Posted on 05/21/2010 11:11:00 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Why Cats Are Not Employed As Doctors
Valuable minutes lost in surgery as doctor furiously paws at nearby fly.
While informing patient's family of their loss, doctor suddenly loses interest and walks off.
In bid to become chief surgeon, doctor scent-marks entire hospital.
Doctor refuses to respond to own name during code blue.
Staff grows increasingly alarmed as doctor runs up and down hallway for no apparent reason.
Sensing colleagues' growing dissatisfaction with his work, doctor curls up against a radiator and goes to sleep.
Doctor raises hackles and bares teeth whenever new interns are introduced.
Doctor loses medical license after licking self, instruments clean.
So what have we learned? That cats are best employed in service industries? Certainly. But more importantly, always listen for meows when entering a hospital. The life you save may very well be your own.
(Excerpt) Read more at allbleedingstops.blogspot.com ...
I love these pics!
Yeah, like the Social Security office or the DMV.
Some days you teh kitteh, some days you teh cheezburger.
The Naming of Cats
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover—
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.
—T. S. Eliot
Weinie
I didn't think so!
LOL, Yorkie!!!!
LOL, Yorkie!!!!
LOL
Someone had to have a thread about cats on Caturday. LOL
He was playing with Schnitzel and had her mouth opened just like the cat in the picture, and said, "Ummmm! Ummmm! Ummmmm!!! Those tonsils need to come out!...and I don't know how to do it!"
I was so glad he realized his limitations! LOL!
paging catdancer to the thread, paging catdancer to the thread, stat...
;-)
I love this thread! I keep coming back to it and laughing hysterically because my kitties do all of these things! LOL! :)
Mine too (except for the marking).
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