Post some good jokes

[A_cool_guy]

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy

[Tax-chick]

I have work to do in Real Life, anyway ... and 100% chance of rain.

[Darksheare]

Spase, the spinal frontier.(Ouch, my spine!)
These are the voyages of the Sdarship WTF.(*Static crackle, ozone smell, crewmen flying, screams*)
It’s five year mission, (background voice “What?!”) to meh ploddingly where no-one has lounged bevore.
(Theremin noise, cats yowling)

[Dead Corpse]

Don't look at me, I'm just here for the scotch...

[Dead Corpse]

Ole/Sven is schizophrenic...

[Tax-chick]

I could use that!

[Monkey Face]

I agree. Of course, this IS National Athiest’s Day....

[Monkey Face]

Ah! Breakfast of champions!

[savedbygrace]

From an Email:

Baskin Robbins is introducing a new ice cream in honor of the inauguration, Barocky Road. It’s half vanilla, half chocolate, surrounded by fruits and nuts!

[savedbygrace]

Indian Chief, “Two Eagles,” was asked by a white
government official, “You have observed the white man
for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological
advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s
done.”

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, “Considering all these events, in
your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?”

The Chief stared at the government official for over a
minute and then calmly replied. “When white man find
land, Indians running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty
buffalo, plenty beaver, Clean Water; women did all the
work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day
hunting and fishing; all night having sex.”

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. “Only
white man dumb enough to think he can
improve system like that.”

[Tax-chick]

“Atheist.” Although I admit, “the most athi” kind of fits, too, depending on what one imagines “athi” means.

[MHGinTN]

Jo’s poem is actually a beautiful song she wrote and sings.

[Monkey Face]

LOL!

Thanks. I should start using FR’s spell check instead of my own. I know it’s compromised these days.

[ThomasThomas]

One would think that “freeper” or “FReeper” would be in the FR’s spellcheck.

[Tax-chick]

I don’t trust spellcheckers.

[Monkey Face]

LOL!

Show-off!

[Monkey Face]

I don’t normally trust them, either.
My sister and I used to take all the spelling championships in school, and until CFIDS came along, I never had to think about my spelling.

Now, it’s a sign of relapse. I don’t recognize my own mistakes. *sigh* But that’s the way it goes. It will get better. Sooner or later!

:o]

[muggs]

LOL

[Tax-chick]

Ah, well. “Athiest” is taking on a life of its own; I see it more often than the correct spelling. But I never see “athier.”

[ThomasThomas]

If spelling words were based on rules that were really followed we could make a spell checker that would work. Spelling is a form of torture thought up by grade school teacher to punish kids for think logically. You will never find the words “except after” in a math book.

[Centurion2000]

Obama