What's scarier than being a Democrat this Election Day?
Posted on 10/29/2010 6:01:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT
6. I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.5. I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies through abortion so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
4. I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.
3. I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as it sees fit.
2. I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some radicals who would never get their agendas past the voters.
1. My head is so firmly planted up my butt that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
I'll keep my Freedom, my God and my Guns... You keep the Change...
Get out and vote November 2nd, 2010!
A call for conservatives to vote: "My name may not be on the ballot, but our agenda for moving forward is on the ballot, and I need everybody to turn out." --Barack Obama
Blame game: "[The recession] started long before I took office. ... [Republicans] figure you're going to forget, because you're angry. This election isn't about anger, it isn't about fear. This election is about a choice, and the stakes couldn't be higher." --Barack Obama
The great divider: "If Latinos sit out the election instead of saying, 'We're gonna punish our enemies and we're gonna reward our friends who stand with us on issues that are important to us,' if they don't see that kind of upsurge in voting in this election, then I think it's gonna be harder and that's why I think it's so important that people focus on voting on November 2." --Barack Obama explaining on Univision why he hasn't passed immigration reform
"It's not enough to just play politics. You can't focus on the next election. You've got to focus on the next generation." --BO (By making them slaves to debt?)
Poor thing: "[W]e haven't really gotten the credit for what we have done." --House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), who doesn't realize that's exactly why Democrats are losing
Can you dig it? "We found ourselves in a hole that I didn't dig, but I have dug, dug and dug to try to get out of that hole." --Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who forgot that when you find yourself in a hole (that Democrats did dig), stop digging
Another Biden gaffe: "I was amazed at the amount of money [for campaigns] -- this $200 billion of money that is -- where there's no accountability. When I say accountability, we don't know where it's coming from. There's no disclosure, so the folks watching the ad can't make a judgment based upon motive when you say it's paid for by so-and-so. ... I've never seen this before, so the only caveat I'd put in terms of the House is how much impact this $200 billion are going [sic] to mean." --Vice President Joe Biden, who clearly meant to say "million," not "billion"
What a guy: "I've got to go home to tuck in the girls and walk the dog and scoop the poop." --BO explaining why he could not stay for a $7,500-a-plate fundraising dinner in Rhode Island
Rosa Parks he isn't: "We don't mind the Republicans joining us. They can come for the ride, but they gotta sit in back." --Barack Obama on "bipartisanship"
Editor's Note: After repeatedly quoting the Declaration of Independence without referencing "endowed by their Creator," Barack Obama finally discovered the Creator this weekend, correctly quoting the Declaration in four different speeches. See for yourself and let us know what you think.
You don't say: "There's too much at stake to turn back now." --Michelle Obama, offering yet another reason to vote Tuesday
Taking all the credit: "I almost gag when I hear these Republicans lambasting the president and the Democrats in Congress, 'Oh, they're such big spenders, they're just crazy, they're quasi-socialist.' I have a simple question: Who's the last president to give you a balanced budget? ... [F]rankly there are a few things about this election that have gotten me somewhere between disturbed and ticked off." --Bill Clinton
Gratuitous Hitler Reference: "You never get into a political discussion unless you bring the word Hitler in. ... He wasn't a majority guy, but he was charismatic and they were having bad economic times -- just like we are now -- people were out of work, they needed jobs and a guy came along and rallied the troops. My fear is that the Tea Party gets a charismatic leader, because all they're selling is fear and anger and that's all Hitler sold. 'I'm angry and I'm frightened and you should hate that guy over there.' ... And that's what they're doing." --director Rob "Meathead" Reiner
Keep beating the same drum: "Republicans are cynical about politics from the jump. Political cynicism fuels them. Democrats are idealistic about politics. When they become cynical they tend to drop out. Message to Obama: Whatever happens Nov. 2, don't move to the center. Push even harder for what you believe in. Message to Democrats: Whatever happens, keep the courage." --former Clintonista Robert Reich
"In 2008 Obama promised us the moon if elected President. Instead ... gullible Americans got mooned." --columnist Doug Giles
"National Public Radio is a monument to political correctness. Its acronym might better be thought of as 'not professionally responsible.' It is not a left-leaning organization. The Leaning Tower of Pisa leans. NPR has fallen over completely for the 'progressive' agenda. It is supine. Horizontal." --columnist Ken Blackwell
"The Chamber of Commerce ridiculed the White House claim Friday that it funnels foreign money to GOP candidates. The president made a point he didn't intend to make. We can't allow foreign money to steal our democracy, we need it to fund our debt." --comedian Argus Hamilton
"Why would anyone blame Obama for the deficit when all he did was double it?" --Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto
"People you wouldn't trust around heavy machinery or sharp tools should never be trusted to run America. The only place they'll run it is into the ground." --columnist Burt Prelutsky
For you two. 
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and...
the coffin stops.
The first time I told that to my family, I almost got lynched—and I was driving!!
*groan*
“But I promise you, if one of these inevitable nuclear attacks is, God forbid, successful, Barack Obama and I will conduct tough and open negotiations with our new overlords,” said Biden. “Ol’ Joe Biden learned how to negotiate at his dad’s used car lot in Scranton PA, and if these overlords think they can swing some sort of lowball occupation deal, I’ll just tell them ‘I gotta go get my manager,’ and then... boo-yeah! In comes Barack Obama to upsell them undercoating and extra exercise yard privileges for you and me.”
After rubbing tapioca into his armpits and singing what appeared to be the Numa-Numa song, Biden mounted a Segway and crashed through a side door.
A spokesman for the Obama-Biden campaign later clarified the Senator’s remarks, and urged reporters “not to take Senator Biden’s words out of context.”
When asked what context that was, the spokesman explained that “the Senator has massive brain damage.”
See?
LOL! That was a great one!
WRITE IN C ("Let it Be") When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: "Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers: "Write in C." Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C. LOGO's dead and buried, Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, For science it worked flawlessly. Try using it for graphics!
Write in C. If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad to Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C. BASIC's not the answer. Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C Write in C, oh, Write in C. Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
Awsome! We get to go through your closet! I hear you have the bestest hooker clothes. :o)
*choke*
I’m sorry I asked!!
LOL!
PING for later
The average ghost is mean spirited
I like the subtlety of that one.
LOL!
Do not and I mean DO NOT take the glow in the dark bustier. I told my mom she could borrow it.
snicker
A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, ‘We don’t serve bacteria in this place.’ The bacteria said, ‘But I work here, I’m staph
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