Posted on 12/11/2009 4:41:32 AM PST by Lucky9teen
"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'" ~ Dave Barry
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven." ~ W. C. Fields
"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." ~ Joan Rivers.
"Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it." ~ Richard Lamm
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven." ~ W.C. Fields
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." ~ Jay Leno.
"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?" ~ Arlo Guthrie
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." ~ Bernard Manning.
"Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family... " Berke Breathed
You Are a Christmas Sweater! |
Over the top, colorful, and totally flashy. You're not afraid to be a little tacky. |
Top5!
FOUR!
oops. I mean SIX!
We win!!! I love it when we win!!!
Top 10
I always got in trouble if I had my spock out.
This thread makes Fridays worthwhile ;-)
Yea!! I made it through another week. One more and I get some vacation time!
Vacation at Christmastime. Excellent!
Oh great! Now you gone and done it. I will never be able to see the Rockettes again without thinking back at your post. Some people like to ruin everything.
LOLOL!!!! Now,THAT works!
In the lane, snow is glistening.
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight..
Walken in a Winter Wonderland...
Howdy Doody!
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