Posted on 03/08/2010 6:24:55 PM PST by Kimmers
Why men are happy What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!!
You can get six days outta ‘em iffn you turns um inside out.
LLS
You forgot to add, “anytime, anywhere.” LOL
Yeah, going bald is such a blast....
My own from last week, speaking to an auto parts store manager:
“I don’t need a mechanic, I need an alternator.”
no expectation to have a Brazilian Bikini Wax (for those that do not know what this is it is ALL GONE—front and back.)
Frontwards, backwards, reverse it and do it again :>)
And we don’t worry about dust bunnies;)
Ok, can’t speak about deployments, but it used to befuddle my better-half that I could go on 2-3 week business trips around the world with only 2 dark suits, 5 shirts/ties, 5 pairs of underwear & socks, 1 pair of shoes, one pair of jeans for the weekends and a small ditty bag. All in a rolling bag carry-on; hotels will press your suits and do your laundry.
Our first vacation together overseas became a battle-royal about trying to keep the bag count under 5. LOL.
*chuckle* Yes, I’ve seen that first hand.....on MANY occasions. LOL! o.0
LOL. I always say that “they’re” safe from the dog under the couch.
A whole suitcase?
You know, I travel all over the place with just my lone rucksack - it's not even very large, no frame, just a canvas military style - I see these people lugging around these whole winnebagos around the airport and wonder why they're so attached to their stuff.
Here's a hint: To open almost any jar, turn it upside down and rap the lid sharply on a hard surface twice(has to be a pretty brisk rap) this will, believe it or not, break the vacuum seal and allow anyone to open the jar with ease. I learned that tip from my mother. I am a man and occasionally I resort to this trick, showed it to my daughter but she never raps the lid hard enough. Just FYI.
men are satisfied EVERYTIME they have sex
And men don’t have to fake it! (They can’t)
***** “ men are satisfied EVERYTIME they have sex “ ******
Nope, we get old and resort to faking it just so we can sleep too.
TT
**** “ (They can’t) “ *****
Who can’t?
I can fake “it” but I can’t fake “not it” pills or not... “it” does it’s job and the workman goes home, must be a Union dude cause he won’t stick around to help faking the “not it” no matter how much overtime I promise him, however cut him loose early and tell him that’s “it” and he is more than happy to leave.
TT
The same cannot be said of women...
Who cares!
Hair is something to be messed with...
I wear a hat, so I don’t need to get a haircut but once a year!
(sometimes I need to get them all cut though!)
I stand corrected.
Men know how to use paragraph breaks...just sayin’
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