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1 posted on 05/30/2009 6:21:59 PM PDT by navysealdad
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To: navysealdad
Very funny and mostly true. The only thing I'd disagree with is that no self-respecting man would ever venture into the dreaded mall to buy a pair of pants. Especially at the Gap!
2 posted on 05/30/2009 6:28:11 PM PDT by SamAdams76 (I am 72 Days Away from Outliving David Bowie's guitarist (Mick Ronson))
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To: navysealdad


4 posted on 05/30/2009 6:30:31 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - Obama is basically Jim Jones with a teleprompter)
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To: navysealdad
Don't worry, she's in charge!

Photobucket

8 posted on 05/30/2009 6:35:08 PM PDT by SkyDancer ('Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not..' ~ Thomas Jefferson)
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To: navysealdad

Where’s the pseudo-Desi Arnaz “Not this $@!@ again” guy?


9 posted on 05/30/2009 6:35:26 PM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
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To: navysealdad

Junk, My husband can outspend any woman on golf, golf and golf.


11 posted on 05/30/2009 6:36:29 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote.)
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To: navysealdad

I’ve been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?


12 posted on 05/30/2009 6:38:07 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: devolve; ntnychik; PhilDragoo; Lady Jag; navysealdad

13 posted on 05/30/2009 6:41:28 PM PDT by potlatch
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To: navysealdad
Husband 1: My wife is an angel

Husband 2: You're lucky man, mine is still alive.

16 posted on 05/30/2009 6:47:48 PM PDT by muir_redwoods ( Hey, remember the last head of state who dictated the design of automobiles?)
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To: navysealdad
I love the way mark Gungor explains it in his video series how to laugh your way to a better marriage.

THIS IS FUNNY AND OH SO TRUE Mark Gungor - Men's Brain Women's Brain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc

28 posted on 05/30/2009 8:04:14 PM PDT by NavyCanDo
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To: navysealdad

I am not this woman. Never have been! I think the stereotypes are funny anyway.


30 posted on 05/30/2009 8:18:36 PM PDT by samiam1972 ("It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."-Mother Teresa)
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To: navysealdad

Another difference: Women live longer then men. They don’t live with women.


31 posted on 05/30/2009 8:31:52 PM PDT by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: navysealdad

You know my wife?


33 posted on 05/30/2009 8:42:38 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: navysealdad

34 posted on 05/30/2009 8:46:34 PM PDT by reagan_fanatic (When you put Democrats in charge, stupid things happen)
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To: navysealdad

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.”

“After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.”

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

**********************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.


44 posted on 05/31/2009 8:12:27 AM PDT by catnipman
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