Why Santa Is A Conservative

[mountn man]

I've got a whiney Liberal (OK redundant) friend, who attacks conservatives and Republicans every chance he can. So we got into a discussion once (If there is such a thing as a "discussion" with a liberal) and I made the comment "that if conservatives were so bad, why doesn't he hate Santa Claus?"

His response is what I always expect right away from him, until he can think about something for awhile, "F**K You". So then he asked me how I knew that Santa was a conservative. I thought I'd share some of my thoughts.

1-Santa waits till everyones asleep and no ones around, to see him do his good deeds. If he were a liberal, he'd do it in broad daylight, hold a press conference, and wait for the tv and camera crews.

2-Santa gives toys and candy out using HIS OWN money and hard work. Libs would beg or steal from others, or expect subsidies, and then draw attention to themselves of how good and caring they are.

3-IF Santa WERE a liberal, he wouldn't fly around on a cold drafty sleigh, pulled by reigndeer, he'd be kickin it in a Gulfstream G5 (With a save the reigndeer sticker on it)

4-When you go to the mall and see Santa there, what does he do? He asks the boys and girls what they want for Christmas. Then he LISTENS. Liberals never listen. They just talk, talk, talk and talk some more.(Look at Barrack Obama, perfect example)

5-Santa hires elves. Liberals would never ACTUALLY hire a physically disadvantaged (unless it was a token employment) they just use disadvantaged for speeches and photo ops.

6-Santa believes in right and wrong. Todays Libs feel that the idea of right and wrong are quaint and outdated. They feel right and wrong, good and bad are all relative.

7-Santa gives to others from a sacrificial and giving heart, out of LOVE for others. Liberals believe everyone is ENTITLED to something.

8-Santa gives without expecting or demanding anything in return. When was the last time you saw a Liberal do anything, without expecting or demanding anything in return?

[jessduntno]

“I’ve got a whiney Liberal (OK redundant) friend...”

Why?

[RonnieFan]

Cleaver but I prefer P.J. O’Rourke’s take,

“I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God’s heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He’s cute. He’s nonthreatening. He’s always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he’s famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.”

[mountn man]

Because conservatives ACTUALLY ARE tolerant of others. Even if they are wrong and annoying.

[Roccus]

Santa Clause has a red suit
He’s a communist
And a beard, and long hair
Must be a pacifist
What’s in the pipe that he’s smoking?

[mountn man]

Santa Claus is another matter. He’s cute. He’s nonthreatening. He’s always cheerful.

Proof right there that Santa isn't a Democrat. When Dems can't have their own way they get threatening and bully.

Democrats ARE NEVER happy.

Studies have repeatedly shown that conservatives are happier and give more than liberals.

[Responsibility2nd]

Is Santa Claus a Democrat or Republican?

By John Lillpop | Published 12/10/2007 | Fun Stuff | Unrated

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, “clean and sober” since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat.

Satire by John W. Lillpop

While nearly everyone has weighed in with speculation as to the likely party affiliation of Jesus, not much has been written about Santa Clause.

Would the jolly old man be a Democrat or a Republican?

Consider Santa’s Democrat tendencies:

* Is a multilingual globalist

* Exploits children to enhance his public image and retain power

* Works just one night a year

* Hangs around with and employs fairies (elves)

* Illegally crosses U.S. borders every year

Then, consider Santa’s Republican tendencies:

* Is a fat, old white guy who probably drinks too much and hates change

* Conspires with big business once a year to rip-off millions of average Americans

* Considers himself “compassionate” although he pays his elves far below minimum wage

* Lives in a foreign land (North pole) to avoid paying U.S. taxes

* Values the bottom line over the environment. Think about all those reindeer droppings

The fact is that Santa seems split fairly evenly between Democrat and Republican. In that sense, the old boy reflects America almost perfectly!

http://www.chronwatch-america.com/articles/2125/1/Is-Santa-Claus-a-Democrat-or-Republican/Page1.html

[mountn man]

Santa wears red, because Mrs. Claus made the suit for him. The North Pole is all white and snowy. Mrs. Claus being a woman, is worrisome, so she figured red would hel0p her spot her husband in the bad weather.

Jesus had long hair and a beard. Besides, if you lived at the North Pole, I'm sure you'd have long hair and a beard to.

What’s in the pipe that he’s smoking?

Now that is a good question. He does always seem to have a case of the munchies.

[usconservative]

I've got a whiney Liberal (OK redundant) friend

Stop right there. Do yourself a favor and disassociate yourself from this person, it'll be one of the best things you could do for yourself.

After the last election, any of my "friends" that admitted to voting for Obama became ex-friends. They voted to destroy the country, I don't want to associate with those people.

[Yaelle]

Santa wants every child to have a present. He doesn’t prefer darker or poorer kids. He wants them all to have fun.

[RonnieFan]

They are those things in their imaginations

[Yaelle]

Santa shows up at work no matter the weather, and is not afraid of long hours. He never strikes. When working conditions get tough (fog), he uses good old American ingenuity to come up with a technical solution (Rudolph) and keeps on trucking.

[Yaelle]

Rather than beg for perqs from a union, Santa accepts what is given him on merit alone, be it cookies and milk or a little hit of Scotch.

[SunTzuWu]

He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo.

That right there destroys your arguement.

[Roccus]

Now that is a good question. He does always seem to have a case of the munchies.

.....and, he's always smiling!

[Kirkwood]

I never knew he hired elves. Guess I missed that part of the mythology. Does Santa also provide a retirement package and medical insurance?

[jessduntno]

Because conservatives ACTUALLY ARE tolerant of others. Even if they are wrong and annoying. You are right, of course, conservatives are tolerant...we still have Snowe and Collins in the Republican Party and conservatives won't insist they get dumped. And look what happens. Wouldn't be good to be intolerant of our more liberal brethren, though, I suppose...good point...I am not as tolerant as you, I think...I hope that doesn't mean I am not a conservative, though, because I think I am...just a cranky old bstrd of a conservative that can't tolerate libs long enough to talk to them...maybe some day I'll mellow out, but I hate those bstrds. I really do. I freely admit it, you're a better man than I.

[Freepmanchew]

I like it, and I am going to share it with my liberal friends, er, umm, OK my liberals acquaintances.

[jessduntno]

Alright, maybe I would talk to one...if I had to...but I wouldn’t like it. And it is a good line...nahhhhhhhhh...screw the bstrds.

[EmilyGeiger]

Good points, thanks~