Vanity: Most Annoying Christmas Songs

The Radio | 12/17/2008 | VRWCmember

[VRWCmember]

For several weeks now a few local radio stations have been playing Christmas music non-stop, and I love hearing the songs celebrating the season -- especially the traditional carols.

How can you help but feel better when you hear Nat King Cole's smooth voice singing "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." (The Christmas Song) or Bing Crosby wishing you a White Christmas with every Christmas card he writes. And when Mark Lowry asks Mary if she knew that her baby boy would one day walk on water, it gives me chills. My drive home from work from late November to late December is so much more peaceful and enjoyable as I hear so many cheerful and encouraging songs celebrating the nativity.

There are, however, a few annoying songs that seem to get a lot of play this time of year that prompt me to change the station as soon as they begin. Just the first few notes, before the lyrics even kick in, make me want to hurl, or lash out at the stupidity of the idiot that put the disc in the player.

So as a diversion from the more important issues of the day, please post the titles/artists of the songs of the season that induce the urge to vomit or cause you to change the station when you hear them.

Here are my top most annoying Christmas songs ever: 1. So This Is Christmas (War is over?) by John Lennon 2. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney 3. Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart by Wham/George Michael 4. Santa Baby by Madonna

[Bertram3]

Have you heard “Walkin Around in Wimen’s Underwear” to the tune of Winter Wonderland? HILARIOUS!!

You're right

[Zman516]

It would take me less time to list the Christmas songs I like, as in general I don’t care for holiday music as most of it sounds hokey, dated, or both. But “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” makes me retch like no other seasonal song can.

My sentiments exactly. I have the urge to track down and kill McCartney every time I'm stuck hearing that loser.

Another horrible song largely (thankfully) forgotten is "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth". Even as a 4-year-old, I thought it was stupid.

[Eastbound]

‘Check the balls on the long-haired collie . . . ‘

[Lucky9teen]

Yeh, but have you heard Bob & Tom’s “Hadji’s Eight Days of Christmas” - Dick & Hadji?

It’s hilarious

[TexasNative2000]

“Feliz Navidad Growing up it thought it was, ‘Police Nab Me Dad.’”

I thought it was "F-leas on a Dog"........

[Tamar1973]

“Grandma got ran over by a reindeer” is the worst Christmas song. EVER!

[llevrok]

Any “Twelve Days of Christmas” variation.

[dfwgator]

String up the lights and light up the tree
We’re gonna make some revelry
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It’s Christmas time in Hell!
Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There’s lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling and all is well
It’s Christmas time in Hell!

There goes Jeffrey Dahmer
With a festive Christmas ham
After he has sex with it
He’ll eat up all he can
And there goes John F Kennedy
Caroling with his son
(Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!)
Everybody has a happy glow
Let’s dance in blood and pretend it’s snow
Even Mao Tse Tung is under the spell
It’s Christmas time in Hell!

Satan: Adolf, here’s a present for you!
Adolf: Oh? Ein Tannenbaum!
Satan (sarcastically): Yes, Ein Tannenbaum!

God cast me down from Heaven’s door
To rule in Hell forevermore
But now I’m kinda glad that I fell
‘Cos it’s Christmas time in Hell!
Here’s a rack to hang the stockings on
We still have to shop for Genghis Khan
Michael Landon’s hair looks swell
It’s Christmas time in Hell!

There’s Princess Diana
holding burning mistletoe
Over poor Gene Siskel’s head
Just watch his weenie grow!
For one day we all stop burning
and the flames are not so thick
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old St. Nick!

So, string up the lights and light up the tree
We’re damned for all eternity
But for just one day, all is well
It’s Christmas time in Hell!
Gather close together and make it quick
We’ve gotta make room for Andy Dick
Wake his mother and ring the bell!
It’s Christmas time... [christmas time x3]
Christmas time... [christmas time x3]
It’s Christmas time in Hell!

[Dick Bachert]

This is the WORST rendition of one of the most beautiful Christmas carols.

It is the SINGER (Hillary Klintoon) who is annoying.

Judge for yourself here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_zCpQZ-H94

[Lucky9teen]

What’s worse, is that this year, they started playing Christmas songs in the stores, the day after Halloween!!! Aghghghgghgh!!!

[ChiefJayStrongbow]

One of the best Christmas songs was from JAG, season 9. (Erica Gimpel) is entertaining the troops in Iraq and sings “Christmas All Year Long”.

It used to be on youtube, but I can’t find the clip anymore.

[Lucky9teen]

Ding Fries Are Done

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

You ever hear this one by Billy Idol....I LOVE IT!!!

YELLIN' AT THE CHRISTMAS TREE words and music by: Billy Idol, 2004 -----------------------------------------------------------

When I was a small boy
Here in London town
Season snow was falling on the ground
All the friends and family
Here on Christmas Eve
Gathered round to dress the Christmas tree

Daddy’s down at the pub
Full of Christmas Cheer
Probably won’t come home until next year

The Christmas bells are ringing
And the carolers are singing
My daddy he don’t hear them
He’s yelling at the Christmas tree
Santa’s balls are jingling
Mommy’s hips are wiggling
My daddy don’t hear ‘em
He’s yellin’, he’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree

Uncle is a spokesman
Granny likes a joke
But no one loves when daddy stumbles home

But he don’t fall asleep
Oh the night was getting black
You see, oh god, Dad had too much jack
Oh Lord . . .

Every year it’s the same old thing
Like Rudolph’s red nose
Telling the story will never get old

The Christmas bells are ringing
And the carolers are singing
My daddy, he don’t hear them
He’s yelling at the Christmas tree
Santa’s balls are jingling
Mommy’s hips are wiggling
But daddy, he don’t hear ‘em
He’s yellin’, he’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree

Alright now, yeah
Mm mm mm

Santa came down the chimney
Then he ran upstairs
Jumped in bed with mommy, she didn’t care

Across the room with the fruitcake
Oh the wreath came off the door
If these are holidays
I can’t take no more!

Every year it’s the same old thing
Like Rudolph’s red nose
Telling the story never will get old

The Christmas bells are ringing
And the carolers are singing
My daddy he don’t hear them
He’s yelling at the Christmas tree
Santa’s balls are jingling
Mommy’s hips are wiggling
My daddy don’t hear ‘em
He’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree

Santa’s balls are jingling
Mommy’s hips are wiggling
My daddy don’t hear ‘em
He’s yellin’, he’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree

Alright now yeah
Mm mm mm

Yellin’ at the Christmas tree
He’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree
He’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree
He’s sleeping in the Christmas tree.

[Arrowhead1952]

I have a new ear worms going everytime I look at this thread.

There are some songs I cannot stand and I can't get to the volume or on off button fast enough.

[Revolting cat!]

I'm all choked up having watched the Mary Did You Know vid with the song writer in the main role (Who's Mary? Why ask her so many times? Oh, never mind!) Is this what they call a torch song? Really, it calls for someone like Ethel Merman or William Shatner to sing it, though the author himself does a pretty good job, and I imagine Kenny Rogers knows how to go over the top too.

[redangus]

We three kings song by any kindergarten to 3 grade group.

[NappyOne]

Lots of people have expressed their dislike for “The 12 Days of Christmas”. There is a humorous rendition on the Bob Denver/Muppets Christmas album I enjoy. The Beaker-Dr. Bunson duet and Ms. Piggy’s “Five Golden Rings... ba-dump-bump” give me the giggles.

The NappyOne

[martin_fierro]

Hey now. HEY NOW!

(though I agree -- it is pretty annoying)

[Billthedrill]

Twisted Sister put out “Twisted Christmas” where they do classic Christmas songs to their music.

I did too. Underneath the makeup the boys are actually...uh...professional musicians.

For me Jingle Bell Rock makes me want to take a fire axe to the mall Santa. It isn't even rock, it's a cheesy swing beat. Little Drummer Boy makes me want to up the ante to a machine gun. I gotcher "pa rum pum pum pum" right here! Springsteen's Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town does for Christmas tunes what eye liner does for an anus. He's still pissed that anyone got anything positive out of Born In The USA and I'm glad he's pissed.

Lennon and McCartney on Christmas shows that the only part that took from their acid trips was the sugar cube. And I had the misfortune to hear I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus on a decent stereo yesterday. Midrange punched for AM radio and a serious case of adenoid trouble in the lead singer. I do hope she got the operation.

Merry Christmas, all!

[pgkdan]

LOL! You’re as ornery as I am!