Post some good jokes

[A_cool_guy]

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy

[Tax-chick]

Well, I’m off to put my feet up and work on a list of the dozen things I need to do tomorrow! I don’t want to forget anything important.

[sionnsar]

And if you start crashing, I really do hope you go home. No sense in making things worse. This is only Monday. (ohno)

Made it, but got little done outside of catching up with e-mail and filing expense reports. Started in on answering questions via e-mail prior to an industry magazine interview, but didn't get very far.

It's a short week for me -- Friday is my first furlough day. Depending upon the weather I might crack open the Java book and start learning a "new" programming language.

[sionnsar]

Just drat! Headed home I saw what just had to be rain ahead. But because it's to the east it was a fairly sure bet that if it wasn't already raining at home it wasn't going to. Checked the weather radar and yup... it's sitting to the east of us, moving ever so slightly to the SE, and just not going to come here.

It was odd when I left work. I'd parked the car in the back of the building, where there are no trees for some distance. Yet there was still a fair amount of pollen on the windshield. We must have had some wind come through during the afternoon.

[sionnsar]

Ha. I made up a list of things to do/buy for when I went out at lunch. And left it in the office.

[Monkey Face]

It sounds like lists are things not to make on Mondays.
If I didn’t have lists, I couldn’t function. Even WITH lists, I can’t function! LOL!

[sionnsar]

Oh, the making of the list was good enough. It was the handling that failed. Jet-lag, don’cha know. I knew my brain wasn’t running anywhere 100%, so I put off until tomorrow a couple of e-mails that require much thought & analysis. I figure consecutive 26 hours of daylight is a good excuse.

[Monkey Face]

Walp. I’m off to bed.
See y’all tomorrow!

[Monkey Face]

Twenty-six hours of daylight would ruin me for sure!

[sionnsar]

Oidhche mhath! (Good night!)

Mmmmph mmmph mmmmmmph mph mmmphmmmph. (And don't bite any bedbugs.)

[sionnsar]

I had more than that last year returning home from Bangalore, and that was absolutely brutal. I think 9-hour timezone shifts is the limit to my “comfort” regime, though 9 hours itself is not fun.

[Monkey Face]

I promise! The bedbugs will be safe.
You have a good night, too, sion!
I’m glad you’re back.

[Monkey Face]

Ick!
Somehow, I managed to sleep on BA, both legs of both trips. I didn’t sleep long at a time, but it seems it was enough to adjust my “clock.”

Anyway, I’m gone!

[sionnsar]

G’night! I’m not far behind you, held back only by lack of dinner. And I may soon “nap” until then.

[Not A Snowbird]

Obviously the rare, yellow, airborne swine pollen.

Save yourself.

[Randy Larsen]

Bathtub Test
>
>
> >
> >>
> >> The Bathtub Test
> >>
> >> During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do
> >> You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
> >>
> >> “Well,” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
> >> teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
> >> empty the bathtub.”
> >>
> >> “Oh, I understand,” I said.
> >>
> >> “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the
> >> spoon or the teacup.”
> >>
> >> “No.” said the director, “A normal person would pull the plug.
> >>
> >> Do you want a bed near the window?”

[Dead Corpse]

Nope. Not this time. I may try and talk her into it for next year. Not really her “thing” though...

[NicknamedBob]

"Well, I’m off to put my feet up and work on a list of the dozen things I need to do tomorrow! I don’t want to forget anything important."

I always start my lists off this way:

• 1.) Burn List

[Tax-chick]

Off to get my list out ...

[Darksheare]

1.) Look at list that was handed to me.
2.) Beat list maker with cold biscotti until they expire or repent, whichever happens first.
3.) Continue cold biscotti treatment.

[Darksheare]

LOL!
Hey, that looks like NiMH cat.