$$$$ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd$$$$

National Donut Day ^

[Lucky9teen]

In light of Obama's "America Is A Muslim Country & Apology" Tour...

It goes without saying that Muslims are perhaps the least humorous folk on Earth; whereas Jews have learned to laugh at themselves, even turning that laughter into a business: Vaudeville. When I was growing up, my father never failed to tell me at least three jokes a day, most of them involving Jews and their eccentricities, customs, and travails. I'd like to continue that long tradition of Jews telling jokes, but with Muslims as the butt of the joke. You can't be civilized until you can laugh at yourself.

Perhaps in this way, someday, even radical fundamentalist Muslims may find themselves laughing. In fact, it would do my heart good to hear that a billion Muslims laughed themselves to death.

Many of these are probably in poor taste, to which I say tough camel titties.

Q: What do female Muslims use for birth control?
A: Their faces. [See photo above.]

Q. What's the difference between an American BBQ and an Islamic BBQ?
A. In America, Humans roast animals over a fire. In Islam, it's the other way around.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Moore and a one ton CARE package?
A. Michael Moore, if sliced real thin, can feed a larger Afghan village.

A Muslim father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind."
The child says, "Abu, I'm over here."

Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What's toilet paper?

Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Government can do it all by themselves, thank you.

Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?”

She replied, “Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”

Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

George W. Bush and Tony Blair are at a White House dinner. One of the important guests walks over to them and asks what they are talking about.
"We are making up the plans for WW III", says Bush.
"Wow", says the guest. "And what are the plans?"
"We are gonna kill 140 million Muslims and one dentist", answers Bush.
The guest looks to be a bit confused. One...dentist?" He says. "Why will you kill one dentist?"
Blair pats Bush on the shoulder and says, "What did I tell you? Nobody is gonna ask about the Muslims."

[CSM]

Mmmm, now I am hungry.

[synbad600]

I never stress about my diet, especially after I’ve eaten.

[Dead Corpse]

Evil donut...

[relictele]

PREPARE FOR THE WEEKEND READY...STEADY....GO!

[Travis T. OJustice]

THIS is a SERIOUSLY evil donut!

[j_guru]

[sunny48]

Nice start and a good morning to ya’ll.

[sunny48]

I got this in an email, don’t know if it’s true, but I’d like to think so.

Here’s a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent inter-action between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a D.C. airport. There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets, on the evils of America .. I politely declined to take one.

The elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman’s shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice the young lady said, “Lady, don’t you care about the children of Iraq?”

The old woman looked up at her and said, “Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea , and a son in Vietnam . All three died so a bitch like you could have the right to stand here and badmouth our country. If you touch me again, I’ll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it.”

~God Bless America ~

[CTOCS]

This thread brought to you by “Radio Tel-Aviv” - 1500 on your dial - but for you, 1499...

[sunny48]

Sooo,
This gay guy goes into see the doctor and he has a nicotine patch on his penis.
The doctor says, That’s not where that goes!
The gay guy says, Well it works for me, I’m down to 2 butts a day.

[girlscout]

I’ll take one of each please. :-)

[TornadoAlley3]

*

[Shyla]

Yummmm, donuts.

[girlscout]

One of my greatest weaknesses.

Happy National Donut day!

[Bean Counter]

[girlscout]

For those who need a little extra help to get them through a stressful work day.

Song

[mylife]

Your Majesty is like a cream donut....

[paulycy]

Elvis donut: Peanut butter glazed donut topped with banana and bacon.

[Deaf Smith]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”
He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows
or of some unspeakable disease.”
That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your
mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” -
Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary.” - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading
it.” - Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
it.” - Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” - Oscar
Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend.... if you have one.” - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.”
- Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” -
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” -
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” -
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” - Count
Talleyrand about Rose

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
- Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar
Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather
than illumination.” - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” - Groucho
Marx

[workerbee]