Post some good jokes

[A_cool_guy]

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy

[Monkey Face]

OI! I wish I could be a stowaway on your plane...Helsinki is one place on my Wish List!

[sionnsar]

I think I am looking forward to it. Cold, no problem. Spikka Englisch, seems marginal. The Finns I’ve met so far are gregarious friendly, so that’s fine. Saunas... run awaay!

[Monkey Face]

LOL!
I canNOT imagine you in a sauna! However, if you run into any single Finns about my age, you have my permission to tell them where I live! LOL!

[sionnsar]

LOL! Can’t take the heat. (My hot Scottish blood, doncha know.) Singlefinns, be ready...

[Monkey Face]

Somehow, I can’t imagine you enjoying any place in the world where the temp is over 67...

*pant-pant*

(I’m waiting with bated breath!)

[sionnsar]

Pretty close to correct. *\;-)

Have a couple of guidebooks to look through, but haven't really opened them yet. Though Helsinki seems pretty compact and I shouldn't have any difficulty filling a day and quarter or so.. if the brain is still functioning after the work preceding.

[NicknamedBob]

"Somehow, I can’t imagine you enjoying any place in the world where the temp is over 67..."

I learned a long time ago that the secret of being more comfortable was to broaden the range of temperature at which I can be comfortable. It's surprising how much latitude a hat and a hoodie give me in that regard.

I used supplementary heat tonight also. I wanted to make sure the ink could flow because I had to write a check.

[Monkey Face]

I’ll be interested in whatever it is you “find.”
(Would that I were you!)

[Monkey Face]

Did you write that hot check to me?
(She asks, coyly!)

[sionnsar]

NnBob insists he’s evil (or something like that). Do you really want the cheque?

[sionnsar]

I’ll be interested in whatever it is you “find.”
(Would that I were you!)

Sometimes it's food I can't "stomach." Care to revise your wish? *\;-|

[Monkey Face]

I suspect, when it comes to Bob, I should definitely look a gift horse in the mouth.

:oþ

[Monkey Face]

Er...I was thinking more in terms of something that was warm and mostly alive.
Something with an opinion, an appetite, and/or a good library. (Fireplace optional!)

[NicknamedBob]

"NnBob insists he’s evil (or something like that). Do you really want the cheque?"

It's difficult to do truly monstrous things by giving money away. That's why the current administration is so diabolically clever, you see.

Obam is going to fill up our gas tanks and get us new houses and cars. Who wouldn't want that?

What they don't realize is that the inundation of money being printed is going to drown us in Zimbabwe-style liquidity just like the Sorcerer's Apprentice.

[Monkey Face]

Obama is TAKING money from me. To date: $380. Next month, it will be $650. He’s not filling my gas tank, paying my rent, buying my groceries or making me feel like I’m really appreciated.

And I have a “friend” who thinks Zero is the best thing that EVER happened to this country. But don’t get me started!!

Hi, Bob!!

[sionnsar]

Zimbabwe. Don't get me started.

In fact, I'm signing off for the night. Got to keep the wood stove going to keep the otherwise temporarily sequestered carbon back in atmospheric play to ward off the cold -- the rain here yesterday was full of hail and snow.

[NicknamedBob]

One way or another, he is taking money from all of us. From our pockets, our paychecks, and our piggy-banks.

He is even robbing children yet unborn.

And he is NOT doing it from incompetence. He knows exactly what he is doing. There simply are not words to describe how despicably nefarious his schemes and actions are.

[Monkey Face]

If anyone should ask me...

[Monkey Face]

And they won’t because I’m so outspoken....

[Monkey Face]

He needs an enema of something I can’t provide.