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Post some good jokes

Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comicrelief; freepun; humor; jokes; molassesmiasma; monkeyface; monkeyfacerules; penguinhumor; sionnsar; trolltimer; undeadthreadapril; zot; zotemifyougotem; zotthenewbie
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To: sionnsar

Ouch.

Me, I have remarkably bad teeth.
(Milk allergies, a wonderful thing.)

I’m also terrified of dentists.
So far, my dentist has been extremely good.
Four wisdom teeth removed at a specialist.
They were alarmed at how much sedative/anaesthetic it took to sedate me.
Then they looked at my hair color.
Apparently, my red tones were visible that day as they said simply, “Aht, redhead.”
Medical science says evidence points to redheads being somewhat resistant to sedatives.
(Wonder why.. and my experiences show it to have some basis.)

Good luck, your gag reflex has got to be far beyond mine if the digitals nailed you.


481 posted on 04/02/2009 5:14:47 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: sionnsar; Monkey Face; Tax-chick; Pippin
"As well as the cleaning we're working on my gag reflex -- if we can get that under control they can then take x-rays."

Look, just take a little note pad with you, and when you think of a joke write it down.

Soon your gag reflex will be under control, and you'll be a model patient. It's probably just nerves anyway.

Dentists are the easiest audience in the world. They never hear any new material.

482 posted on 04/02/2009 5:18:52 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
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To: Darksheare
Interesting.

I don't mind dentists at all, except for the gagging.

I had 8 teeth removed once, four corner teeth and four impacted molars (my teeth were too large for my jaw). Interesting about the sedation element -- my beard was red, and I woke up near the end of operation.

483 posted on 04/02/2009 5:20:47 PM PDT by sionnsar (Iran Azadi | 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | "Also sprach Telethustra" - NonValueAdded)
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To: sionnsar

I won’t go to “him and his employer.”
I’m about ready for beddy!
*sigh*
I got more done than I thought I would, today. But not enough to soothe my soul.....


484 posted on 04/02/2009 5:21:24 PM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Darksheare

Heh!
I KNOW redheads are resistent to pain-killers! I ARE one!
Takes longer to put me out, twice the dose to put me under and I come to a LOT faster!


485 posted on 04/02/2009 5:24:52 PM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: sionnsar

They hit me with novocaine, then sweet gas, and then they ‘tested’ the IV solution.
Apparently, the test was a little weird as the tech asked if it was too much, and I kept showing zero response.
Then they tweaked the mix of sweet gas, and hit me with the full syringe of solution mainlined into the injection gasket on the wrist tap instead of into the bag like they’d planned.
Then they watched me nervously and discussed my bodyweight being wrong for the amount they’d hit me with.
After ten full minutes of me grinning at them, they tweaked the gas mix some more and finally hit on the mix that slowed me down some.
I guess I gave them a start.
Wish they could have seen me on codeine, that’s a real treat.
(Hyper speed activated! New abilities unlocked! Wall climb initiated!)


486 posted on 04/02/2009 5:25:37 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Monkey Face; sionnsar

Another one!

I’m lucky in that I can hide my red.
Usually.
Frightens the nurses when I grab their wrists as they’re checking the pulse of what should be an incoherent quivering blob of D-sheare shaped jello.


487 posted on 04/02/2009 5:27:15 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: NicknamedBob
Soon your gag reflex will be under control, and you'll be a model patient. It's probably just nerves anyway.

No. It is very real, believe me. I'm not saying it doesn't have a psychological trigger, but it's not nerves. Dentists these days are a piece of cake, compared to the old days of rotary drills and the like. And a whole lot easier than the orthodontists of 35 years ago. And I may have a higher dental pain threshold than most.

Dentists are the easiest audience in the world. They never hear any new material.

LOL.

488 posted on 04/02/2009 5:28:20 PM PDT by sionnsar (Iran Azadi | 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | "Also sprach Telethustra" - NonValueAdded)
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To: Darksheare

Codeine. Yah. Now THERE’s a concept to be leery of...Especially with ME. I’ll bounce off the ceiling before they can even strap me in....


489 posted on 04/02/2009 5:28:26 PM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Monkey Face; Pippin; sionnsar; radu

Hmm.. experiment time!
Radu, Pippin... your mission, should you choose to accept it -and even if you dont- is to take note of your responses to sedation during any medical activities you may have.
Prior experiences count.
Heard tell that redheads need more sedatives to be ‘put down’ for surgery, and our purpose here -for my “been awake for 24 hours” brain- is to see if our collective experiences match.


490 posted on 04/02/2009 5:31:23 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: sionnsar; Darksheare

Dentists have nothing new to offer me. My pain threshold is off the charts when it comes to mouth work. Do NOT say, “This may hurt just a little.”


491 posted on 04/02/2009 5:31:58 PM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Monkey Face

Albuterol Sulphate.
Instant warp speed, with heart racing action to boot.
Pirbuterol has same effect, but lasts shorter.
(But you can BREATHE while on it. Especially if you live near a battery manufacture plant like I did at the time.)
The other side effects, besides constant warp speed, were inability to concentrate or remember anything as well as insane strength.
Example, brass bedframe complete with boxspring and mattress = easily tossed with one arm.
Hated the stuff.


492 posted on 04/02/2009 5:34:40 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare; redhead

And they wouldn’t “match” because you’re not a “real” redhead???


493 posted on 04/02/2009 5:34:56 PM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Monkey Face; Darksheare

I don’t seem to have much of that, but then I’ve only been under twice in my life, and both times a long time ago.


494 posted on 04/02/2009 5:35:29 PM PDT by sionnsar (Iran Azadi | 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | "Also sprach Telethustra" - NonValueAdded)
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To: Monkey Face; sionnsar

Pain, I’m outta there.
Violently.
(More than one doc has yelled “SECURIIIITY!!!” upon not heeding my warnings.)
Dose me enough that I don’t feel it, I’m more than fine.
But still quite scared!


495 posted on 04/02/2009 5:36:47 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare

As long as they don’t give me nitrous oxide. That stuff will string me out to the point that I’ll be racing the local thoroughbreds at the nearest track.

The dentist usually says, “This is OK. It’s a gas. Just relax.”

Right. Meanwhile, I’m trying to tell him he is SO EFFING WRONG!!!


496 posted on 04/02/2009 5:38:12 PM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Monkey Face; redhead

I have a winter dark phase, and a summer crimson phase.
My hair tone is medium dark brown with red highlights.
So, not a ‘real’ redhead.
But considering I have six or so uncles/greatuncles with bright red hair, it seems I have been backhanded by genetics.


497 posted on 04/02/2009 5:38:51 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Monkey Face; Darksheare
Codeine. Yah. Now THERE’s a concept to be leery of...Especially with ME. I’ll bounce off the ceiling before they can even strap me in....

I can agree. They gave me some pills with codeine after my oral surgery to get me through the next three days. I still don't know why I didn't get any bruises to my head from floating up to the ceiling that weekend.

498 posted on 04/02/2009 5:40:11 PM PDT by sionnsar (Iran Azadi | 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | "Also sprach Telethustra" - NonValueAdded)
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To: Darksheare

My hair started out as bald, blonde, brunette, and finally DARK auburn. (I have photos of the progression!)

Now it is partially gray, but if I’m in the sunlight, the RED is there!


499 posted on 04/02/2009 5:41:03 PM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Monkey Face

!


500 posted on 04/02/2009 5:41:32 PM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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