Posted on 09/12/2008 12:05:43 PM PDT by ButThreeLeftsDo
An angry Deltona father whacked his teenage daughter's boyfriend with a metal pipe after finding the boy naked in his daughter's room. Authorities say the father, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year.
When he heard noises coming from his daughter's bedroom Thursday morning and saw a stranger standing naked on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe. He then chased the teen out the front door and called police.
(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...
Something like this, I suspect.
TOONG!
Hippie Hitting Construction Worker With Wrought Iron Flower
MAD #139 December 1970, Page 15
http://www.collectmad.com/madcoversite/index-dmd.html
Pizza Delivery Guy (after being caught with Kelly on the couch): So how about my tip?
Al Bundy (leading him towards the door): Ok, here’s a tip
Al Bundy (slamming him against the door): Doors are hard.
Good.
He's lucky to be alive.
I may be mistaken BUT a minor has no right to “invite” anybody onto property or into a house.
Kid:
B&E, Lewd Behavior, Statutory Rape, Sexual Assault, Where is the real D.A. in all this?
Countered laying pipe with a pipe.
Makes sense to me..
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED “YES” TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does “LATE” mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does “ABSTINENCE” mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C: A woman’s place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature
_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)
Great question....
Agreed. Typical Ass Press article.
No details. No specifics. Just hype.
The article says the young man was standing naked ON the bed. I’d assume a threat if I saw a naked guy standing on my kid’s bed.
If anything he was too easy on the kid..
OK. Here we go with the details.......
http://www.news-journalonline.com/NewsJournalOnline/News/Headlines/frtHEAD02091208.htm
Officials: Dad finds naked boy in daughter’s room, hits him with pipe
By PATRICIO G. BALONA
Staff Writer
A Deltona father ended up in jail Thursday after finding his daughter’s teenage boyfriend naked in the girl’s bedroom and hitting him with a pipe, sheriff’s officials said.
Raul Colon, 45, didn’t even know his daughter had a boyfriend — or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year. So when he heard noises coming from his daughter’s room early Thursday and saw a naked stranger standing on the girl’s bed, he swung a metal pipe he had taken from the garage, hitting the 15-year-old, according to a Volusia County sheriff’s report.
Colon was charged with aggravated battery on a child but was released from jail later Thursday on $10,000 bail, a booking officer said. No one answered the phone at Colon’s residence Thursday for comment.
According to the report, Colon heard the noise in his daughter’s room when he got up at 4 a.m. to let his dog out, as he does every morning.
Colon told deputies he chased Lucas Contreres through the kitchen, living room and through the front door and out into the street and called 9-1-1.
Colon’s daughter later told deputies she had been seeing Contreres for 18 months but did not tell her father about the relationship. Contreres had sneaked in through a bedroom window at 3 a.m. Thursday to have sex with her, the 15-year-old girl told deputies.
Contreres was found at Florida Hospital Fish Memorial in Orange City where he received staples to close cuts on his head. His injuries were not life-threatening, deputies said.
Contreres told deputies a similar account to Colon’s. He said Colon came into the room and started swinging at him with the metal pipe. He jumped out of the bed and began running through the home to get away from Colon. Once outside, he jumped on his bike and went home. His sister later took him to the hospital, deputies said.
Although Contreres’ father said he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to press charges, deputies took Colon to jail anyway.
“Son, we use the Barrier Method of Birth Control. **I** am the Barrier, and you have to get past me first. . . .”
(evil grin)
I’m glad I don’t have daughters.
Fla., castle law???
That really did make me LOL!
Ah....I don’t think “castle doctrine” would apply in this case..
I do, so I just copied the application.
OMG! I love it!
Can I borrow that application?
Statutory rape charges anyone? Just to add insult to his pipe injury.
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