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Post some good jokes

Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comicrelief; freepun; humor; jokes; molassesmiasma; monkeyface; monkeyfacerules; penguinhumor; sionnsar; trolltimer; undeadthreadapril; zot; zotemifyougotem; zotthenewbie
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To: Dead Corpse; Monkey Face

Morning coffee and invading creature bloodshed.
What more could a guy want?


421 posted on 04/02/2009 9:13:21 AM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare

That would probably be the same song that is stuck in MY head. FReepmail me all the lyrics, would you? I can’t remember them.

LOL!


422 posted on 04/02/2009 9:16:22 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Dead Corpse

Mmmm! Brekkity of Champions!


423 posted on 04/02/2009 9:16:58 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Pippin

;o]


424 posted on 04/02/2009 9:17:21 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Darksheare; Monkey Face
What more could a guy want?

Do you want the short list? Or the unabridged version?

425 posted on 04/02/2009 9:18:14 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (1000110010101010100001001001111)
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To: Monkey Face

How else are you going to put the holes into the Cheerios?


426 posted on 04/02/2009 9:18:43 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (1000110010101010100001001001111)
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To: A_cool_guy

*The Dead Horse*

*Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer
agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad
news... The horse died.”
*
*Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”
*
*The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
*
*Chuck said, “Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.”
*
*The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
*
*Chuck said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
*
*The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
*
*Chuck said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
*
*A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, “What happened with
that dead horse?”
*
*Chuck said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece
and made a profit of $998.”
*
*The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
*
*Chuck said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
*
*Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He’s the one who figured
out how this “bail-out” is going to work.
*


427 posted on 04/02/2009 9:19:36 AM PDT by mojitojoe ( Idiots elected a Marxist ideologue with narcissistic personality disorder & America is dying.)
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To: Dead Corpse; Monkey Face

Well, besides nigh unlimited ammo, massive firepower, and perfect coffee?


428 posted on 04/02/2009 9:20:05 AM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Monkey Face

Sent.
It’s all your fault this time.


429 posted on 04/02/2009 9:22:39 AM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare; Monkey Face; Pippin

Well, I'm off to Girl Scouts! Would someone give Fluffy a snack? He whacked a troll over in the Religion Forum earlier, so he's hungry!

430 posted on 04/02/2009 9:24:31 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." ~Sam Brown)
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To: Non-Sequitur

Dipsey Blond is driving along in the country when she spots a grass fire along the side of the road. She stops and uses her cell phone to report the fire. The Fire Department dispatcher ask her, “How do we get there, Mame”. To which she replys “Duh, in the Big Red Truck”!


431 posted on 04/02/2009 9:24:34 AM PDT by smug (smug for President; Your only real hope)
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To: Monkey Face
RETURNED!!!

free dixie SMOOCH,sw

432 posted on 04/02/2009 9:28:22 AM PDT by stand watie (Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
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To: Tax-chick

*Dramatic chord*

Not the... Girl Scouts?!

*Horrified screams*

They’re everywhere!
Amost as bad as the ninjas infesting my cupboards!
I open a cupboard, there’s a ninja!
Open the fridge, there’s a ninja!
Open my window, eek! Girlscout! With chainsaw appendage upgrades, heat seeking ability, and the truly frightening laser sight!


433 posted on 04/02/2009 9:28:24 AM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: smug

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2220747/posts
Some just write themselves!


434 posted on 04/02/2009 9:29:21 AM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: smug

Dipsey Blond calls her boyfriend and she’s in tears. “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started. Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” Dipsey Blond replies, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster. But it’s really, really hard. I need your help.” Boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and she’s still in tears. Sobbing, shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. Boyfriend studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to Dipsey Blond and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster. So, I want you to relax, take a deep breath, and stop crying. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then ...”, he says with a deep sigh, “...let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”


435 posted on 04/02/2009 9:31:51 AM PDT by Non-Sequitur
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To: Monkey Face

Horrible song to have stuck in your head.
So I’m drowning it out with Alice in Chains.


436 posted on 04/02/2009 9:31:55 AM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: FreeWater

LOL


437 posted on 04/02/2009 9:35:51 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: Dead Corpse

“What am I going to do with you?”

“I’ll make a list!”


438 posted on 04/02/2009 9:41:27 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: Darksheare

Check your mail...


439 posted on 04/02/2009 9:42:37 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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To: stand watie

Hi, sw!

*hug*


440 posted on 04/02/2009 9:43:48 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.)
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