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Barack Obama: "I Am Now a Vegan" [It's SATIRE, folks!]
SuperVegan.com ^ | April 1, 2008 | Jason Das

Posted on 10/28/2008 5:05:16 AM PDT by Calpernia

In a speech this afternoon in Altoona, Pennsylvania, Senator Barack Obama made a groundbreaking announcement:

I have long been an advocate of the less fortunate among us, of those who life has handed a crooked deck, the short end of the stick, an unfair deal. There are no Americans for who this is more true than the populations of our feedlots and industrial farms. It is time to end the exploitation of farmed animals on American soil. It is time to give up hamburgers as we have given up slave-holding. It is time for us to end our dependence on milkshakes as we must end our dependence on foreign oil. It is time to acknowledge that the fishing industry does damage to our oceans far beyond that of emissions from our coal burning power plants. I invite all Americans to join me in a bright future free of cruelty and exploitation, free of the blood of innocents killed only for our pleasure.

While details of his animal liberation agenda were vague, he obviously doesn't lack conviction. When questioned directly by a reporter after the speech, Obama stated "Yes, I am now a vegan. From a personal perspective, it doesn't hurt that people of African descent are invariably lactose intolerant."

Longtime vegan and perennial presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich was supportive, saying "It's wonderful to see a young politician like Barack taking a stand on such an important, under-discussed issue." Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean was less enthusiastic: "While we support Mr. Obama's right to stand up for his principles, this decision takes him so far away from mainstream American belief that it's difficult to regard his candidacy as viable. The corn and soy lobby think they've pulled off a coup here, but he's just lost his Super Delegates." (It's worth noting that the Vermont dairy lobby is especially strong.)

(snip)


TOPICS: Agriculture; Food; Gardening; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: agriculture; farm; farming; fish; fishing; notsatire; obama; ranch; satire; satirecommastupid
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1 posted on 10/28/2008 5:05:17 AM PDT by Calpernia
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To: Grinder; Esther Ruth; freepatriot32; tiamat; Ladysmith; Alas Babylon!; Malacoda; vrwc0915; ...

Ping!


2 posted on 10/28/2008 5:06:04 AM PDT by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: Calpernia

Does he eat bacon?


3 posted on 10/28/2008 5:06:48 AM PDT by screaminsunshine
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To: Gabz; nw_arizona_granny

Garden ping list please


4 posted on 10/28/2008 5:07:01 AM PDT by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: screaminsunshine

Obviously not.


5 posted on 10/28/2008 5:07:23 AM PDT by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: Calpernia

OK, where’s the satire label?


6 posted on 10/28/2008 5:07:27 AM PDT by 230FMJ (...from my cold, dead, fingers.)
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To: 230FMJ

This is from a hardcore animal rights site. They don’t find animal consumption funny.

I wish it was a joke.


7 posted on 10/28/2008 5:08:59 AM PDT by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: Renfield; LibertarianInExile

Ping


8 posted on 10/28/2008 5:09:26 AM PDT by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: davidosborne; airborne; Antoninus; GulfBreeze; processing please hold; RasterMaster; ...

Remember when Tancredo sent Chertoff heads of lettuce? Maybe we should send hamburgers to Obama.


9 posted on 10/28/2008 5:10:43 AM PDT by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: screaminsunshine

Michjelee said he did when she was on one of the TV sghows. She made a point of saying bacon was a popular breakfast food at their house.


10 posted on 10/28/2008 5:11:08 AM PDT by kalee
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To: Calpernia

Where is the satire label?

Threads should be pulled IMO if they lack this.


11 posted on 10/28/2008 5:11:25 AM PDT by Red in Blue PA (Obama is not qualified for the FBI, but he is qualified for the Presidency????)
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To: Calpernia

Is this satire? Hard to tell anymore.

I thought I saw him eating a Philly cheesesteak in a recent photo.

I believe he also said he quit smoking....but then had to admit he was sneaking cigarettes.

Oh that Barry, he can just make himself anything he needs to at any given time.


12 posted on 10/28/2008 5:11:31 AM PDT by dforest (Is there any good idea out there that Obama doesn't lay claim to anymore?)
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To: Calpernia
A Vegan?

You mean like from Vega?

He's an illegal Alien for sure, and Dennis Kucinich confirms it.....

13 posted on 10/28/2008 5:12:49 AM PDT by usmcobra (There are 665,000,000 reasons why Obama should show his eligibility to be president!)
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To: kalee

Michele
shows

geesh, husband’s laptop fat fingers. ;)


14 posted on 10/28/2008 5:13:27 AM PDT by kalee
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To: Calpernia

>>>It is time to give up hamburgers as we have given up slave-holding.

Did he really say this???

Gee... if I were a black person, I might be REALLY offended!
Is he elevating farm animals or demeaning black people???


15 posted on 10/28/2008 5:14:56 AM PDT by Safrguns
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To: Calpernia

Who ate that second room-service lobster with Michelle? That girl eat it all?


16 posted on 10/28/2008 5:16:53 AM PDT by MHT
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To: Calpernia

No fair posting April Fools posts when it is no longer April Fools Day.

I have seen a half eaten breakfast plate with sausage (also half-eaten) on it when Obama made a campaign stop in a diner.

So he either is not presently a practicing Muslim, or he received a dispensation from an imam or something.

I’m more inclined to think he is an atheist Marxist.


17 posted on 10/28/2008 5:19:32 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("[Gov. Sarah Palin] is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger." -- Gloria Steinem)
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To: 230FMJ

“OK, where’s the satire label?”

I had the same question.


18 posted on 10/28/2008 5:20:14 AM PDT by SumProVita ("Cogito ergo sum pro vita." .....updated Descartes)
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To: Calpernia

This is stupid. Please pull the thread. If you even follow the link and read the comments, its plain that this was posted on April 1, 2008 and is an April Fools joke. Stop posting such crap here, let alone far outdated crap.


19 posted on 10/28/2008 5:20:38 AM PDT by lefty-lie-spy (Stay metal. For the Horde \m/("_")\m/)
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To: Calpernia

Please tell me this is satire.
Please.


20 posted on 10/28/2008 5:20:47 AM PDT by Scotswife
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