Posted on 07/14/2010 7:51:16 PM PDT by Judith Anne
I've had a couple of serious life issues lately, and it occurred to me how beneficial humor is, in facing adversity. My brother sends me jokes all the time, and I really enjoy them; in fact, I look forward to them every day.
So I thought I'd share the one from today, and ask everyone to share jokes too, just for the purpose of laughing out loud, easing tensions, general goofiness, and fun.
Sorry I'm not linking it. I don't have my handy dandy HTML crib sheet with me.
How can we make Alvin Greene as qualified for public office as Barack Obama?
Have Barack Obama serve in the military.
thanks!! that one really made me laugh. =) truly.
Why try to get six-pack abs when you already got a whole keg?
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:
Father.. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.
The priest replied: That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.
There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.
The priest said, That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can
succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.
Thank you, Father. Thats a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.
And what is that? asked the priest.
Should I tell her the war is over?
Okay, here’s another one:
************************************************************
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog moaned just before the phone rang.
A telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house. The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
This demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
Thought you’d like to know.
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A blond walked by an open office door wherein a dedicated worker was seen hanging upside down swinging back and forth from the ceiling. She asked him what he was doing. He remarked he had worked many hours of overtime, was burned out, but didn’t have much leave on the books, so he decided he was like a burned out light bulb, hoping somebody would give him some sick leave time off with pay.
The boss gave him several days off to cool down. On his way out of the office, the blond was seen leaving right after the tired worker. The boss asked the blond what she was doing. The blond replied she couldn’t work in the dark.
Not a joke, but these should make you smile:
http://mashable. com/2010/ 07/14/improv- everywhere- star-wars/
http://mashable. com/2010/ 05/18/ghostbuste rs-improv- everywhere/
Sorry, bad links. Try again:
http://mashable.com/2010/05/18/ghostbusters-improv-everywhere/
http://mashable.com/2010/05/18/ghostbusters-improv-everywhere/
Boo!!! Hiss!! Groan!!! (LOL!) Boo!!!
Oh, my goodness.........lololololololol!!!!!
Why is it so hard to solve a redneck murder?
Pretty much all the DNA matches..
...and there are no dental records.
HO #!: “Yo, do you ever smoke after a trick?”
HO #2: “Girl, I don’t know. I’ve never looked.”
—Redd Foxx
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven’s Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.
St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. “Let me go find out,” and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. “What if it doesn’t work?” they wondered, “Are we stuck together forever?”
St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informed the couple, “you can get married in Heaven.”
“Great,” said the couple, “but what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.
“COME ON!” St. Peter shouted, “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?”
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