Posted on 08/31/2010 11:18:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise
Marcel Williams is plopped down on a couch in his family's duplex apartment. The stillness is unusual for the 14-year-old, who a few years ago roamed football fields as a star running back for the national champion Flagler Junior Pee Wee Bulldogs.
Since then, Marcel said he had been earning A's and B's at Buddy Taylor Middle School, where he also expected to continue playing football this year.
Instead, school just started and Marcel finds himself slouched on the couch, expelled from the classroom and the football field until next year because of something called "tea-bagging" -- a crude taunt Marcel practiced while keeping his pants on.
Marcel said the boys were horsing around in the back of a school bus on their way home. Several other kids were suspended over the incident but Marcel said he was the only one expelled.
"We were just playing. I didn't know they would take it that far," Marcel said of the reaction of school officials.
The punishment does not fit the misdeed, said Marcel's father, Darial Williams, 43.
"I'm not condoning this, but why make this as severe as it is?" Williams said. He said he has not had disciplinary issues with his son before.
"I've never had any problems with Marcel, no bullying," Williams said. "He's not stubborn."
Neither Buddy Taylor Middle School Principal Winnie Oden nor the School District's director of student services, Katrina Townsend, would discuss Marcel's case, citing student confidentiality -- that of Marcel's and the other student.
But "tea-bagging," as students call it, can be a gesture subtle enough that teachers may not even know it happened, or it can be flagrant -- a student, still wearing clothes, rubbing his crotch in another's face, Townsend said.
It's generally handled as a "school discipline issue," with a detention or a call to parents or some other action, Townsend said.
But criminal charges propel it to another level, she said.
That's what happened in Marcel's case; the taunted boy's father pressed criminal charges, Marcel and his family said.
And what Marcel called "tea-bagging," law enforcement officials called lewd and lascivious exhibition -- a felony.
The taunted student's father later changed his mind and declined to press charges against Marcel. But it was too late to stop the School District's disciplinary process. The incident went to the Discipline Review Committee, which recommends consequences to the superintendent, who makes the final decision.
"Generally speaking, for all students that have felony charges or incidents where there is a student victim on their campus, it's considered very serious," Townsend said.
Nine students were expelled from Flagler County schools during the 2009-2010 school year; all involved felony charges.
A school bus security camera recorded the incident involving Marcel but district officials declined to release it, citing student confidentiality and protecting the victim's identity.
Marcel's father said school administrators stated they had never seen such a severe, long-lasting "tea-bagging" as in Marcel's case.
Darial Williams wonders if district officials had seen other cases of "tea-bagging," why didn't they address the problem earlier, making it clear to students and parents that such behavior was happening and unacceptable?
"If you are driving down (Interstate) 95, and you see a small brush fire, are you just going to pull over and watch that small brush fire become a big wildfire?" Darial Williams said. "Any sensible person would call 9-1-1."
Marcel's family provided a copy of a police report that described the incident as lasting for "quite some time" before Marcel was "pulled off" the boy by other students.
But Marcel said no one had to pull him off. The horseplay just ran its course and ended. He said several other students were doing it, too.
"Everybody was playing around and stuff and tea-bagging each other," Marcel said. "I was messing with him and stuff and then I tea-bagged him."
Marcel said the other boy was in on the joke. Marcel said the kid he taunted was laughing and covering his face and making mock sounds of disgust.
Marcel's family also showed a reporter a note from one of Marcel's friends who wrote that the boy was laughing as Marcel tea-bagged him.
Marcel thought the whole thing was over when he walked off the bus. Until he returned to school the next day and he and the other boys were summoned to the principal's office. They were suspended. Ten days later, when Marcel tried to return to Buddy Taylor, he said he was told he was trespassing.
Darial Williams said he has talked to the other boy's father, who has agreed to help Marcel get back in school. But the father declined to be interviewed.
On May 26, district officials expelled Marcel until Jan. 11. At that time, he will be allowed to attend the eighth grade at Pathways Academy, the district's alternative school. Once teachers at Pathways are satisfied with Marcel's behavior, he will be allowed to attend Indian Trails Middle School. Marcel will not be able to return to Buddy Taylor Middle School.
Meanwhile, he is attending "virtual school" via a computer at home.
Marcel is stunned. He said when he was at Buddy Taylor there was a "national butt-slapping day" and a day to "pop girls' bra straps," which were relayed via cell phones. So the suspension for tea-bagging knocked the wind out of the running back like a well-placed hit from a linebacker.
Townsend said school personnel review the code of conduct with students at the beginning of every year districtwide.
Marcel's father said he feels his son's future, academically and athletically, is being jeopardized due to an overreaction.
"If it goes the way it's going now, it may effect his admission into a college, hopefully not, but these things tend to follow you," Williams said.
14 year old boys can certainly be socially unacceptable (I’m a mother of 3 boys, now grown, plus former high school teacher who also subbed in middle school, mostly because I was one of the few subs who would regularly say yes!).
However, there was a time when boys would not have done things that could even appear to be homosexual activity. I’m more bothered by the fact that the boys do this now (according to this article) AND that the boys father does not appear horrified.
You went to a bad school. Where I taught (up until 6 years ago) this behavior would not have been tolerated. It’s easy to paint with a broad brush, but not all schools are like The Lord of the Flies. BTW I completely approve of home schooling. But I get a little tired of home school proponents smearing every public school, just like I get tired of the other side smearing home schooling.
They act like that because they are not fully civilized until later. And it’s what they need mothers and fathers for. And if the parents don’t do their job they will continue to act like that.
Exactly right!
It was actually considered a great school. All the parents thought it was wonderful.
My husband is a youth pastor and he is in the public schools alot. There is alot of sexual activity going on in the public schools now.
This is in Kentucky, West Virginia and Virginia. We aren’t talking California here.
I don’t expect kids to act crudely, I just know they might. You can bring a child up in the most loving, secure and guarded life and they will still disappoint you. When they are young they might take a peice of candy from the store, not realizing it is stealing. When they are older they might hit their sibling or write a nasty note to their friend (my son has done both) when this behavior has never been condoned or taught. Like you we correct and discipline. I suspect if this had been my kid - he’d have gotten worse from my husband - but I don’t think the punishment fits the crime. Period.
Just a quick story - I have a friend that is homeschooling his 5 kids. The oldest girl is 15, she has interaction with boys in her youth group at church. She has girl friends that she hangs out with and is allowed to visit their homes, all good families. She is not allowed to date. She is not allowed to talk with boys on the phone. Guess what? She lied to her parents about going to a friend’s house and met a boy from her youth group. At 15 kids should be allowed to walk down the street to their friend’s house unescorted - right? Where the girl and boy went and what they did is anyone’s guess, but it was completely outside her character and unexpected. What could they have done differently besides 24/7 visual supervision (not to mention bugging her with a mic) and never allowing a 15 year old some freedom? Freedom she has lost for a month, btw.
Kids don’t live in a bubble. You can minimilize and mitigate poor behavior with good parenting skills, but you can not eliminate it.
“But I get a little tired of home school proponents smearing every public school”
Telling the truth about what is happening in public schools is not smearing. The truth is that anytime you have a group of teenagers from all walks of life your kids are going to be exposed to violence, sexual activity, drugs, bullying, foul language etc.
There are not enough adults to supervise what is going on in schools and the truth is that some teachers don’t care and some teachers care but can’t do anything about it (no discipline allowed).
You really make a good point. Not that long ago in the big scheme of things 14 year olds were working and even raising families (or close to it). We expect little of our teens as far as maturity these days (as a culture). I worry that in a real crisis many of these young people will have a difficult time coping because no one ever told them that life as they know it was not really life. One of my principals (a wonderful and wise African American man) used to tell me that he worried about the kids because by the time they graduated from HS they had done everything most of us had waited until adulthood to do. He said, “What do they have to look forward to?” And he was right. They had a car as soon as they could drive. They had cell phones and sex. What was left?
“At 15 kids should be allowed to walk down the street to their friend’s house unescorted - right?”
I wouldn’t allow that. If she wants to see a friend, I would walk her there until she was in the supervision of the friend’s parent.
Teenagers need more supervision than toddlers.
Yes, there is a lot of sexual activity, I agree. However, we would never have knowingly ignored what you describes, which is sexual harassment. Honestly. I’m sure there are schools like that, but please don’t think they all are. Ours was a smallish school in rural TX. I didn’t always agree with how things were handled, but that sort of thing would have gotten a guy a trip to alternative school quickly. As it should.
“They act like that because they are not fully civilized until later. And it’s what they need mothers and fathers for. And if the parents don’t do their job they will continue to act like that.”
Good point and if this was behavior that this kid had been in trouble about prior, you might have a point.
As stated previously, parents can only do so much. Knowing exactly what your kid is doing 24/7 is called prison with cameras, and never sleeping. It is not possible.
Then you and I fundamentally disagree. At 15 a kid should be able to walk down the street unsupervised unless they have given you reason not to trust them. The umbilical cord needs be detached at some point and kids need freedom and be allowed to earn trust.
Good Luck.
You said that public schools are like Lord of the Flies. Not some public schools, or the ones you are familiar with. This is simply not true. They are not all like that. And that would make it a smear (to sully, vilify or soil a reputation).
You have made many good points, but for some reason many home schoolers feel the need to trash all public schools. I don’t know why it’s not sufficient to say that they think home schooling is superior (in many ways it is) or that they are concerned about some of the things their kids might be exposed to (valid point) or that the school their kids would go to has problems. Instead tho, I see the broad brush of “public schools are......” indicting every public school.
Yes we do. I addressed this earlier. Supervision is the key to knowing what your children are doing. A 15 year old girl alone on the street is never a good idea. My children have never given me a reason not to trust them. I also don’t put them in a position to be led astray.
I never suggested parents will know what their kids are doing 24/7 (perhaps you are confusing me with another poster). However, this behavior is certainly NOT something you would have seen in an earlier era when boys did not want to be associated with homosexual activity.
Was reading a book by Barbara Tuchman about the 13th Century in Europe, “A Distant Mirror”. She pointed out that many of the acts, ideas and motivations of the people in history at that time seem juvenile - and much of that can be attributed to the fact that many of them WERE juveniles.
Why are the English acting like they are ruled by a vain and tempestuous seventeen year old? Because they ARE ruled by a vain and tempestuous seventeen year old, and his court are a bunch of teenagers with swords and lances.
Alone on the street - are you crazy? Walking down the street in a neighborhood is not the same as street walking.
You are advocating 24/7 visual and audio supervision. Basically your chidlren will not know how to walk down a neighborhood street alone as teenagers. Quite frankly, I think that puts them in more danger as you equate freedom to being “in a position to be led astray”. They will be totally dependent on you. You will be raising kids devoid of decision making and the capacity to handle anything outside your sphere of influence and I think that is weird. Eventually they have to live in the world with out you. I hope it is not when they are 45.
Like I said, good luck.
And yet, they managed to build civilizations and systems that brought us to where we are today.
“You said that public schools are like Lord of the Flies.”
I also explained this later. There isn’t enough supervision in schools to keep kids from being “raised” so to speak by their peers. They are going to be exposed to undesirable things. I don’t mean that there is chaos in every classroom in every public school. I meant that children are being socialized by their peers and I don’t think that is positive.
Actually, I think this type of crude bahvior has always happened (not exactly the same, and maybe not as much) but no one talked about it. Much the same as teen sex and pregnancy.
And yes, I did confuse you with another poster. Sorry.
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