9teen
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
19 posted on 10/29/2010 6:40:35 AM PDT by Sax
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To: Lucky9teen
Hey Lucky9teen!

Check out this funny YouTube video:

Barack O-Flocka Flames Nigga EPIC Obama President WAKA FLOCKA PARODY Rap Song

An other example of what Dr. Laura was saying about the word Nigga.

20 posted on 10/29/2010 6:40:45 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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