6 Adorable Cat Behaviors With Shockingly Evil Explanations

Cracked.com ^ | Dec 07, 2009 | Matthew Hayden

[Slings and Arrows]

There seem to be two kinds of people in the world: those who don't understand cats, and those who think cats are kind of douchebags.

Unfortunately for cat lovers, science has kind of come down on the side of that second group. Research has revealed that a lot of the quirky and even cute things your kitty does are actually signs that your cat is kind of a d***.

[Daffynition]

They control all the apps in your life.

[Slings and Arrows]

[MissDairyGoodnessVT]

ebil tings luv lil’mousies

[Slings and Arrows]

If they could just make ‘em with bigger batteries...

[Slings and Arrows]

[Son House]

Cats are just another type of animal, people who say they ‘hate cats’ really hate themselves

[Jimmy Valentine]

Well, there is that theory that cats are just tiny little women wearing fur coats.............

[autumnraine]

FUNNY!!!

[paulycy]

Cats love murder.

Perhaps those cute little fuzzballs are the Spawn of Hell?

[bytesmith]

I now have over 10 cats, and counting.
Eight are juvenile.
They get fresh fish, usually morning and evening.
Talk about pandemonium at feeding time....

Good to hear. We have two very important feline members of our family. Both are rescue kittys. Cats respond over time to kindness and understanding. Unfortunately for them, they often require patience and thoughtful attention on our part to understand their needs. Once we accomplish those challenges, we will have a wonderful companion that requires minimal maintenance. A good book is “The Cat Whisperer: The Secret of How to Talk to Your Cat by Claire Bessant”.

[Mercat]

I do notice that when I’m sick, my cat really really loves me which I have long recognized as predator behavior.

[Thermalseeker]

They are evil miniacle creatures.

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.....

[TheOldLady]

Great site. Did you check out the other links at the bottom of the cat story? Superpowers! Diabolical Predators! New Substances! Totally cool.

And I’m booking passage on that nuke-’em-from-space rocket as we speak.

[TheOldLady]

This is so true. I’d tell you about Muffin and the roaches, but it’s too horrible to even remember.

At least we didn’t eat any. They were wiggling and woke us up.

[I Buried My Guns]

Last night, I could hear the cat pouncing and making rustling noises in our bedroom as we slept (or TRIED to sleep). It really got me POed, and I was about to get up and drop kick her, but I had the thought "Whatever Punkin is killing right now is better off dead than crawling on my face while I sleep".

This morning I saw it: The biggest cockroach I have ever seen. When my wife gave it a coup de grace with a shoe it actually burst out a gloppy stream of brown gut-goo. Totaly gross.

Anyway, cats have a purpose: to keep cockroaches off my face at night.

[I Buried My Guns]

PS: My cat is named Muffin too! Can I be in your crazy cat lady club?

[Fawn]

This is such B S! I have never met an evil cat and I know hundreds since I foster, feed and trap them.

[TheOldLady]

You and Mrs. Guns are most welcome in the crazy cat... uh.. person club. Hubby and I are very fond of our four cats.

P.S. They’re both waiting at the Rainbow Bridge, but my Muffin was a male, and his companion, Tiger was female. Don’t ask.

[a fool in paradise]

My cat will purposely walk in front of you and slow down so you have to wait for it and lots of times it will cater wall like it is starving to death and I put a fresh can of food down that I know the cat likes and it looks at it and walks away.

Sounds like some Democrats.

[Slings and Arrows]

I did. Cracked has...interesting...articles, and it’s been a while since I was there.