Posted on 08/31/2010 11:18:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise
Marcel Williams is plopped down on a couch in his family's duplex apartment. The stillness is unusual for the 14-year-old, who a few years ago roamed football fields as a star running back for the national champion Flagler Junior Pee Wee Bulldogs.
Since then, Marcel said he had been earning A's and B's at Buddy Taylor Middle School, where he also expected to continue playing football this year.
Instead, school just started and Marcel finds himself slouched on the couch, expelled from the classroom and the football field until next year because of something called "tea-bagging" -- a crude taunt Marcel practiced while keeping his pants on.
Marcel said the boys were horsing around in the back of a school bus on their way home. Several other kids were suspended over the incident but Marcel said he was the only one expelled.
"We were just playing. I didn't know they would take it that far," Marcel said of the reaction of school officials.
The punishment does not fit the misdeed, said Marcel's father, Darial Williams, 43.
"I'm not condoning this, but why make this as severe as it is?" Williams said. He said he has not had disciplinary issues with his son before.
"I've never had any problems with Marcel, no bullying," Williams said. "He's not stubborn."
Neither Buddy Taylor Middle School Principal Winnie Oden nor the School District's director of student services, Katrina Townsend, would discuss Marcel's case, citing student confidentiality -- that of Marcel's and the other student.
But "tea-bagging," as students call it, can be a gesture subtle enough that teachers may not even know it happened, or it can be flagrant -- a student, still wearing clothes, rubbing his crotch in another's face, Townsend said.
It's generally handled as a "school discipline issue," with a detention or a call to parents or some other action, Townsend said.
But criminal charges propel it to another level, she said.
That's what happened in Marcel's case; the taunted boy's father pressed criminal charges, Marcel and his family said.
And what Marcel called "tea-bagging," law enforcement officials called lewd and lascivious exhibition -- a felony.
The taunted student's father later changed his mind and declined to press charges against Marcel. But it was too late to stop the School District's disciplinary process. The incident went to the Discipline Review Committee, which recommends consequences to the superintendent, who makes the final decision.
"Generally speaking, for all students that have felony charges or incidents where there is a student victim on their campus, it's considered very serious," Townsend said.
Nine students were expelled from Flagler County schools during the 2009-2010 school year; all involved felony charges.
A school bus security camera recorded the incident involving Marcel but district officials declined to release it, citing student confidentiality and protecting the victim's identity.
Marcel's father said school administrators stated they had never seen such a severe, long-lasting "tea-bagging" as in Marcel's case.
Darial Williams wonders if district officials had seen other cases of "tea-bagging," why didn't they address the problem earlier, making it clear to students and parents that such behavior was happening and unacceptable?
"If you are driving down (Interstate) 95, and you see a small brush fire, are you just going to pull over and watch that small brush fire become a big wildfire?" Darial Williams said. "Any sensible person would call 9-1-1."
Marcel's family provided a copy of a police report that described the incident as lasting for "quite some time" before Marcel was "pulled off" the boy by other students.
But Marcel said no one had to pull him off. The horseplay just ran its course and ended. He said several other students were doing it, too.
"Everybody was playing around and stuff and tea-bagging each other," Marcel said. "I was messing with him and stuff and then I tea-bagged him."
Marcel said the other boy was in on the joke. Marcel said the kid he taunted was laughing and covering his face and making mock sounds of disgust.
Marcel's family also showed a reporter a note from one of Marcel's friends who wrote that the boy was laughing as Marcel tea-bagged him.
Marcel thought the whole thing was over when he walked off the bus. Until he returned to school the next day and he and the other boys were summoned to the principal's office. They were suspended. Ten days later, when Marcel tried to return to Buddy Taylor, he said he was told he was trespassing.
Darial Williams said he has talked to the other boy's father, who has agreed to help Marcel get back in school. But the father declined to be interviewed.
On May 26, district officials expelled Marcel until Jan. 11. At that time, he will be allowed to attend the eighth grade at Pathways Academy, the district's alternative school. Once teachers at Pathways are satisfied with Marcel's behavior, he will be allowed to attend Indian Trails Middle School. Marcel will not be able to return to Buddy Taylor Middle School.
Meanwhile, he is attending "virtual school" via a computer at home.
Marcel is stunned. He said when he was at Buddy Taylor there was a "national butt-slapping day" and a day to "pop girls' bra straps," which were relayed via cell phones. So the suspension for tea-bagging knocked the wind out of the running back like a well-placed hit from a linebacker.
Townsend said school personnel review the code of conduct with students at the beginning of every year districtwide.
Marcel's father said he feels his son's future, academically and athletically, is being jeopardized due to an overreaction.
"If it goes the way it's going now, it may effect his admission into a college, hopefully not, but these things tend to follow you," Williams said.
You think that kids “always” knew what oral sex was and practiced it and it is normal?
Pret-ty strange morality you have.
That victim also didn’t tell his parents what was going on. In our own situation at a school, that kid didn’t even admit to any of it especially not his parents. Tons of issues going on there, imo.
Why didn’t the victim tell anyone or fight back? He wanted to be included in that group of boys no matter how wacked they were? He didn’t feel comfortable in telling his parents what was happening?
It’s all screwed up, imo.
That’s exactly the part that’s so confusing for me, too.
None of the boys or guys I hung around with would ever thing of doing this homo behavior with anyone.
And high school in my kids days, current, is far from a prison.
BS. Schools today allow no such thing. Zero Tolerance Policy and all. Can’t even defend yourself anymore. Zero Tolerance Policy and all that. Thanks to all the liberal and so called conservative nanny staters.
Some of you people must live in hellholes because around here, the schools are like spas. Far different than when and where I grew up close to 40 years ago.
I just love that broad brush some of you use. LOL
Of course. And all schools teach that. All parents are ok with it.
GMAFB.
Same advice we pass on to our kids and our parents passed on to us. And none of us were homeshcooled. Wow. Imagine that.
I think a sitnt in an alternative school (we have one in our hs regional district) may be the answer for this kid. If he proves himself, he gets to go back to reg school. And it’s not a juvenile detention center so he’s lucky there.
So you never taught to defend yourself?
If anyone tried to touch me inappropriately when I was pre teen or teen, and I didn’t want it, I would have knocked them the hell out or hit them in their balls so hard they couldn’t get up.
My parents taught me to defend myself and not rely on others to do it for me.
So public schools are like Lord of the Flies. Good to know that no rational discussion can happen with you. That’s a really broad brush there, lol.
Wait! My husband has figured out teen boys. So he says. They are all scum and only want sex, lol. We have 4 daughters. He jokes about it but I keep telling to stop saying that to them. We have a 19 1/2 yr old (with a boyfriend and he’s really nice), a 18 yr old, 14 1/2 yr old and almost 13 yr old.
Yes, I’m gray but I color ;)
I’m a girl and still trying to figure out teen girls, lol.
Oh if FR only had an ignore button.
Students can’t take aspirin without a court order? Where?
All I have to do is sign a waiver in the beginning of the school year. For both the Catholic and public school my kids attend. It’s not that hard really. They’re just rrying to protect themselves from all the lawsuits by all the wacked out parents, liberal and conservative who want the schools to raise their kids.
And it’s not that hard to take a motrin or anything else while in school without the school nurse knowing. Seriously. This is such a non issue. The ones who complain are the ones looking for lawsuits and tv face time.
4 kids and not one has had a problem with taking the OTC I allow them to have in their possession. Maybe because they don’t make an issue of it and we ain’t sue happy.
I really thing people have no idea just how much control they have locally.
We had parents, lol, complain about the bus top for high school kids. The kids had to cross a busy street. So the high school and transportation changed the bus stop for our kids because overprotective parents, of high school kids mind you, complained. I had no problem with the closer bus stop as my teens are allowed to cross the freakin street. Thus, my kids were allowed on the closer bus and the nanny stater mommies got their kids on the other bus. This year, same thing. Calling the school and transportation dept tomorrow...my kid who is 14 1/2 knows how to cross the damn street. No reason she should walk 4 blocks to catch a bus that’s “safer” when a bus stop in half a block away and she has to look both ways to cross the street.
And we wonder why we had more freedom when we were kids. We didn’t have as many psycho parents, imo.
My Mom used to say, don’t ever talk about anyone else’s kids or what they do because once your kids turn the corner, you don’t know what they do.
And she grew up in the Great Depression and raised kids in the 50’s 60’s 70’s and 80’s.
The good ole days weren’t all that good. It ain’t the utopia some would like to believe and like us to believe.
I have really good kids too. Thank heavens. So far. Crossing fingers, lol. And I haven’t had to wire them yet.
Sometimes I wonder, do people not recall what they were like as teens? Or were they so perfect and didn’t experience all the stuff I did?
Hell, I’m thrilled my two oldest aren’t anything like me and husband when we were their age.
I give my kids freedom (and what they do with it...). They’ve earned my trust and if they break it, then there are consequences.
I would never hover my teens. Im involved but not THAT involved, lol. They have freedom because they earned it.
People do things differently and that’s fine imo. When they get all preachy, and it happens often here, then I reply back.
I’m a middle aged woman and I walk alone, drive alone, all that stuff, often and have since I was a kid.
I think the best thing I can teach my kids is to protect themselves as I can’t be there all the time.
I don’t live in a bubble and I won’t raise my kids in one either. Some do and that’s fine for them. When they start preacking their nonsense, we give a different opinion.
Kudos to you for having perfect kids and being a perfect parent.
You really don’t ever go out alone, ever?
Look, I ger what you’re saying. My kids are awesome too. And they’re awesome for a lot of reasons and we aren’t raising them as you are raising your kids.
I try to know what my kids are doing. Most of the time, I do. Sometimes I don’t. They ain’t wired for heavens sakes. I hope they behave as we taught them.
I have two kids in college now. I have no clue what they are doing but I know I raised them as best as I could.
I have a 14 1/2 yr old and I allow her freedom. When or if she screws that up, we will deal with it. I figure, she like her sisters were raised a certain way so it’s on them now. 12 yr old has less freedom (but of course the others think she’s spoiled lol). She earns more freedom daily by the way she behaves.
My kids are prepared for the world they live in. They will make their decisions based on all they were taught. It may not be something I’m happy with and they may make mistakes. Lord knows I made mistakes. They were given freedom and they earned my trust.
I may not agree with how you raise your kids and you may not agree with how I raise mine. I don’t give a damn what you think and you shouldn’t get defensive about what I think about how you raise your kids.
I find it weird that you wouldn’t allow your 15 yr old to walk to a friend’s house. I find it weird that you are all into your kids personal business and allow them no freedom outside of you and your husband.
I find it weird that you are a 36 yr old woman and don’t go anywhere by yourself and think well there’s that with her not allowing her kids anywhere without her. You stated you don’t walk anywhere by yourself. I find that odd. Your post makes it seem like you go nowhere by yourself ever. If that’s the way you want to live your life and raise your kids, it really isn’t my business.
We post on message boards on the internet.
You can say what you want in your posts and we are allowed to comment on how weird we think it is. Just as you’re allowed to trash us...and you have been so own it.
It’s a brick wall on some of these threads. There’s little discussion if any.
Too many of these threads turn into “homeschooling is the only answer” or watching one’s kids 24/7, etc.
Very little intelligent discussion, imo. And this from so called conservatives. We’re supposed to be on the same damn side.
Nice little bubble. Is it because you are so afraid of allowing them freedom to make their own decisions? Aren’t the teachings enough, the home life enough, for them to follow?
My husband’s fundie parents were like that. They had 3 rebellious teens. Really rebellious. And they wonder why their 3 kids turned away from all they taught. Duh when they finally had some freedom...
I figure, I have done all I can to instill the teachings in them and then they have to actually practice it. It’s an ongoing process and it’s hard.
I’m far from perfect and I know my kids aren’t perfect. Good for you that you can say NEVER, not your kids. But I guess you can since they have no freedom to make any decisions. Heh.
She doesn’t think it’s impossible to have responsible teens. She thinks it’s impossible to monitor one’s kids 24/7 and still allow them freedom. And that is impossible.
But of course, it’s all about homeschooling and how wonderful all the homeschooled kids are and of course the parents. LMAO. Some of you people have no clue.
Duh there’s always been lots of sexual ativity going in with teens.
It’s more prevalent today because it’s talked about more. Also our society is deeming some behavior acceptable so of course it’s more out there.
And too many parents aren’t parenting their kids.
We had a similar incident at our Catholic school. Only one parent grounded their kid. And all the parents (of the perpetrators)fought the school suspension. I doubt any of them beat any sense into their kids. Some parents aren’t raising their kids. IMO.
LMAO! They wouldn’t if they were parented from toddlerhood and then throughout childhood.
Teenagers need freedom. They need to be held to high standards and they will deliver. Most of them anyway. IF we treat them like toddlers they will act like toddlers.
You won’t allow your 15 yr old any freedom then expect her to be able to handle freedom? At what age? A 15 yr old who isn’t allowed to walk to a friend’s house or down the street without mommy is a sad situation imo.
But you are entitled to yourr opinions and raising your kids the way you see fit. Just like the rest of us who don’t bubble wrap our kids.
Good on you,,,
I have taught every woman/girl in my life how to defend
themselves with what they have,,,
The very best gift we can give a young woman is how
to defend herself,,,
Gun/blade/hand/foot/?...
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