Tiger Woods.
"I'm really, really sorry I boffed all those hot blonde chicks.
Again and again and again.
Please keep paying me big bucks for playing golf and selling shirts and stuff. Thank you very much."
Posted on 02/19/2010 1:39:51 AM PST by Sarah-bot
People should post their favorite joke on a thread.
Tiger Woods.
"I'm really, really sorry I boffed all those hot blonde chicks.
Again and again and again.
Please keep paying me big bucks for playing golf and selling shirts and stuff. Thank you very much."
“Medicine in my country is so advanced
that we can take a kidney out of one man,
put it in another, and have him looking for
work in six weeks.”
A German doctor says:
“That is nothing; we can take a lung
out of one person, put it in another, and
have him looking for work in four weeks.”
A Russian doctor says:
“In my country, medicine is so advanced
that we can take half a heart out of one
person, put it in another, and have them
both looking for work in two weeks.”
Well, I say top this!:
(Those guys are way behind.)
We recently took a man with
no brains out of ILLINOIS,
put him in the White House,
and within SIX MONTHS
half the COUNTRY is looking for work!
The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Liberal Democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" the man asks.
"That's the attitude we're looking for," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?
A monkey, because a gorilla wears a crash helmet.
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It's really not supposed to make sense...
The band was playing a huge outdoor gig at the waterfront in St. John, New Brunswick. Leader of the band Jack was signing autographs when he was approached by a "Sea Hag". Her hair was stringy, her face wrinkled and her teeth missing. She inched up along side of him and said, "I have a boat." He looked at her and said, "That's nice." She continued, "Want to go to my boat and drink beer?" "No thanks, I don't drink, he replied, but you see my guitar player, Mark, over there? You go ask him, he likes beer."
Off she went through the crowd. About five minutes later Mark came running up huffing and puffing, "Why did you do that?" He yelled. Jack looked at him all innocent, "Do what?" He asked. Mark exclaimed, "You siced that old woman on me and she tried to git me to go to her boat and drink beer with her." Jack asked, "Well, didn't you want to go?" "H**L NO!" Mark cried. Jack asked, "Why not?" To which the hapless young man answered, "I thought she would git me out on that boat and tell me to put out or git out, and I cain't swim!"
Ha Ha Ha!
New Answer for old joke!
Fatima and Aisha are having lunch together.
Fatima: How is your son, Ali?
Aisha:Ay Haram, He detonated a bomb at the border and is now with his 72 virgins. And how is your son Mahmoud?
Fatima: Ay yi yi, He too is a shahide. Exploded a bus in Tel Aviv.
Aisha: They BLOW UP so fast, don’t they.
I know. NOT PC.
LOL! Poor Mark.
Woooohoooo! Sock jokes rock! :)
We never stopped teasing him about the Sea Hag. That is my favorite “road story”, but only one of many. Traveling all over the country with 6 guys and a kid, was a joke in itself.
BTW. Allegra, I left the computer to go outside and watch the parade for our local National Guard, Field Service Company 1092. They are deploying to southwestern Asia on Monday. I cried like a baby as they marched by. The rest of the parade was just so much fluff. God bless these wonderful guys and gals. (all parades go by my front porch)
I like it!
How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one: but the light bulb has to really want to change
LOL!!
I know one joke; but I save it for just the right moment.
A preacher a Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender said, “What’s this? Some kind of joke?”
LOL - good one!
The humor of it, if there is any, is that it makes no sense whatsoever. I guess you have to be a little disturbed. Like me.
Glad you enjoyed it. Good to see I’m not the only nut out there.
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