Posted on 02/19/2010 1:39:51 AM PST by Sarah-bot
People should post their favorite joke on a thread.
Who's There?
(*snicker*)
A three legged dog walks into an old western saloon, hops up onto a bar stool and tells the bar tender “I’m lookin’ fer the man who shot my paw.”
Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
A skeleton enters a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
I'm guessing you're a fair bit younger than Piasa and I. During the cold war associating "red" with communist was a given, and the humor of the time reflected it....one of my favorite punchlines from the era:
"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear." ;-)
What’s black and white and red and can’t turn around in the hallway?
A Nun with a spear through her head!
From the Notre Dame student newspaper “The Observer”:
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
With a baseball bat!
Ok, I give up.
Nancy Pelosi and her chauffeur are driving along a country road.
Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop.
Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check--you were driving."
So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.
"You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer," says Nancy .
Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
"What happened to you?" asks Nancy .
The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a great meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Nancy .
"I just knocked on the door and when it opened I said to them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow."
René Descartes, weary from his academic labors, stops in at his favorite tavern. Dejected, he slumps on the barstool. The bartender wanders over and says “René, yer lookin’ so down, can I get you a beer on the house?” Descartes mumbles “I think not” and disappears.
Q: Why is a mouse when it spins?
A: The higher, the fewer.
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to climb the giraffe, the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
For some reason That is still so funny!! LMAO!
Hooowlll! LMAO!!
Who's There?
(*snicker*)
No, they're surfing for kiddie porn* and selling rights of all their songs to CSI spinoffs. (*Only kidding. I actually believe Townsend's explanation.)
I’m guessing the second floor at the Wives store caters to divorcees?
So this thread walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve threads.” So the string goes outside, twists himself in all sorts of loops, and walks back into the bar. The bartender says, “Aren’t you that piece of thread I just told to get out of here?” The thread answers, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”
...Rene Descartes was just following the thread...
...You’d’ve thought he’d’ve ducked...
...Which, just happens to look like a radio, except it doesn’t have any salt.
A rhino and an elephant are taking a shower together. The rhino says, “Please pass the soap.” And the elephant says, “No soap! Radio!”
PING
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