We need to release similarly damaging information on the Dems, tit for tat.
Congratulations, this thread wins the booby prize.
Posted on 09/08/2008 7:08:55 AM PDT by Sloth
WASHINGTON -- Sources say Alaska Governor and Republican Vice-Presidential nominee persists in breastfeeding her youngest child, Trig Palin, in spite of the fact the scientists and economists agree that the practice will do nothing to drive down elevated milk prices or alleviate child hunger on a global scale. Palin, who declared October 2007 as Breastfeeding Awareness Month in Alaska, admitted earlier this year that she has been providing an unspecified amount of breast milk to her 4-month-old son.
Dr. Michel Fromage, spokesman for Médecins Sans Intégrité, lashed out at the mother of five on Monday. "This woman's do-nothing 'solution' is a slap in the face to starving children everywhere" and expressed doubt that the Governor's lactation is a carbon-neutral process. Dr. Fromage also said the candidate's unrepentant attitude sets a poor example for struggling mothers. "I have a real problem with what Sarah Palin is expressing."
Democrats and members of the media have repeatedly requested the McCain campaign submit Governor Palin's mammary glands to medical examination, in order to assess the long-term achievable yield; many Democrats claim that the reserve will dry up within a few years, providing temporary relief at best. The Republicans have resisted such calls, saying that any increase in supply is better than none, and that the non-destructive tapping methods used make harvesting the resource a no-brainer. "If it's there, stick a pump on it," shrugged one delegate at the recent Republican National Convention.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi pointed to Palin's practice as "predictable GOP shenanigans, pandering to big-money special interests like La Leche League." Pelosi also called for a special prosecutor to investigate claims of nepotism in Palin's awarding of the no-bid milk contract to son Trig just a few months before accepting the GOP nod. "This kind of sweetheart deal is typical of the Republican culture of corruption -- children of privilege and other relatives of powerful but unethical politicians, sucking at the government teat."
Pendulous swing voters seem dissatisfied with Palin's excuses. "Working people are paying $4 a gallon for milk, and this is the Republicans' solution?" fumed Greg Packer, a highway maintenance worker from New York, latching on to a common consumer complaint. "Sarah Palin's empty 'Suckle Here, Suckle Now' philosophy does nothing to solve the very real food supply problems we face." Packer suggested the aggressive use of Saudi Arabian wet-nurses as a more responsible alternative, in opposition to many Republicans' goals of weaning Americans off foreign sources.
The Obama campaign released a statement declaring that "while this sort of questionable contact between a woman and her minor child unavoidably evokes distasteful memories of the Larry Craig and Mark Foley scandals, let us be clear that Sarah Palin's swollen breasts are absolutely off-limits in this campaign." The statement adds that any campaign officials who raise the issue in the media will be sternly slapped on the wrist. Senator Obama had earlier gone on record as saying that he is "personally opposed" to infant starvation but that the moral questions involved are "above my pay grade."
You “hit it out of the park!” ;-)
As you can see, the Republicans, including Sarah Palin, look out for #1 first. That is why she is nursing her OWN baby, and not someone else’s who really needs it. The shame.
That Obama quote is as typically frightening as everything else that comes out of his mouth. He makes my skin crawl.
:^) I'm disappointed nobody remarked on "latching on"...
That kid needs a bust in the mouth.
We need to release similarly damaging information on the Dems, tit for tat.
Congratulations, this thread wins the booby prize.
I wish this was true.
I'm surprised I've seen no posts of outrage from Freepers who take your post seriously.
Someone needs to get the crap smacked out em. I know this is tongue n cheek (Oh SHUT IT)but its still offensive.
That was absolutely hilarious. Thank you so much!
This is where I knew it was satire.
Funny!
*Ping*
(my apologies if you’ve already seen it)
excellent
Baby Drowns!!!
When I read the title I thought it sounded just like the dim phobiacs.
If they could they would steal your spoof...and use it as truth.
LOL The appeal of the swing voters is obvious!
Instant classic! Hilarious, sloth!
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