Posted on 11/09/2008 5:48:55 AM PST by nuconvert
Recently, my wife and I took our 8-month-old daughter on a trip involving five plane flights in one week. Many people would be reluctant to travel with a baby that small, but we had a compelling reason: We have Fig Newtons for brains.
An intelligent person, or even a reasonably bright fungus, would know that two people cannot possibly carry both a baby and all the supplies the baby needs, including stroller, car seat, clothes, diapers, industrial-sized bale of wipes, stuffed bear, stuffed tiger, stuffed frog, stuffed paramecium, etc. The total weight of all these supplies can be hundreds of times the weight of the actual baby. This is why your famous explorers rarely traveled with babies. If Magellan had tried to sail around the world with a baby on board, his ship would have sunk at the dock from the weight of the formula alone.
(Excerpt) Read more at miamiherald.com ...
It is a funny piece, though.
pong
So funny and SO true!
How apropos!
I always loved his columns. His book on history cracked me up too.
What's an "in-flight meal"?
“You know what we need? We need an airline just for people with babies (it could be called “Shrieking Prairie Dogs From Hell Airlines”).”
Probably a more civilized solution than my suggestion that all children under the age of 12 travel as checked baggage.
I have been reading Barry’s columns and books for years. He must be over 50. I am surprised that he has an infant, and more surprised he has not yet learned to not take a baby on a plane trip!
Duct tape works fairly well.
I am surprised that the airlines have not implemented a child-surcharge.
Yes, he’s over 50...more like 60. This piece is about 8 yrs old.
Here’s a bio Dave wrote >>
http://www.davebarry.com/bioold.htm
Thanks! For whatever reason, and I did quickly check, I did not realize it was 8 years old. (My brain is still suffering from the election!) Nonethess, he is still too old to have a baby 8 years ago. I guess he really does have a sense of humor!
I’m good with duct tape too.
Then you already know that it seals all baby orices and works wonders to keep your mother-in-law attached to the wing during long flights!
I recently flew from australia and was assigned a seat in the row in front of the TV screen — ie., baby row. There were three spawns of satan who took it in turns to shriek all the way across the Pacific. For the last hour, they were a demonic chorus.
I’d have been angrier, except that 20 years my own child did the same things to innocent passengers. it’s karma.
lol, that is a good one.
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