Posted on 11/13/2009 7:38:44 AM PST by Reaganesque
Freberg: Just kidding, just kidding. But it's great to be with you tonight. We have a special--
Tweedly: Pardon me, Mr. Freberg, but my name is Tweedly.
Freberg: Well, we all have our problems.
Tweedly: I am the censor from the citizens radio committee. And, um... I feel--
Freberg: You uh... from the citizens radio committee, you say?
Tweedly: That's exactly what I said, yes. I--
Freberg: And what is your purpose in being here?
Tweedly: I must okay all the material used on your program here, and I think the best method is to just sit back here and interrupt when I feel it's necessary.
Freberg: You mean you plan to stop me every time I do something that YOU think is wrong?
Tweedly: Exactly. I'll just sound my little horn like this (buzzer). And then you stop, and I'll tell you what's wrong.
Freberg: Uh, somehow I can tell this is gonna be one of those days.
Tweedly: You just go right ahead, Mr. Freberg. Don't mind me.
Freberg: Yeah, now I'd like to sing-- (buzzer)
Tweedly: You forgot to say "thank you", Mr. Freberg. Politeness is an essential in radio programming. Your program goes into the home, we must be a good influence on... children.
Freberg: Why, that's a darling little horn there.
Tweedly: Mmm-hmm.
Freberg: Thanks very much, Mr. Tweedly.
Tweedly: You're welcome, I'm sure.
Freberg: I'd like to sing a old river song in honor of this week of National Mississippi Riverboat Paddlewheel Week. Mr., may I, if you please?
Tweedly: Very polite, Mr. Freberg.
Freberg: Thank you.
Old man river, that old-- (buzzer)
Freberg:All right, Tweedly, politeness I dig, but what in the world is wrong with "old man river"?
Tweedly: The word "old" has a connotation that some of the more elderly people find distasteful. I would suggest you make the substitution, please.
Freberg: I suppose you insist.
Tweedly: Precisely. You may continue.
Freberg: Okay, music (buzzer).
Tweedly: You forgot to say--
Freberg: Thank you, yes, okay. Thank you, Mr. Tweedly.
Tweedly: You're quite welcome, I am sure.
Freberg: Elderly man river, that elderly man river.
He must know somethin', but he don't say nothin'. (buzzer)
Freberg:All right, hold it, fellas. Now what, Tweedly?
Tweedly: The word "something", you left off the G.
Freberg: But that's authentic. "Somethin'," "someTHIN'". That's the way the people... talk down there.
Tweedly: I'm sorry. The home is a classroom, Mr. Freberg.
Freberg: I know, you said that.
Tweedly: Keep in mind the tiny tots. And... But furthermore, think back. You'll recall that you said "but he don't say nothin'".
Freberg: Mmm-hmm.
Tweedly: Now, really, Mr. Freberg, that's a double negative. Do you mean he DOES say something?
Freberg: No, I just wasn't using my head, I guess.
Tweedly: I mean, after all, it should be grammatically correct, keeping in mind--
Freberg: The tiny tots, yes.
Tweedly: You probably mean he doesn't say anything.
Freberg: I don't-- I suppose I mean that, yes, I guess. All right, uh fine, you win. All right, Billy, music (buzzer). Thank you, thank you.
Tweedly: You're welcome, I'm sure.
Freberg: Elderly man river, that elderly man river
He must know something, but he doesn't say anything
He just keeps rollin'-- rolling,
He just keeps rolling along.
He don't (buzzer) doesn't plant taters-- potatoes,
He doesn't plant cotton/cotting,
And then these/those that plants them are soon forgotting.
But elderly man river, he just keeps rolling along.
Tweedly: Excellent!
Freberg: Thank you...You and me-- (buzzer)
The uh, the tiny tots again, was it?
Tweedly: Exactly.
Freberg: Sorry about that, here we go.
You and I; we sweat, (buzzer) perspire and strain
Body's all aching and wracked with pain. Well, we got by that one.
Tote that barge, lift that bail!
You get a little... [he slows down and stops here, since the rest of it is "drunk and you land in jail".]
Okay, take your finger off the button, Mr. Tweedly. We know when we're licked. Well, that concludes "Elderly Man River" (buzzer). Oh, yes, and thank you for being with us, Mr. Tweedly.
Tweedly: You're welcome, I'm sure.
Stan Freberg, for those who don't know who he is, was one of the funniest satrists of the 50's and 60's. He remains to this day as one of my all time favorites along side Tom Lehrer and many others. If anyone can post the audio of "Elderly Man River," I would greatly appreciate it.
******
"...we must be a good influence on... children."
LOL "for the children"
"Freberg: Why, that's a darling little horn there.
Tweedly: Mmm-hmm."
LOL, forgot one Mmm.
Bless you my son!! LOL
‘We wish you a Merry Christmas...and please buy our beer!”
...and all of us had our hearts set on roast eagle with all the trimmings!
I grew up with “Stan Freberg Modestly Presents: The United States of America.” I never had a chance for a normal life. ;-)
Must listen-Stan Freberg’s history of the USA:
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/user/RMphy89#p/u/25/PUCe5OaKldM
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/user/RMphy89#p/u/35/QjNKzsWa5A8
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/user/RMphy89#p/u/34/6ESaZSB3h2k
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/user/RMphy89#p/u/27/_Brp5DmGI_o
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/user/RMphy89#p/u/25/PUCe5OaKldM
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/user/RMphy89#p/u/24/E4Cm5Esh_XQ
Part 7: http://www.youtube.com/user/RMphy89#p/u/23/WIbGLWDMHzk
Deck the halls with advertising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
‘Tis the time for merchandising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Profit never needs a reason,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Get the money, it’s the season,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
I still have a fantasy to go back to the days of Jay Ward Studios (Rocky and Bullwinkle, George of the Jungle) and be a fly on the wall during a writer’s meeting with Jay Ward and Stan and the others.
Interestingly (or not), I once read of an earlier case of PC-ness from an unlikely source.
Howard Fast, who was a novelist (probably best known for the novels Spartacus and Citizen Tom Paine) and also a member of the Communist Party, was routinely harangued by the party over his non-PC writings. Fast was once brought up on charges of “White Chauvanism” by the Party for referring to a young black child as a boy in one of his works. Fast’s argument was that since the character was seven years old, he was indeed a boy and it was absurd to connect it in any way with the racist habit of calling black men “boy”.
That was in the late 1930’s. Funny how the kneejerks haven’t changed their tune in 70 years.
Gotta see it.
"You're a business man. Christmas is something to take advantage of!"
Freburg interviewing Bob Crane about “Hogan’s Heros.”
FREBERG: Where does the show take place?
BOB CRANE: In a Nazi prisoner of war camp in Germany.
FREBERG: Always a good situation comedy locale. What are some of the amusing ingredients?
CRANE: Oh, German police dogs... machine guns... the Gestapo...
FREBERG: Just a few of the laugh-provoking elements to be seen this fall on Hogan’s Heroes, Friday nights on CBS. Shall we say, “If you liked World War II, you’ll love Hogan’s Heroes?
CRANE: No, let’s not say that, no.”
ping
It’s been a long time since I saw the name Stan Freberg. He was always very funny.
His bit about draining a lake and the giant maraschino cherry was made into a ‘you saw it on the radio’ commercial and is still played in my area.
The voice is instantly recognizable.
His “Face the Funnies” album was a true classic. It had Elderly Man River on it and several other hilarious parodies.
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