[LongElegantLegs]

How about “The hotel clerk’s creepy mother keeps walking by your room and looking in the windows?” That happened to us once...

[GeronL]

Dude. I stayed a night in the worst motel in Texas. The Villager Inn of Terrell Texas.

The fronts of the drawers were broken off, there was a hole in the bathroom door about a the size of 2 fists, the carpets and mattresses were so stained it was frightening.

It was on the side of the highway and the only places within walking distance were the two XXX bookstores next door.

NO, I am NOT kidding.

[Cyber Liberty]

There’s no mention about the smell of decomposing bodies. The list is incomplete....

[kimmie7]

We stayed at a motel in eastern KY once that had a diner attached. We ate there only because there was nothing else. The waitress begged us to bring her and her small son back “to civilization” with us. This was only a few miles from Butcher Holler (a cookie for anyone who knows why that is known).

That was over 17 years ago. We STILL refer to it as the trip from hell.

Think Hee Haw meets Deliverance.

[mstar]

The mattresses are wrapped in plastic.

The mattress NEEDS to be wrapped in heavy plastic so you can sleep on it and not contract viral infections and other "illness", or a wide assortment of bugs, plus remain somewhat dry through the night.

[fatnotlazy]

I’ve been in some fairly decent non-chain motels and I’ve also stayed in some really bad upper crust places. There is good and bad throughout the industry.

[smokingfrog]

Any motel room that has one of those “magic fingers” beds.

[mstar]

BTW if anyone here wants an evening of gross laughs and wonder, check out the comments on the “Trip Adviser” website. Malibu and Pasadena. Ca. are esp interesting.

[dfwgator]

The owner constantly talks about “Mother.”

[Jack Hydrazine]

I’m the manager of a small motel on the Oregon coast and none of that applies to me!!!

[MWestMom]

The manager tells you not to “pay any mind” to her brother Buddy. He apparently wandered through the motel at all hours of the day and night. She says just don't speak to him or look him in the eye! Buddy was one creepy dude!

[21twelve]

I don’t need much out of a motel. I recall after one long field day out in the cold and rain we found a motel and my boss said “I hope you’re not picky”. I replied as long as I could take a hot shower I’d be fine.

I ran the water for 10 minutes and it was still reddish brown! Decided changing into dry clothes was good enough!

[MediaMole]

The owner’s name is “Patel.”

Wait, that disqualifies almost all the motels in the US.

[Clemenza]

Mirrors on the ceiling...

Pink champagne on ice...

[HerrBlucher]

I woke up with mice crawling on me in a motel in Portales, NM. I had to keep the light on to keep them away.

But nicer hotels have their problems too. I had to change rooms at a Holiday Inn in San Francisco because the couple next door were loudly boinking all night long.

[edpc]

4. The windows have bars.

I actually stayed in a place like this. It was an Econo Lodge near Camden, NJ. It wasn't filthy, but there was a lot of activity inside and outside the place. Didn't sleep much.....maybe 1hr total all night.

[eclecticEel]

11. Your room reeks from the smell of bleach (which you believe is intended to mask an ever fouler oder).

[Nepeta]

I once stayed at a modest motel in the middle of Appalachian New York state. It was clean enough, but there was a mouse trap under the dresser.

My favorite motel of all was one in Amsterdam NY. I was with other people, and we were too tired to drive any farther. Big mistake. The room had no tv...they dragged in a small b&w portable. There were no towels...someone brought paper towels...there were no curtains over the bathroom window (maybe that is what the paper towels were really for)).

Menus were at the restaurant table in the morning. The waitress told us that those weren't their menus, but belonged to a place down the hill. Breakfast came along about 90 minutes later (by this time, it had become a game to see how long it would really take), nothing exotic, eggs, sausage, etc...but every plate had a lettuce lead on it.

[spectre]

Never stay at a motel that has Bill Board advertising:

WE HAVE CLEAN BEDS!

[N. Theknow]

You go to take a shower and the camera on your cell phone switches to black and white images.